On the First Day of Easter, My True Love Gave to Me

This Triduum weekend was much busier than I imagined; Will is back in the ER and, fortunately/unfortunately, he's working nights. He has two more shifts before he is done [with night shift] for the month, but dang, we are both tired. 

Tiredness, of course, means I am much slower at any type of school work (prep/grading/answering questions) done. This first year of teaching is an absolute blast - it's also absolutely exhausting when combined with a first year resident husband (I hear it gets better??) and two small tots.

Laura's radio show ("Late Nights with Laura!") is usually between 11-2:30 a.m., and last night was no exception. This was us at 2 a.m.

We went to 8 a.m. mass because Will got off his night shift at 7 a.m. and if I tried to get him up for a later mass, it would throw off his deep sleep. Needless to say, it was still tough to go from working all night to mass. He told me was trying to smile for this picture. I think the corners of his mouth are slightly up? Maybe I missed the American Gothic memo.

After we got the girls inside, Will went straight to bed. Laura took a nap, and Grace enjoyed presents from her parents and grandparents - and her first Easter basket!

Grace wore:

Dress: Hanna Andersson

Leggings: Hanna Andersson

Shoes: Keens (via Zappos)

She loves her basket.

She dedicated her time to spreading the Easter joy... 

... while I practiced letting go of the things I cannot control... like fun messes.

She had a very joy-filled Easter, and I am grateful for that. This was my first Easter away any extended family: just my family. 

I suppose I was worried that, if left to our own devises, Grace won't have the same fun memories I have with my large extended family. Every single holiday, I know exactly how we'll celebrate and (generally) who will be there. It's a little scary to establish your own traditions, melding favorites, faith and wants. 

Today, though we didn't have an Easter egg hunt or eat candy or play outside, was still fun. Simple and very one-on-two attention; we played together, and she helped me with a few chores. And when her dad woke up, it was two-for-two. Grace didn't care about any of the toys or books she received today: she only cared about attention and love from her parents.

That's what I'm taking forward into this Easter season - just as Christ gave himself to love, a love unto death - so I'm challenging myself to pay more attention. An accountability to Christ, who gave me my life and each sweet minute. To struggle more with him, rejoice more with him, and rest more with him. 

Laura wore:

hat & onesie: Vera Bradley Baby

Julie wore:

Top: Bravado nursing tank & cardigan (via consignment)

Necklace: Stella & Dot

Skirt: Ann Taylor (via ThredUp)

Bottoms: black tights & nude Steve Madden flats

My Lent was very sacrificial in necessary ways: new baby, less time/sleep, husband on night float ...

I want my Easter season to practice the renewal of spirit those struggles should produce. To free myself of the feeling of obligation, and to know that my duties are delights.

So, say it with me now: Alleluia! He is Risen!

{and:: linking with Fine Linen and Purple for the Easter Edition of What I Wore Sunday}

I Am What I Repeatedly Do: Why I Blog

I don't remember reading about this ring in Purgatory, but reading students' papers must be penance for all the bad papers I've written in my life.

I remember, freshman year, I wrote a bad paper. More accurately, a poorly edited paper. Ug, to think of it now! I just ran out of time! Time management has never been my strong suit. My professor asked me to stop by his office and told me that he's read my other papers, and he's read my articles in the school papers I wrote for - and I can do better. I have a way with words, and this paper was not up to par with my abilities.

Ouch, is all I remember. Oh, the shame. The shame. I needed that dose of reality. Hillsdale College gave me repeated doses of reality, all four years, and I became a better student because of them.

Now, I'm teaching writing to those young students of history. I'm teaching them the five paragraph format, thesis, body, analysis, and an original conclusion. It's made me think a lot about writing and my own journey.

The essay is, arguably, my favorite type of writing. It is also one of the hardest, due to its style and length. Which brings me to blogging.

I'll never understand all the existential crises I've had in regards to my blog. The WHY DO I BLOG misgivings and continuing the write here years after the willy-nilly start of this blog during college: the pull is still strong. I wrote through a Washington, D.C. internship, senior year of college, my first three jobs, friendships, and my entire relationship with my husband.

