Grace's Diagnosis: Or, What Cerebral Palsy Means

Grace turned 11 months this week. It is time to write about Grace's diagnosis. I have thought and prayed a lot about it; I fear ignorance, and I want to dispel fear. What people do not know, they Google. And internet search engines do not diagnosis people. {p.s. this is a long post}

If I had a quarter for every time someone told me how beautiful my daughter Grace is, or how she looks like the Gerber baby, or how she should be a model, Grace's first year of college would be paid in full. It's fact, not opinion. My daughter has beautiful eyes, long eyelashes, a perfectly round head with a cute chin, a button nose, a rosebud mouth, and the softest skin. The way she catches your eye and smiles; the way she laughs! When she was born, I couldn't stop staring at her or holding her. She is still so perfect.

She was born at 40 weeks, 2 days. A low risk, uncomplicated pregnancy; I pushed for almost an hour and a half. Her APGAR scores were 9 and 10, and her Moro reflex was perfect. We got released early from the hospital, which was a God-send. I couldn't sleep with nurses coming in every hour or so.

Around 3 months, we noticed she liked to keep her right hand fisted. The family nicknamed her "Little Lefty Baldwin" - but I read that kids do not prefer a hand until 2-4 years old. Will and I started to talk possibilities. We decided, if she was still clenching her hand, we would bring up PT/OT to Grace's pediatrician.

At six months, she was examined by three doctors, none of whom were conclusive about why her hand was clenching. She was moving her arm around, opening her hand occasionally, and responding well to tests. Her pediatrician prescribed PT/OT through a Louisiana program called Early Steps.

A month of evaluations, and she was in the system. Grace was assigned a therapist we called Ms. Lisa, and she was a wonder woman for Grace. She taught us so much too, and recommended us to see a pediatric physiatrist, Dr. Karlin; he attended Mayo for medical school, is triple board certified, and well-known for diagnosing hard cases. He also has cerebral palsy.

Dr. Karlin met with us, examined Grace, had Grace's bones scanned, and wanted to do a CT scan on her as well. Will pushed for an MRI instead, because if the CT scan was inconclusive, we would have to do an MRI anyways, and he wanted Grace to have the least exposure to the radiation.

On May 26, Grace's 8th month mark, she had her MRI. In retrospect, it was such a blessed day. I was not allowed to breastfeed her for six+ hours, and I was petrified she would be weeping from hunger. Quite the opposite - she got mad at me briefly, but was in quite good spirits for the whole procedure.

Later that day, we got a phone call from Dr. Karlin's office to meet him the next day to discuss Grace's MRI. Will and I felt a little trepidation, but Grace's symptoms never seemed serious enough for major concern.

Nothing prepared us for seeing the MRI.

In utero, Grace suffered a massive stroke. In an adult, it would have been devastating. But Grace's little brain is so elastic, and it already started to heal itself (my non-medical opinion based on how well she was/is doing/ apparent muscle weakness). Later, we met with a neurosurgeon, who said she would not need a shunt, which means there is no fluid build-up. This diagnosis is not progressive. Grace can only get better.

Grace has right hemiparesis cerebral palsy. This mean she had a stroke before the age of 1 (cerebral palsy), and it affected part of the left side of her brain, which affects the right side of her body (right hemiparesis). Her right arm, hand and leg are weaker than her left. The neurosurgeon also said, with intensive physical and occupational therapy, she should have full strength on her right side by age 5 or 6. She may need speech therapy in the future. She may continue therapy past 5 or 6.

There are still a lot of unknowns. There are still a lot of hope. Grace has unlimited potential! The doctors are amazed at her -- she was a difficult case to diagnose because her symptoms did not fit the mold. She is already doing things we were told she may never do, like crawl. GHB thrives because of her self-determination, and by the enormous love and support of her family.

I have resisted publishing my thoughts on Grace's diagnosis because the emotions are so raw. I'm sensitive to thoughtless comments, though, and after the beyond base tweet of Richard Dawkins that parents who do not abort their children with Down syndrome are "immoral" (and should just "try again"), I could no longer be silent.

No one chooses to have children with special needs (besides adoption): we are chosen. We are chosen, even when we are scared and feel weak and do not know how we can be the best thing for the child. Grace had a stroke in utero that just happened (so the doctors have told us thus far); I do not have any medical issues, or family history, and the pregnancy was healthy and low risk.

Staring at Grace's MRI that day with Will, my chest tightened, and I didn't believe what I was seeing. And Will, who understood better than I what we were looking at, only strengthened his resolve to make sure Grace gets exactly what she needs from us to thrive. He is certainly the best father to Grace, and exactly who she needs.

It is okay to be scared when your child is given a scary diagnosis. But you are exactly what you need for your child. I was scared - what if I did her exercises wrong? What if...? But when it came down to it, that was pride speaking. My comfort zone didn't like someone else sitting on the couch, demanding my time and energy, compassion and empathy.

Moreover, I've been amazed by the time and compassion given to us by Grace's doctors and therapists, both in New Orleans and now here in PA. They are teaching me as much as they are teaching Grace. They give me perspective, and they give me insights. I am a better mother and person because of their witness and encouragement.

Dawkins also said that autistic people should not be aborted because they contribute to society. Reader, you may be thinking, Why are you even engaging in these ludicrous ideas?

Answer: Because they exist and people are perpetuating them. The current statistics say that 85 percent of fetuses (that is, an unborn human being living within its mother's womb) with Down syndrome are terminated in utero. That is beyond unbelievable. For all the uproar happening about the horrific killings in the Middle East with ISIS, we need to put on our consistency pants and stop being so self-centered that we would rather kill a child than "burden" ourselves by caring and love him or her.

The burden of special needs children is a unique one, countered purely by the outpouring of love for the individual child. Yes, financial sacrifices are made. If you know a family with severe special needs, I think giving them financial assistance would be a beautiful gift. For some disabilities, there is also state-funded help (which does not match/ often go as long as private, but it is a start). But we cannot put a number on a child if they are already alive.

Sitting in the waiting room today, before Grace's therapy appointment, I witnessed children of different needs and their parents or caretakers. The love of these children is so apparent, and because of their disabilities, the parents give more love. In the face of frustration, love. Every day, we must choose love. There is no other path: we teach our children by example, and how to be the best version of themselves, and how to be kind and patient with themselves. Love overcometh; love spilleth over.

The question has been asked, "Would you change your child's diagnosis if you could?" But how could I change that reality about my daughter? Any more than I could change her sandy hair with the little curls, or her bright blue eyes, or stubbornness.

How could I take away her witness to the world - her chance to overcome, and learn that goodness comes with the struggle. She may cry during our therapy sessions: her Dad and me trying to teach her to use her right hand, to crawl and scoot, and to use her right side as she does her left. I am fully aware of her limitations: but they are not forever. Even if she never gains full use of her right side, she has already progressed farther than where she was at a few months ago. She is continually amazing us.

One day, I look forward to her using both hands to drink from a cup, or read a book, or hold on to a swing. One day, I hope to watch her running strong and studying hard. Her physical limitations are temporary; we will teach her love, virtues, curiosity, and about our God.

A good friend of mine has a son with autism, and she talked to me a lot after Grace's diagnosis. She told me how Grace's new needs take me off the motherhood hamster wheel, and will continue to give me a new perspective on how amazing my daughter is. I will continue to push Grace, but I will also be more tender. I will not take her for granted: I will be grateful.

Do not ever feel sorry for GHB because she has cerebral palsy. It is part of her; it is not her. The range of cerebral palsy cases is similar to Downs syndrome and autism - there is not a one size fits all solution.

I hope, by writing about our journey with Grace and cerebral palsy, to change the attitude that children with special needs are a burden. I hope to show the way a child loves a parent can open a heart more fully, a heart this writer tries to keep protected, until it bleeds onto the keyboard and words are formed. I hope to stop the ignorance that special needs children are more work than they are worth - because their life will change your life, and for the better. They are a gift to all of us - and especially me!

**

A few of my favorite blogs to share...

• Sarah writes at WifeyTini about many things (language warning!), and quite hilariously so. She has a son, Henry, with spina bifida, and writes an awesome posts to "change the way we talk about disability in this culture":

I am not an expert on sociology, or language, or (least of all) people with special needs. All I know is that every day since we learned Henry would have spina bifida, we were conditioned to think the worst about his diagnosis. We were advised to terminate, by more than one person, seemingly because a life with spina bifida is so terrible that it’s better to not live it at all. Can you comprehend that? There is such a disconnect between the beautiful children I see who happen to have a disability, and the sorry, deformed, faceless nobodies that our culture makes them out to be. And the disconnect didn’t hit me — not really — until right after Henry was born. 

I was holding him, actually, when I got the phone call. It was a nurse from some county office, wanting to let us know that, because of Henry’s condition, we qualified for food stamps and other assistance (which we declined). 

“I’m calling,” she said, her voice dripping with sympathy, “because we hear you’ve had an adverse birth outcome.” 

What? I thought. He died? And then I realized she was talking about Henry. What the shit? I mean, he’s got some issues, sure. But adverse? A “birth outcome”? 

The thing about defining moments is that you don’t really realize they’re defining at the time. My response wasn’t one of righteous indignation. I didn’t deliver some Sorkin-esque speech. I said “Wow. Uh, no?” And then I laughed. Because it was ridiculous. I wasn’t mad, don’t get me wrong — I’m sure she was a very nice woman who was tasked with having a very uncomfortable conversation with a hormonal, post-partum stranger. I get that. But damn if what she said didn’t knock my socks off. So that’s how you see them, I realized. That’s how you see my baby.

Excerpted from her post "I smell an agenda..." You bet your balls you do.

• Mary at Passionate Perseverance makes me want to have a coffee date with her every single day (which I can, though her Instagram!). Her love for her daughter Courtney is bubbling from every post, even ones chronicling hard days, and her witness is inspiring:

After a little back and forth between him and the students explaining all the medical procedures that have been done on Miss Courtney, we opened the floor to questions. Oh the questions I got. Medical questions, family questions and psychological questions. Questions about faith, freedom of choice/assisted suicide and day in/day out care of our sweet girl. This little impromptu class took over 90 minutes and it was fascinating. There was laughter, tears and even a few "I'm sorry's" which I asked them not to say.   

I explained that saying "I am sorry" to me about what was happening wasn't necessary. There is nothing for anyone to be sorry about. Miss Courtney belongs to God, always has, always will. Jerry and I just get to borrow her for a little while. She is a living saint and part of her job is to be a witness to the faithfulness of Our Lord who is always be by our side. He has been right here with us from the very first moments of her life in the womb.

Excerpted from her post "little miss sunshine update... every day is a gift..." 

• Finally, Love That Max is a special needs blog about a boy named Max with cerebral palsy. His mom writes so eloquently about it:

So there's all the crappy stuff, and then there's the reality of Max. He is a really bright kid who's well aware of what's happening in this world (and who never lets his little sister put one over on him). He likes to learn, and picks up things quickly. The cp hasn't prevented him from walking or riding a bike. The cp hasn't prevented him from playing with trucks, coloring, downing ice-cream or doing all the other stuff little kids love to do. The cp has not affected his incredible determination, his spirit, his sunny disposition, his sense of humor, his fantastic attitude. Max doesn't yet know he has cerebral palsy. Someday, he will, but I'm not concerned it will change his perspective on who he is. 