Sometimes, my blogging is about what I omit too - I've never wrote about the depth of my spiritual battles in college, heartaches again and again, the loneliness and hurt that cut deeper when you live in a snow globe, or dyslexia suspicions. But writing my blog - writing about my small victories, what I'm reading, what I'm trying, and what I love - gives me courage to write more publicly about the harder subjects, the ones I keep much closer to my shy heart.

When I was in college, I wrote letters to a few friends regularly. Most didn't reply back often in letter (gchat or a a text confirmed they were appreciated and read), but forging our friendship deeper helped me open up myself as an acceptable voice worth listening to. I loved writing letters in college, and today, as I struggle to finish Grace's birthday Thank You notes still, this blog is my new way of writing letters to friends I know are still reading.

I do write letters - I'm still pen-pals with a former professor of mine, a high school friend of mine, and a few college friends, including a sister-in-formation. I love the postcards that arrive in the mail now from travels; the baby announcements; and soon, the Christmas cards. For now, however, the blog reigns as my short essay; a kind of memoir, maybe, and a place where I can always publish, and even when I don't - where I can always write and don't have to worry about finding a stamp.

writing/ studying on the drive up to Michigan with our family pup

I never grappled with the term "writer" - I am one, ever since I was in the third grade and decided what I wanted to be while writing about Leprechauns. I do grapple with the word "blogger" though because, eh, it seems so informal. It brings out my worst fear that I am "wasting my talents" {unquote} and that what I write is unimportant... which brings me to you, dear readers: thanks for all the feedback.

Your feedback really brings out my Winston Churchill side to never, never, never, never give up writing. Some days, I'm too anxious to post -- what am I writing about?! For all the struggles and woe writing can bring, it is words that soothe the mind and warm the heart. Blogging gives that to me, and it gives back to those who needed to hear those words - it is too often to be a coincidence that I write substance people need to hear. This blog has the Holy Spirit racing through, and I feel it. My blog is beginning to feel like a mission, a purposeful outlet.

Then again, this is exactly what I try to capture in writing my blog - the extraordinary of the ordinary. The blog is such a normal medium, and my life isn't so special - except that it's mine. And as the leading lady of my own life, I have that responsibility to enjoy it.

And that is why I blog: I enjoy it. I don't blog for the numbers; I blog for the community that has grown around me and The Corner with a View. I don't always blog my best work; my best work comes out because of the writing I publish on this blog. I blog for the love of it, and that is really the only way to pursue passions. People are attracted to the genuine, to the beautiful and to love, and that is what I hope to give to my readers here.


Do you blog? Or why do you read blogs? What are your Aristotelian pursuits of the day?

Happy Monday! Thanks for reading, as my younger set like to write upon the conclusion of their essays... {We're working on that!}

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Falling and Flying

Today might have just been one of those days when you whoosh your To-Do list off the table. It started out normally... Grace wakes up; I trudge in and nurse her on the raspberry couch until she is done, and watch her play until Will comes in before his shower. I whoosh her downstairs to fix coffee and a breakfast sandwich for Will before he goes to the hospital library to study for a few hours before journal club and then his shift. I feed her breakfast, try to eat breakfast too, make a few phone calls and then... derailed.

We ended up taking a trip to the pediatrician for a minor (but worrisome to me) ailment, which took way longer than expected, and resulted in both Grace and I taking a 2+ hour nap once we got home.

<< Insert random activities: fixing dinner, play time, cleaning up/ moving piles somewhere else. >>

Grace's day ended with a walk to the ER to drop off her Dad's dinner (and bring a smile to two ladies' faces!), an extended bath time, dancing to Disney Pandora, reading extra books, night prayers and kisses.

It felt good. It felt like such a full day, even though I only accomplished one thing on my To-Do list. Just one.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned when I was single, and then re-learned when I got married, is the art of being content.

Being is a passive word, but it is not a passive state. One must work on "being" - being yourself, being content.

I've become more content with the reality that I am a slow cook writer (vs. a microwave). I was thinking back to college, when I wrote so many papers a semester, all the newspaper articles, and at least 3 letters a week (plus e-mails!). And as the years pass from writing with a point to writing with a purpose, I am more satisfied with longer stretches between publishing publicly. Less pressure to perform, and thus, more time to experience.