If you don't have a child with disabilities, the cerebral palsy may seem like a tragedy to you. I'm here to say, it isn't. Do I wish he didn't have it? Of course I do. But do I wish that I didn't have a temper? Yes. Do I wish that Dave didn't have such trouble listening? Yeah. Do I wish that Sabrina was more patient? Yes. We all have our weaknesses, and while Max's may be more involved and more obvious, they're part of who he is. 

Cerebral palsy has not defined his life.

From her post "It's Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day and hello, world, my child is not a tragedy"

And these two posts on Downs syndrome: "Dear Richard Dawkins, You Are Wrong" and "A Different View: Three Years Later"

**

Happy [belated] 11 months, ma bebe! I am loving all your babbling; how vocal and definite your responses are to actions. You signal for "more" by slapping your left hand down, and you shake your head for "no."

Your smile is always the best part. You've started sitting up in your crib in the morning and after nap time, which also means you occasionally get your leg stuck between the bars (whoops!). You make me feel like the most special person in the world when we play together - you are so curious and fun! It makes my heart melt the way you get so excited upon seeing your Dad. You still love peekaboo, which is one of my favorite games too. I wish you'd let me hold/ finish reading the book during story times, but it is super cute the way you turn the pages yourself.

You love kisses and tickles, and I love giving them to you. You are ridiculously flexible. You love singing along to music, and are especially loud during mass (singing, you know, is praying twice!). I'm also glad you love walks, going on errands, car rides and snuggles, because we do that a lot together. You especially love when your Dad and I are both paying attention to you at the same time. You make every day a perfect treat.

We love you, Grace Harriet!

Pro-Life Compassion

In the 2011 film Friends With Kids, two platonic friends decide to have a child together without the entanglements of marriage (which they saw as tearing their other friends's relationships apart). A year or so after their child is born, Jason (the father) meets "The One" and at their initial meeting, he explains that yes, he has a kid, but no, he is not in a relationship. She, in turn, asks he knocked up a Catholic girl.

 It's possibly my favorite part of the movie, which is not saying much. Friends With Kids was a very bleak look at having kids, and the lack of proper communication between the adults was surely everyone's downfall. But it was a strangely pro-life film. Even with the adults crying and getting their knickers into a twist, there were kids running around everywhere. I think they were supposed to seem annoying and unruly, but I enjoyed their vibrancy and the liveliness they offered to the  film.

Kids!

Moreover, all the parents had their kids on purpose. All the children were "wanted". By the end of the film, the very character who had been criticizing kids being brought to fancy restaurants at the beginning was now staring at them with doe-eyes and compassion, and asking the parents how old they were. For the first time in the whole movie, a character showed real compassion toward the lives of children.

 The main characters, who avidly hate organized religion (their words, not mine), would more than likely be contemptuous of the pro-life movement, and really, any one who did not wholly support their decision-making process. But would they really have been as rabid as what we saw in Texas? The yelling, the signs, and the insinuations that "my body, my decision" means that fellow women cannot plead and pray, men have no say in the decision-making process, and the child inside is not its own autonomy.

As Mary C. Tillotson wrote in "Disabled Babies, Moms, and Men: Can We Please Love Them All?", " If we really need to turn men into straw men and tear them down, we’re buying into the (false) idea that men really are superior and all we can do is mope about it and resent everything. If we honestly believe that men and women really are equal in worth and dignity, we won’t feel threatened when a man speaks with kindness or offers to help." As this is the end of NFP Awareness Week, I wanted to make suggestions for a more fruitful and successful pro-life attitude and movement. It starts small, with every person.

1. Pray

 It is more than praying ceaselessly (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and adding "the unborn" to prayer intentions - we must earnestly pray for women (especially those in domestic violence situations, and victims of sexual assault and rape); pray for people's hearts to be open to life, to understand its sanctity, and to uphold human dignity; for men; for all families affected. We must broaden our understanding of what it means to be "pro-life" to include the care and love of every single human being - especially those we disagree with, and who cause us frustration and anger.

2. Watch your thoughts, curb your words 

Never, ever, ever say "baby killer" to a person who is pro-choice. First of all, they do not see their decision as killing a baby. They see it as preventing a baby from being born. The difference may seem "tomato/ tomatoe" but it is that sliver of mercy that justifies their actions. Empathy is what these mothers need; it is called a "difficult decision" for a reason. They are not debating that. These women need healing too, and just as often, so do the men. It is too easy to look at people who use contraception, have abortions, are pro-choice and think, They are taking the easy way out. They are not taking responsibility for their actions. But you too are doing that if you allow yourself to think this way: you are guiding your thoughts to not be loving. You are not actively seeking their best interests if you so easily dismiss people. Do not let other people's mistakes be your downfall.

3. No yelling, ever.

Who likes being yelled at? Does that make you listen better to other people's arguments? I don't think so. (This includes yelling over social media, peeps.)

4. No judging why a person is pregnant, no matter how old or the circumstances around it

Can you imagine becoming pregnant when you were not trying, and not in a supportive environment? That sounds terrifying to me. I can't imagine how I'd react if my husband did not want our child, or my family shunned me. These are realities many, many, many people face. If we truly believe every baby is a gift, then we must act respectful and supportive to all moms, and let them know they are "wanted" as well as their child. Many women and men are not blessed with having excellent chastity education (or any at all!) which teaches them to value their bodies (and others). Instead, many retaliate against any feelings of unjust shame or curiosity by "taking control of their sexuality" by being sexuality active. This is different than understanding one's fertility, and both are important to learn.

  Be merciful, then, as your Father is merciful. Judge nobody, and you will not be judged; condemn nobody, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and gifts will be yours; good measure, pressed down and shaken up and running over, will be poured into your lap; the measure you award to others is the measure that will be awarded to you. (Luke 6:36-38)

  5. Helping and befriending the moms

These moms are scared. Bringing a baby into the world is a huge responsibility, whether or not the mother chooses to raise it or offer it for adoption. Heck, I was scared when I first realized I was pregnant, and I was married and in a stable, loving relationship with a supportive family. My parish priest told me that it was okay to be scared - Mary was certainly frightened when the angel came to her with the message that she had been chosen to carry the Son of God. This is why he said, "Be not afraid!" This is why her "Yes!" to the Lord is so significant - she was taking on another human life to nourish and love and bring into this world. This is no small feat.

 Helping and befriending these moms means supporting them emotionally and physically (hello diapers and wipes!), and hopefully, spiritually. If the mom decides to keep her child, she is making a life sacrifice. If a mom decides to give her baby up for adoption, she is making another sacrifice - after carrying her baby to term, she may never see that child again, but always wonder what he/she is up to in the world. This is an ache no water can quench.

 Volunteering at crisis pregnancy centers is an excellent way to support mothers: and if counseling is not your strong suit, there is still plenty of work to do in sorting, office management, answering phones, and helping the other workers.

 The most important thing we can do in this world is love our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ - this is not a suggestion either, but a command. We love and learn humility, learn meekness, learn sacrifice. Let us help each other get to Heaven, especially those who need God the most.  

Any more suggestions, dear readers?

[Originally posted at Ignitum Today]

Post of Shame

Last Sunday, my husband asked me if I was still doing 7 Quick Takes... which shamed me into not waiting till the last minute to blog, per my usual route.

This one is for all my fellow slackers! (Thanks to Jen for hosting!) Some awesome reads:

ONE

"When you're born, you don't really know what you're getting into," a resident of mine observed. "I'm not sure how I would have reacted if I had known I would be a 98-year-old old maid in a nursing home."
I knew what she meant. "Yeah," I said, "If I had known what I was getting into, I would have quit then and there."
"Don't quit!" Eula suddenly responded, "If you quit, who will help me get into bed?"
Somehow those unexpected words--spoken in a state of mild confusion--cut me to the quick.

Bethanie Ryan at Sacred Dignity, "Don't Quit!"

TWO

But Jesus in the confessional is not a dry cleaner: it is an encounter with Jesus, but with this Jesus who waits for us, who waits for us just as we are. “But, Lord, look ... this is how I am”, we are often ashamed to tell the truth: 'I did this, I thought this'. But shame is a true Christian virtue, and even human ... the ability to be ashamed: I do not know if there is a similar saying in Italian, but in our country to those who are never ashamed are called “sin vergüenza’: this means ‘the unashamed ', because they are people who do not have the ability to be ashamed and to be ashamed is a virtue of the humble, of the man and the woman who are humble.

Pope Francis, as reported by Vatican Radio - "Pope: Shame is a true Christian virtue"

THREE

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

The quote on the left is from President Obama's address to this year's graduates at OSU... as telling as when he told the press (at the White House Correspondents' Dinner) that he prefers to get his news from whitehouse.gov! Which, as we all know, is as trust-worthy as Jay Carney himself.

FOUR

We live in a country where if a six-months-pregnant woman started downing shots of vodka in a bar or lit up a cigarette, people might want her arrested. But that same woman could walk into an abortion clinic, no questions asked, and be injected with a drug that would stop her baby’s heart. 

I’ll put my cards on the table: I think life begins at conception and would love to live in a world where no women ever felt she needed to get an abortion. However, I know enough people who are pro-abortion rights—indeed, I was one of them for most of my life—to know that reasonable and sincere people can disagree about when meaningful life begins. They also can disagree about how to weigh that moral uncertainty against a woman’s right to control her body—and her own life. I have only ever voted for Democrats, so overturning Roe v. Wade is not one of my priorities. I never want to return to the days of gruesome back-alley abortions. 

But medical advances since Roe v. Wade have made it clear to me that late-term abortion is not a moral gray area, and we need to stop pretending it is. No six-months-pregnant woman is picking out names for her “fetus.” It’s a baby. Let’s stop playing Orwellian word games. We are talking about human beings here. 

How is this OK? Even liberal Europe gets this. In France, Germany, Italy, and Norway, abortion is illegal after 12 weeks. In addition to the life-of-mother exception, they provide narrow health exceptions that require approval from multiple doctors or in some cases going before a board. In the U.S., if you suggest such stringent regulation and oversight of later-term abortions, you are tarred within seconds by the abortion rights movement as a misogynist who doesn’t “trust women.”

Kirsten Powers at The Daily Beast, "Abortion Rights Community Has Become the NRA of the Left"

FIVE

My "baby" sister's May Crowning was this past Tuesday! I just love these songs:



"Oh Mary, we crown thee with blossoms today! Queen of the angels! Queen of the May!"


"You were chosen by the Father. You were chosen for the Son. You were chosen from all women, and for woman shining one... Teach us wisdom, teach us love."

SIX

For everyone having a tough day, week, month, year...

SEVEN

My bebe is gettin' so big!

13.6 cm and 12 oz.!

Happy Friday y'all!!! I hope you enjoy it and all of life's little blessings -- in disguise and otherwise!