I still have goals! Oh yes. And I still overextend myself and say "Yes!" when I should say "No!", but the magic still carries me with hope and possibility.

I start by asking what is non-negotiable to me and what is negotiable. Non-negotiables, for example, the ability to take care of Grace and Will. The willingness to practice my faith. Keeping in touch with family and friends, and writing as a ministry and as a passion.

Negotiables include where I work, what we spend our money on, how I spend my time.

I am a firm believer that boredness is an unwillingness to engage the world. How can one be bored when there is something to learn or read or try? I believe even stronger than comparison of our one life to many people's photographs or success can do worse than ruin an appetite. It can ruin a life.

People ask if Grace is always smiling. The answer is no.

But I record her joy most of the time because it brings me joy. She is my niche. She is an integral part of my vocation, and I want to continue to teach her joy, and to strive, and to be content with who she is.

Insecurity preys on the discontent. But you're the only You in the whole world. You're on a mission from God. Your worth is not how many assets you have, or where you've traveled, or the clothes you wear. Your character is determined by truthfulness, kindness, goodness, and prudence more than how many people "like" your posts or read your blog or call you on the phone.

We all fall into the trap of wondering, What if...? When we should be thinking, What's next? How am I going to be the best version of myself? Am I working towards Heaven or am I scrolling the internet at 2 a.m. mindlessly? Am I using my gifts? Am I developing my talents? Am I helping others? What can I do better for the glory of God?

And when I re-align my life to a purpose, I find that contentment: to be the best wife to Will; the most loving mother to Grace; a good and kind daughter, sister and friend; a lover of life and appreciator of struggles and triumphs.

Life is not easier as a married person - there are different trials. Your marital status does not change your mindset. If you want the joy of kids but dread the late nights, crying, crumbs and heart ache, you miss the opportunities to experience life. Life is purpose: life is worth loving. Did I like spending Will's day off cleaning the house? No. Heck no! But we did it together because an orderly, tidy house is worth seeking. 

Let us clean house internally - the cobwebs of old hurts, the wishing for a different life, the wondering if you missed your one chance (which you did not, because life is not so linear). We must see ourselves through and love ourselves. 

We must fly to God with our struggles, and fly through life without the boggles of over-worrying and over-emphasis on the things we cannot change. We must try to find happiness during hard days. We must laugh more, forgive more, and think less about what we want. We must pray more for others - we must decrease so that Christ will increase. We must read more Scripture and more literature. Cultivate love and friendship. Think less and less about what others think, and get to know yourself.

Be happy with who you are, wonderful you. Life is too meaningful to want to be anyone else. Write your own adventure.

Source

Darlings, we must fly!

Wanting/Needing: Baby Edition

Keeping it simple - it's a mantra to embrace, especially after surviving two moves post-wedding (with another one or two in a few years). When my husband and I added our belongings together, it seemed easy enough. We had minimal "things" collectively, and got to add on what we needed and were given through our wedding registry. We fit all our worldly possessions into a small uhaul and three cars, and voila! Here we are today.

Adding a baby to the mix has added a brand-new element of our "Do we need this? What are the baby's wants?" My husband is the Master of Less Is More, so I've had to justify every baby item we have in the house. Here's what I've deduced so far for infants only; as you get to know your baby, you can better know what they "need"!

Needs

2-3 newborn onesies
2-3 newborn sleepers
You will get so many clothes... especially from doting grandparents and friends. We did not find out the gender, so we have neutral clothes that work great. Also, unless have a baby bigger than 9 lbs, I would not worry about the baby not fitting into newborn sizes. 0-3 will be big on your baby, however, until 1-3 months, unless you have a bigger baby.

Nap time in the sleeper

1 Fisher-Price newborn rock 'n play sleeper
This sleeper is perfection - it fits newborns (and up!); it is safe to keep the baby in; the baby can sleep at an incline; the sleeper should fit next to the bed fine, and then you (mama!) do not have to get out of bed every time baby needs to feed. It is also very reasonably priced. I've heard of people using Pack 'n Plays as well.