Gosnell and the Reality of Born-Alive Infants

A documentary on the man and the facts of his crimes. If anything, listen to the witness of the women. The testimonies of the African American community are also very moving:



More stories:
The Catholic World Report: When “the Silent Scream” isn’t silent anymore
USA Today: Philadelphia abortion clinic horror: Column
First Things: A Missed Opportunity That Will Still Be There Tomorrow

Pray for Dr. Gosnell, pray for those who worked for him (especially strength and courage for the ones testifying and are also being convicted), pray for those affected, pray for the innocence and innocents taken.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Is Cultural Conflict Inevitable?

The Editors of The New Republic published "The Increasingly Disturbing War Against Women’s Rights" last Friday, where they lamented, "It’s hard to pinpoint where the current upsurge in dismissive rhetoric about women’s rights began. Anti-abortion sentiment has long been a staple of right-wing politics, of course."

Well, at least since 1973.

Further down the page, they said,

We would all prefer to live in a world without deep conflicts over cultural issues. But that is not the world in which we live. Over the past generation, women have gone from being second-class citizens to being full and equal partners in American life. The ability of women to make their own reproductive decisions—on both birth control and abortion—has been a central part of this revolution. Defending and expanding on these gains should not be a side-issue for liberals: It is a core component of our political philosophy. If conservatives are going to pursue a rollback of women’s rights, then there must be no doubt that liberals are prepared to make a strong and unambiguous stand.

I, too, would prefer to live in a world without deep conflicts over cultural issues. I cannot think of many people who find glee in polarizing themselves from other human beings over belief systems, much preferring the common ground.

But perhaps our table manners end there. Citizen rights in this country revolve around three declarations of the right to life, the right to liberty, and the right to pursue happiness. No one has the right not to be accountable for their actions, be it financial or social or moral. Accountability is a trust that one person is not going to harm another person, be it emotionally or physically.

In this case, artificial birth control and abortions are naturally violations of the right to life clause. Furthermore, I am disturbed that abstinence is so poo-poo'd as an acceptable possibility, or that the many types of natural birth control (e.g.Natural Family Planning) which help women both achieve and avoid pregnancy using the natural rhythms and ovulation cycles of their body, are not widely discussed as viable alternatives.

While it is true that sex is not only for reproduction, but it can never exclude it. To suppress a woman's reproductive abilities is to deny a woman the only leverage she has over a man: her body can nurture the baby created within, and her body can give birth to the child. A man can only give so much, while the woman becomes the embodiment of love and creation for that little being.

If women wish to suppress their reproductive abilities, that is their private business. But expect a public backlash. Expect people not wanting to pay for medicine for others, especially if the drug conflicts with consciences and is for an otherwise healthy patient. Expect people, who see the life within the womb as something precious and with dignity, to not stand by as the mother expresses willingness or want to kill her child.

As Thomas Becket says in T.S. Eliot's 'Murder at the Cathedral,' "You argue by results, as this world does,/ To settle if an act be good or bad./ You defer to the fact. For every life and every act/ Consequence of good and evil can be shown."

I, too, am tired of the cultural divide. My fingers grow weary as I type this. I am currently reading The Hunger Games, and it makes me wonder if anyone today would say it is okay for the government to force people to fight to their death for the sake of entertainment. One person's life may seem expendable, but what of your own? How can you argue against another person's life while valuing your own? How unjust? How heartless! How illogical!

March for Life Mass at the Verizon Center

I weary of the abortion debate and I weary of my government and its HHS mandate, claiming the higher moral ground of "women's rights" and like. Only fools use brute force to convince the masses. Because I will never be convinced that abortion is right, or a right. What are those mothers-to-be so afraid of? How can such a small babe bring so much terror that they must first be eliminated? How the unknown is unnerving.

Women, join the cause! Speak out! Offense will be made. It simply is no longer personal. It's not condemning women; it's redeeming the sacredness of the body, and it is pro-women if we save the life of more women by allowing them to be born. At center stage, it does not matter how many sexually-active Catholic women have used birth control. Life is not a numbers game. We owe our loyalty to God's law and should not pledge allegiance to misguided words. We follow a higher law and over 2,000 years of wisdom.

Professor Helen Alvare of George Mason University is looking for women in the personal and professional spheres to send her your name, city, state to add to her open letter to Congress, in defense of our first amendment Constitutional rights. This issue is not only about Catholicism's stand against any degradation of life-- it is about protecting and upholding our country's Constitution.

Please see the letter below:

OPEN LETTER TO CONGRESS AND THE WHITE HOUSE 

DON’T CLAIM TO SPEAK FOR ALL WOMEN 

We are women who support the competing voice offered by Catholic institutions on matters of sex, marriage and family life. Most of us are Catholic, but some are not. We are Democrats, Republicans and Independents. Many, at some point in their career, have worked for a Catholic institution. We are proud to have been part of the religious mission of that school, or hospital, or social service organization. We are proud to have been associated not only with the work Catholic institutions perform in the community – particularly for the most vulnerable -- but also with the shared sense of purpose found among colleagues who chose their job because, in a religious institution, a job is always also a vocation. 

Those currently invoking “women’s health” in an attempt to shout down anyone who disagrees with forcing religious institutions to violate deeply held beliefs are more than a little mistaken, and more than a little dishonest. Even setting aside their simplistic equation of “costless” birth control with “equality,” note that they have never responded to the large body of scholarly research indicating that many forms of contraception have serious side effects, or that some forms act at some times to destroy embryos, or that government contraceptive programs inevitably change the sex, dating and marriage markets in ways that lead to more empty sex, more nonmarital births and more abortions. It is women who suffer disproportionately when these things happen.
No one speaks for all women on these issues. Those who purport to do so are only attempting to deflect attention from the serious religious liberty issues currently at stake. 