Blankets
You'll get these as presents. Lots of these. Wrap up that sweet thang.

1 car seat
You cannot leave the hospital without one! There are two options - convertible car seats and infant car seats + base. We currently use the latter with the former in storage.

1 stroller
Yes! I have this one - Baby Trend Snap 'n Go, which we use her car seat at the carrier and there is ample room below to carry groceries in; and as someone who lives in the city and walks to the grocery store with the baby, it really is invaluable. Yes, it has a cup holder too. I also found this snazzy Baby Jogger City Mini with car seat adaptability that looks awesome as well!

1 BabyErgo + newborn carrier
Serious love for this carrier - you can still use both hands and baby gets swaddled up so cozy. Helps calm fussy babies!

2 round pacifers
Babies like to suckle, and if your baby has a good latch, go for it. Seriously. They advise not before one month... I started a week or so in, just to calm Grace down. Her latch is still great and she loves it. I recommend round because that is the shape babies know in their little mouth; Grace would not take the contoured kind.

Her natural habitat

A sense of humor and patience
Oh honey, you'll need it!

Wants

1 Contoured Changing Pad
1-3 changing pad covers (I love anything aden + adais)

I was inclined to put this in the "need" category because I love ours so much, but I will concede that a fluffy towel will work just as well.

Toys, books and music
Baby don't care. Yet. The only amusement baby wants is to be held. That being said...

1 baby swing
Very nice and handy when you want to shower or clean up the kitchen or need a break. I love it when Grace falls asleep in it!

Crib, mattress, waterproof mattress pad, sheets
Grace won't be sleeping in hers for another couple months since she sleeps next to us. I know it's fun to set up the nursery, though! I like having our crib ready for action.

Changing table + dresser
Grace's dresser has space for her changing pad, which I treat as her changing table. That is upstairs, though, and since she is with us, the changing pad is on top of a flat surface in our room and her clothes are in a cute plastic box. She's all ready to move up there but, again, it certainly is not an immediate need. And really, if we had not been given the dresser, we might have improvised.

Bath tub, baby wash clothes & towels
Technically, you can always get by using adult ones (but the baby ones are much softer, so I like them) and washing the baby in/near the sink. My friend has this little bathtub and I might buy it for Grace too! It seems great!

Rocking chair
Honestly, you'll probably prefer the couch anyways.

Practicalities

1-3 nursing sleep bras
Invest in bras that can adjust cup sizes - I recommend wireless, too. I am 98% sure this is the one I have and I love it.

2+ boxes of nursing pads
I like Lansinoh's because they have adhesive on the back to stick to your bra... it's the little things.

4-6 boxes of newborn diapers + wipes
They eat a lot; they poop a lot. Shazam. You change their diaper a lot. I am not in the cloth diaper camp. I have changed too many poopy diapers in my day to want to do anything besides throw them away. Also, if your baby gets poop on anything, buy Biz detergent. Miracles happen, I tell you!! I love this product.

Boppy/ pillows
Super handy while nursing and falling asleep/ resting 

Entertainment
Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, books on tape... good luck reading (though I still try). Baby requires all hands on deck for optimal happiness!

Mom and I got gelato at Fresh Market - yum!

Food
Have easy to prepare foods available for you, especially nutrient-full. Since you won't be moving too much, unhealthy foods will weigh you down and you'll be extra tired. You will want all the nutrients you can eat for energy and your baby! My favorites: eggs, oatmeal, fruits & vegetables, Chobain greek yogurt, Kind bars, Progresso soup.

Postpartum clothes
Don't buy too many. I prefer my pregnancy shirts to my nursing shirts. I love my yoga pants, but anything remotely comfy works.

1 keepsake box
I got mine at Michael's for $2; I put all the cards sent to Grace, stuff from the hospital, her ultrasounds, etc.

A good filing system
Start keeping track of all your baby's health records, milestones, insurance, social security card, etc.! And request two birth certificates at the hospital, if possible.

Pump, etc.
If you're going back to work. I have yet to try mine out; no real rush here.