Each of us, Catholic or not, is proud to stand with the Catholic Church and its rich, life-affirming teachings on sex, marriage and family life. We implore President Obama and our Representatives in Congress to allow religious institutions to continue to witness to their faith in all its fullness. 

Helen M. Alvaré
Associate Professor of Law

The culture divide is great. Let us pray and persist!

In addendum: As the cultural divide is great, so is the range of writing. A reminder to keep conversation civilized and truth-seeking.

‎"Nothing is more certain than that our manners, our civilization, and all the good things which are connected with manners, and with civilization, have, in this European world of ours, depended for ages upon two principles; I mean the spirit of a gentleman, and the spirit of religion." --Edmund Burke, as quoted by Russell Kirk

Et tu, Santorum?

Friends, Catholics, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury our Catholic presidential hopefuls, not praise them.

That is, not literally bury them, but submit an argument thatthose who are Catholic in faith only and not action are not fit to lead America.

I am speaking, of course, specifically about former Speaker of theHouse Newt Gingrich and Senator Rick Santorum. Both respectable men, decent men even, but not presidential material. True, they’re more Catholic than the late President Kennedy, this country’s first Catholic president, but that gives them few points in my book.

The big sticking point for many conservatives is their pro-life stance. Another is their support of marriage between a man and a woman. This is something I strongly support as well, but the way both men wish to go about it is wrong, and why I cannot endorse either for the presidency.

Thomas Peters wrote in the Washington Post,

On the question of the definition of marriage, Gingrich has distinguished himself inhaving zero patience for activist judges who attempt to redefine marriage unilaterally. He supports a federal marriage amendment and the Defense of Marriage Act.

Santorum also supports federal mandates for marriage, and said during the October 18th Republican debate that "the 10th amendment [is] running amok":



Read more at Creative Minority Report >>>>>>>

Logic, Science and History Prevail!

I came across an amazing documentary called "180" paralleling the Holocaust and abortion. It is produced by Living Waters, a ministry run by Ray Comfort. Comfort was born a Jew, and, while he still identifies himself as such, is an Evangelical Christian pastor in California. Comfort begins the movie by discussing with people what they would do if in the kind of situations Nazi-occupied Germany put citizens in on a regular basis, and moving towards bigger life-centered questions of valuing all human life, or just some. It is well-worth a watch or two:



The Judgement Day portion was a little heavy-handed, and looking over Comfort's personal website and theology, I do not agree with many of his stances. For one, evolution may be a theory, but it is certainly a viable one on a micro-level, especially since we believe all things are possible with God! Nonetheless, Comfort seems to me to be a fantastic human being and follower of Christ, forwarding our Lord's message and commandments in this world. Living Waters has done a fantastic job with this production, and it well-deserves much praise and publicity.

The website is 180movie.com and heartchanger.com; the Facebook page is 180moviecom; the Twitter account is @180movie with a #180movie hashtag. The movie premiered on September 26, 2011 and has already been viewed over a million times! The film is offered for free on the website for sharing and viewing. They also welcome feedback.

Continue reading at Virtuous Planet >>>>>>>

The Logic of Personhood

Saturday is my Dad's birthday. He'll be 51 years old and he has demanded cherry pie at every meal because it is both his birthday AND the Rapture (supposedly, although Catholics don't believe in that). Cherry pie, the Robison family ambrosia, is divine. Since my cherry pie conversion during childhood, I am wholly convinced pie is the best way to eat fruit.

Dad, about 18 years ago, and one of my younger brothers

My Dad was born 3 months early in 1960, which apparently was not the time to be a preemie. They didn't know if he would live past infancy, but I suppose I just blew the punch line. Dad is still around, and for that, all who know him have richer lives.

But what if they had let him die, because he came too early? What if my grandmother hadn't wanted him? What if Dad had grown up to be a horrible person? What if I despised my father? Could I wish he had never been born, and thus render my own life non-existent? What if my father was a vegetable right now, or had to be changed like a baby every day? He might be that way one day. Would that render him any less of a person? Would he be a lebensunwerten Lebens - a life unworthy of life?

I read a book review this morning by Shelia Liaugminas (from the wonderful MercatorNet) of The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God by Michael Pakaluk. The title of the review is "Pro-choice atheist to pro-life activist" and has been endorsed by both Michael Novak and Peter Kreeft, who knew the couple personally. Besides the gorgeous use of Graham Greene in the title of the book, I was immediately sucked into the "clarity of logic and reason, and the beauty of truth" of Ruth Pakaluk's story, the now deceased wife of Michael. He wrote,

The core of Ruth’s argument about abortion and human rights may be summarized in this way: Human rights are rights that pertain to us simply in virtue of the fact that we are human, not for any reason above and beyond that; the fundamental human right is the right to life, and so, if that right is denied, then all human rights are in effect denied; the thing growing in the mother’s womb is surely alive (otherwise it would not need to be killed by an abortion), and it is human; thus, to deny that the thing growing in the mother’s womb has the right to life is to deny that anyone has any human rights whatsoever. 

Once, an interviewer of a student newspaper at a university where she was debating asked her, “So, it’s not a legal argument you are making but a humanistic argument?” Ruth replied, “It comes from this idea: either you think all human beings are equal, and you don’t kill each other, or you don’t. I have always seen abortion as an issue where you should not need to believe in God in order to be against it. If anyone wants to say human rights exist or that all human beings are equal, those statements are tautologous with ‘Abortion is wrong.’”

The book has been compared to both C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed and Sheldon Vanauken's A Severe Mercy, and I am beyond interested in reading this book. (For those who remember my New Years' Resolution of purchasing no more than THREE [sob] books a month, I've already decided to buy Christopher Dawson's the Formation and Division of Christendom books, and will add this incredible looking read alongside the pair!)

Earlier this week, I was struck by a comment left on Stacy Trasancos (of Accepting Abundance)'s blog. Stacy holds a Ph.D. in Chemistry and is a convert to Catholicism. I enjoy her blog immensely because of how much she continues to engage science, theology, logic and reason. She has a series called "Defending Personhood." Her latest one is titled "Defending Personhood: The Dangerous Womb."

One of her commenters wrote, "Now, you know that I struggle a bit with whether or not the embryo is a person. I will say that it is a human being, but I am still not entirely sure that it is in fact a person. However, the pro-choice viewpoint seems to be: don't question whether or not it is a person--if you don't want it, make sure you kill it before it definitely is. And that is a viewpoint that I have a really hard time with."

Fabulous sign in Ireland (the Motherland)

I had a hard time with this thought process. What is the difference between an embryo [an unborn human baby, specifically in its first 8 weeks] being human being and a person? Are they not the same thing? And why would that difference matter enough to distinguish?

I'm continually baffled at people's refusal to recognize the sacredness of every life and/ or not take medical facts at face value-- except, of course, with the idea that something could be gained by not admitting personhood. Considering how many babies are miscarried, for example, it seems a miracle in itself that fetuses reach full development and life outside the womb.

I was recently introduced to one of my new favorite pro-life defenses. "The Abortion Debate: A Reasonable, Scientific Pro-Life Argument" by blogger The Humble Libertarian, who states the obvious: nothing is created at birth. He writes,

Thus, it is an error to claim, "It's not a human, it's a fetus." That would be like saying, "It's not a human, it's an infant," or, "It's not a human, it's an adolescent." These are category fallacies. The proper answer to these assertions would be, "Sure it's a fetus, sure it's an infant, and sure it's an adolescent. It's a human fetus, a human infant, and a human adolescent." These are simply stages of development in the human life cycle. 

A human starts as an embryo, becomes a fetus, is born an infant, develops into a child, grows into an adolescent, matures into adulthood, and eventually dies. Scientifically and philosophically, there is no good reason to believe a human being is created at birth, because nothing is created at birth. At birth, a fetus simply changes location and changes its mode of acquiring food and dispensing waste, but at no point does it become something entirely new or different. Life begins at conception and proceeds through its stages until death. From the moment of conception, the unborn are human beings.

When President Obama says defining a person is above his pay grade or shows his support of abortion as a valid option, or when people demand better healthcare, but squirm under the pressure of saying who is a human person worthy of life and then attach a price tag to the care of the young, the sick and the elderly like cattle at the market, I am reminded of the opening of Wendell Berry's essay "Life Is a Miracle," in which he says,

It is clearly bad for the sciences and the arts to divided into "two cultures..." It is bad for both of these cultures to be operating strictly according to "professional standards," without local affection or community responsibility, much less any vision of an eternal order to which we all are subordinate and under obligation. It is even worse that we are actually confronting, not just "two cultures," but a whole ragbag of disciplines and professions, each with its own jargon more or less unintelligible to the others, and all saying of the rest of the world, "That is not my field."

Do we the people no longer have the credentials of existing? Can we no longer claim the higher grounds of humanity? Are we not all encapsulated by the Emily Dickinson poem "I dwell in possibility"? When did we relinquish our dignity as human beings and persons, and what are we left with? How can we want for a better world, or fight for any kind of rights, if humans are disposable goods, with some worth nurturing, some worth not... No! We were made by a merciful and generous God who created us out of Love and for love, who said, "It is necessary that you exist." To say otherwise is hateful, and we humans are better than hate, because we are capable of true love and we have the intellect to not only recognize another's inherent dignity and worth, but respond and appreciate such a gift that is life.
‎
In book XXII of Homer's The Odyssey, it says, ‎"Rejoice in your heart...No cries of triumph now./ It's unholy to glory over the bodies of the dead./ These men the doom of the gods has brought low,/ and their own indecent acts."

I was reminded of this bit when I wrote my TIC piece on 'Of Gods and Men' and Osama bin Laden's death: "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

Here is the trailer for 'Of Gods and Men' -- I know it's had limited showings here in the States, but if you have the chance to see it, do:



Have a blessed weekend! I'm glad y'all exist.

Evil Don't Look Like Anything

Week Two: Contraception

"Evil Don’t Look Like Anything" by Julie Robison
"Beyaz Yourself" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day
"Wearing Crucifixes and Condoms" by Trista at Not a Minx

This is the second post of a Lenten blog post series called "Bright Maidens". We three are from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. We're here to dispel the myths and misconceptions- please join us for the discussion!

Today's blog carnival is hosted by Fire of Thy Love

This week’s discussion of contraception is not a judgment of people who take it, or meant to belittle or dismiss its helpful medical benefits. But it is false to claim that most women currently on hormonal birth control are not on it to prevent pregnancy, and it is folly to defend any contraceptives as a safe way to have sex.

First of all, sex isn’t meant to be safe. Holding hands is safe. Sex is supposed to be exciting and the ultimate sign of love and commitment between two spouses in the marital bed. Sex is a risk; every act of love may result in a new creation. Sex is a bond, physically and emotionally. Contraception attempts to take away all the risk, lessen the bond, and leave the sensual excitement. There is no longer a need for commitment, just mutual consent.