Baby shampoo/ body wash; rubbing alcohol + cotton pads; Vitamin D supplement drops
Got to keep Baby clean and healthy! I also have Little Remedies gripe water for Grace's hiccups.

Thank you notes
For all the presents bebe will receive!

Caffeine
Never, ever, ever, ever let anyone take this away from you, new mama. EVER.

What baby really wants and needs - one on one time with you!

Anything I missed?

Mighty thanks to Anna for the inspiration/ asking the question!

A Husband Is Not The Answer

Or a wife. Or a significant other. Or a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, as the King from The King and I liked to say. (I'll be approaching this article as girl to girl, in terms of pronouns, but I presume men can relate too!)

I saw a #singlegirlproblems post which bothers me excruciatingly - that the girl only wanted a husband, not friends. Without channeling Ya-Ya Sisterhood on y'all, I could not disagree more, and here's my basic breakdown of why: husbands are mortal, friends are backboards, you are irreplaceable.

Husbands, Mere Mortals

In Disney's Hercules, Meg is adamant about not being in love.



In the end, she folds. Okay, she's in love. Thanks, Muses. I suppose we all reach that point: we want to be with the one our soul seeks. We want love, the glory of love, the feelings of love, the need and want to be loved, and to love in return. Think of all the Pintrest projects you could attempt if you were in love! We women want to be the jelly to his peanut butter, the other half of his heart.

But already, you're aspiring to an ideal. You are thinking about your side of the bargain; and what about his?

My husband and I complement each other very well- but we're very different. Different food preferences, different cleaning preferences, different schedules, different aspirations. I know, and understand, that I do not fulfill life for him. I'd be more enthusiastic to exercise, more competitive, a better tennis player. But he's a good sport, and goes swimming with his wife the preggo whale.

I don't know what's happening, but it's silly

I love Will just as he is - which is hardly perfect , but perfect for me. Will is human, which means, for as much as I adore him, he'll never fulfill me. And that is why we go to mass with each other every Sunday, and worship and pray before the only human-and-divine man who could possibly satisfy: our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I do not mean this in a cheesy way. I mean this in a very real way. If you have not found your significant other, you are not being punished. You are just as worthy as the girl next to you. You were made in the image of God, which is to say, your soul contains the logos, a piece of the infinite. God is with you, and he will always be with you. This life you're experiencing? It's a journey. There is no end point until Judgement Day, where we will be able to finally know and understand the awesome love and mercy of God.

Being single is a vocation, and it can be a very heavy cross. In this age of social media, it is hard to see pictures of engagements, marriages and babies popping up on every news feed. But do not forget that people in tough marriages or struggling with infertility are also seeing those pictures, and they have their own cross to bear as well. No one is excluded from hardship in this life. Life is hard, and worth pressing on through - more than pressing on, even: enjoying!

There are small joys everywhere - try to find them in the every day, not the grand gestures.

Friends, Backboards (and sometimes backbones)

Ever wonder if a guy is for you? Ask a good friend. She'll tell you straight. You might disagree with her (just a little bit), and then realize (slowly, sooo slowly) that she is right. Near the end of another relationship, my bestie Julia gave me the same advice I had given her a year or so earlier: let it go, and let God. 

Ug. Let what go? My want to be married, and my frustration that my wants were not aligning with another's stars. 

I began earnestly praying, begging God: please let me bear fruit in my single life. Please let me be happy.

And God totally turned my world upside down. In a strange turn of events, I quit my job, I moved home, I sponsored a girl in RCIA, I met my future husband, I co-started the Bright Maidens. These things may not look connected, but they are through God's grace.

I could have done none of the above without my friends. I was encouraged to quit (and stand up for myself) after being treated badly, I was encouraged to move home when I wondered if that was the best decision (YES), I was inspired to sponsor by friends who were actively involved in other types of Church ministry, I met my husband through mutual friends, and I made two very dear friends as we started a new adventure of online evangelization.

Most importantly, it was friendships which kept me grounded in my growing relationship with Will. He met my friends, and I met his. We all got along, and we all learned different sides of each other. And since Will and I continue to be different people (none of this combining names or FB accounts, etc.! Personal autonomy!!), we will both continue to be better friends to each other, as well as cherishing old and new friendships together.

Here is a friend we both have, who always reminds me of why friendships are so important, in addition to marriage and familial relationships - he makes us laugh, he makes us cry, and he reminds us why friends are the ones who love us no matter what (even if we have abrasive personalities):



You Are Irreplaceable

Cue a Michael Buble song. It's so easy to be envious. It's so natural to want to be in the next stage of your life. But you're being given a gift right now: it's not a man, it's an opportunity. Pursue yourself. Pursue your dreams, goals, desires. There is nothing holding you back, except the time it takes to prepare.

I recently stumbled upon a couple interviews I did for my Theology of the Human Heart class in high school. I interviewed my cousin, my aunt/godmother, my mother, and my grandmother. The two that especially struck me were my aunt's and grandmother's - my aunt got married in her later 30's, and loves how much she was able to pursue her career and travel. My grandmother got married in her low 20's, and said that if she could have pursued a career path, she would have enjoyed being a t.v. anchor. My own mother got married at 25 and pursued a Master's instead of an M.D. She made that decision so that she and my Dad could have a bigger family with a more flexible schedule. Everyone made the right decisions for them, even though they came at different points in life, and for different reasons.

Photo credit: madeinhisimage.org

As for me, I've had to overcome being envious of not working for a regular publication full-time. Instead, I'm starting to take freelancing more seriously because that is the path I am currently on, as well as continuing to write book reviews and cultivating my pet projects. My current focus is supporting my husband, keeping house and finance control, and - soon enough - taking care of my little one. I'll be where I want to be eventually, and I'm learning to enjoy a different pace of life. I'm happy, even with the lumps of life. They certainly add perspective and reasons to stay grateful.

When I was single, I worked multiple jobs and I traveled, because that was my post-college plan. I also audited a class at the local seminary, spent time with my family (who I miss terribly right now), wrote, and prayed for my future spouse. This last part is especially important for me, because as much as I prayed, I was extremely humbled to hear that my future MIL had been praying for me as well. Never underestimate the power of prayer, or the miracles that can happen within when you spend more time with our Lord and less time consumed with pettiness, envy, sadness and anger. I'm working on this too, and dear reader, I am praying for you.

God works in mysterious ways, but we are all part of his glorious tapestry. Today, I continue to pray for my spouse. Life is better with him, but not easier. Everyone has challenges, and it is too simple to wish them away by adding in another person. No one can make you happy except you. More money will not make you happy. A different job will not make you happy. If you cannot find happiness within yourself, and accept your circumstances, and work every day to be a better person and a follower of Christ, then having a husband will be like a band-aid over a gaping wound. You need stitches. You need hope. You need to believe that life is an adventure, and you're in for a ride. You need to know that you are worthy of wonderful things happening to you.

A husband is a wonderful companion, but you are irreplaceable, and your happiness is contingent on you.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hid from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40: 27-31)

Great Expectations

Today at The Mirror Magazine

Has it been scientifically proven yet that more women are Type A personalities? Or is it that we think we need to uphold a set of values that is not universal, but constantly ruining the fun in our lives? We need to be smart and saavy; we need to be gorgeous (models-as-standard) and athletic (fit, too); we need to be domestic enough to please other people's standards; we need to pay attention to our kids; we need to have our own fulfilling careers.

My mom and me: two Type As, different goals

The pressure to work in a job for career-purposes, the pressure to marry and then the pressure to have kids and the pressure to support those kids in their range of activities and schooling ventures... has life turned into a tea kettle for women? Are we all going to end up screaming when the water gets too hot?

In yesterday's Gospel, Mary sat listening at the feet of Jesus while Martha was busy serving everyone. Exasperated, she asks the Lord if he can tell Mary to help too. Instead, he says, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her."

This story is so important for women - and not because they need to decide if they are a Martha or a Mary. Philippians 4:6-8 (RSV) says, "Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

When we bring our gifts to the Lord, they are enough. Sometimes, the laundry is going to sit for days. The kitchen will be a mess after you just cleaned it. The project you finished is praised, but then you're given two more and the time slot is narrow. You're working out and eating well, but the weight is not coming off quickly. Life is not as you planned - and isn't that where this anxiety is coming from?

Perhaps we women need to take a step back from our want/need of "instant gratification" - having it all, all the time. My Latin teacher used to tell us that we could only have two of the three things: studying, sleep and social. I refused to believe this, but I am not a Latin scholar. Rather, I have embraced the idea of "slowed gratification" - happiness comes out of making sacrifices, taking a different route, allowing choices to shape life, and accepting gifts along the way.

Otherwise, ingratitude sets heavy on shoulders. Many people feel disappointment because they want excitement and social outings and dates and a fulfilling job. But they're in their twenties and the job experience necessary for fulfillment has yet to come into fruition. For some women, this disappointment continues into their thirties and forties: marriage isn't what they dreamed; kids are sponges of time, energy and resources; and just what is the point of it all?

Women, we need let ourselves slow down, sit and appreciate the hospitality of enjoying other people as well as serving other people. If it feels one-way, then something is amiss. If we cannot sit in the presence of the Lord without worrying about a project due at work or dishes that need to be done, we're not paying enough attention to the important parts of life. If we're worried about what other people think more than our own concerns and the concerns of our family, that is anxious and not loving.

Meal time is an especially good time to slow down and listen

The pressure cooker will always be on in variable areas of our life. The challenge is to let the pressure rise, but be ready for it. Delegate and let other people help, even if they do it in a way different from your own. (Loading the dishwasher, anyone?) Let silence enter your heart and mind, and may you find peace in the blessings life has given you.

What has helped you find happiness, readers? How do you slow down in this busy world?

Pro-Life Conference in Nigeria Needs Help

If you interested in helping, please contact Leila at Little Catholic Bubble:

Dearest Sisters and friends,

I have been asked by one of our Nigerian Archbishops, (Archbishop AJV Obinna of the Archdiocese of Owerri) to organize a Culture of Life Conference for the people of his Diocese -Owerri Archdiocese, which is in the South-Eastern part of Nigeria. Many in this part of the country are really unaware of the struggle all over the world to defend life from conception to natural death. The African Catholic Bishops know and understand that the battle has already been brought to their door steps because there have been recent attempts to legalize abortion , flood our health facilities with contraceptives and bring in the so called ‘comprehensive’ sex-education which does not take into account Christian or even African moral values and sexual ethics.

So he (Archbishop Obinna) told me that he was thinking of dedicating some days (possibly up to 1 week) to a Pro-Life/ Culture of Life Conference for the Archdiocese of Owerri around June 2013 (specific date not yet decided). However he has asked me to ‘draw-up’ a plan or even a detailed proposal for this Conference in terms of substance and content. But I have never been involved in organizing this type of program. However, I promised him that I will beg and appeal to the vibrant pro-life community in America for people and organizations who can help us with their knowledge and expertise in this area . I am aware that because this is a busy time of the year when many people are busy planning for the year ahead, and so you are probably heavily laden with work and various engagements but I am praying and hoping that because the most successful and effective pro-life & pro-family conferences and lectures are organised in America, that you would consider getting involved with this African project.

We will be very grateful for any level of involvement that you could afford to give us based on your wealth of experience (all ranging from ideas of possible contents, subject matters, talks, areas of concern for the African societies , global cultural change etc.). In terms of the African audience, there will be people from a broad spectrum of our typical African society – from the well-educated civil servants to the uneducated farmers and traders, from the clueless youth to the concerned elders – it is an Archdiocese that caters for so many people of different walks of life and as such there is such a great need to sensitize and educate them in these issues that are becoming more and more important in the on-going global discussion (on abortion, contraception, sexual ‘health’ , maternal health , gender equality, feminism etc.).

Please let me know if you are interested in this and if you are able to participate in any way at all (even if you are only able to have a few email conversations with me in order to direct me to some good ideas ). And if you know anyone who may also like to join the conversation and planning of this sort of event for an African Diocese , please kindly refer me to them so that I could make the same appeal to them . Thank you so very much Pro-life Americans for your witness which reverberates in far and distant lands.

United in thoughts and prayers,
Obianuju Ekeocha (Uju)