At the beginning of this year, I was assigned to write an article for Our Sunday Visitor on a poll sponsored by Human Life International America and done by the polling company inc./ Women’s trend. I thought it was going to be very cut and dry. The teleconference press conference was a half hour, and I was the only journalist who asked any questions. Total weak sauce on the side of the journalists; the information was fascinating and the women speaking were fabulous—like Dr. Angela Lanfranchi, a breast cancer surgeon and co-director of the Sanofi Aventis Breast Cancer Center at the Steeplechase Cancer Center.

She said, “It’s long been known that estrogen/ progestogen combination drugs such as the pill does cause breast cancer. In fact, in 2005, the International Agency for Research on Cancer, which is part of the World Health Organization, put it as a Group I carcinogen.”

From what I've read by the Mayo Clinic (Dr. James R. Cerhan, 2006), the question of this connection between hormonal birth control and breast cancer should not even be a question any more. But I've now discussed it with multiple friends in med school and found other results. My mom is a cancer specialist too, and this topic has fascinated me since high school. I had only heard snippets of this growing up, mostly concluding in “inconclusive results.” But did y’all know that a woman’s risk for breast cancer is increased by 52 percent if she takes the pill for four years before her first pregnancy? The National Cancer Institute, according to its Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results data, shows a 400 percent increase in non-invasive (“in situ”) breast cancer in premenopausal women since 1975!

And this poll, which surveyed over 800 women between the ages of 15 and 44, revealed that only 19 percent knew about the links to breast cancer. Of those participants, 3/5 admitted to using birth control to avoid pregnancy. My article, "Most women unaware of birth control pill health risks, poll finds," continues to be republished in newspapers, the latest being San Diego's Southern Cross. The research I did for it, the people I talked to and encountered, not only changed my perception and understanding of contraception, but my attitude of its noxious hold on society and the pedestal it arrogantly enjoys.

Even before this article, I had done a lot of research on the family and family planning for my senior thesis on the degradation of the family with the expansion of government (focusing on the black American family and the Moynihan Report). Did you know that the black community saw the work of government-sponsored Planned Parenthood as an attack on the black community for decades? As they rightly should have- it's an unfortunate part of American history that the black community was targeted by "family planning" centers to lessen the amount of black people.

Even today, it was recently released that, in New York City, 41 percent of pregnancies ended in abortion in 2009. According to the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, that’s 87,273 abortions. More than half of those were black babies. And that is only one major city, in one country. This is happening all over the world, to babies of all colors!

Which brings us back to contraception: yesterday evening, at RCIA, we talked about temptation and sin. The thing about temptation is that the Devil is taking something good and twisting it for his own, malicious ends. Temptation isn't the bad thing- it's how one chooses to respond, in what we do or fail to do.

For example, at one turning point in the movie Down With Love, Renee Zellweger has let Ewan McGregor's character think he was tricking her into bed the whole time, when really, she had him him fooled: 

Then you, the great Catcher Block, would know that you'd been beaten at your own game... by me, Nancy Brown, your former secretary. And I would have, once and for all, set myself apart from all the other girls you've known, all those other girls that you never really cared about, by making myself someone like the one person you really love and admire above all others: you. Then, when you realized that you had finally met your match... I would have at last gained the respect that would make you wanna marry me first and seduce me later.

This, of course, is not how people should date, but Zellweger has it down: marry first, seduce later. Unfortunately, the Devil knows people lean towards the good in this world. So what does he do? He turns people's hearts so that evil appears good, or at least, equal to the good. Because seducing is just as good as marrying, right? This is why free will is so important and our capacity to freely choose the good over the bad. Contraception- which starts with contra, meaning against- is detrimental for sex and the people who use it because of its very purpose, which is to disconnect the physically and emotionally sacred act from the physical and tangible formation of little souls.

Sex while using contraceptives outside and inside marriage (the current statistics say 85 percent of sexually-active Catholics use some sort of birth control) has taken its toll on the very institution of marriage, weakening its foundation and meaning, as well as being linked to health issues like breast cancer, and a substantial increase in infertility, divorce, and abortion over the past half century.

One of my favorite songs is a murder ballad by Okervil River called "Westfall":



The song is about a boy and his friend who kill two girls. The end stanzas are the ones which give me absolute chills, when the band really speeds up and the passion is almost pleading--

And when I killed her it was so easy
that I wanted to kill her again.
I got down on both of my knees and...
She ain't coming back again.

Now, with all these cameras focused on my face,
you'd think they could see it through my skin.
They're looking for evil, thinking they can trace it,
but evil don’t look like anything.

C.S. Lewis said, "By mixing a little truth with it, they had made their lie far stronger." Contraception claims to free women, free them from their “biological repercussions.” But when you compare men to women, they are functionally the same. One's masculine or feminine vocation aside, men and women have very different natures, while retaining the ability to do similar tasks and activities.

The difference between men and women, without oversimplifying the matter, lies in the woman's ability to create (with the man), carry and then give life to another human being. That is why women must defend this gift and calling: bearing children is the ultimate litmust test- it is the one thing men cannot do! They do not have the inner tools for it, medical procedures and flukes aside.

While doing research for my senior thesis, I had the pleasure of reading many fantastic documents like Pope Pius XI's "Casti Connubii". Delivered in Rome on December 31, 1930, this is a very important treatisie on Christian marriage, especially since it followed the 1930 Lambeth Conference, which loosened the Protestants' historical rejection and objections to birth control. I wish I could share more of this wonderful encyclical, but this passage held me particularly rapt:

This, however, is not the true emancipation of woman, nor that rational and exalted liberty which belongs to the noble office of a Christian woman and wife; it is rather the debasing of the womanly character and the dignity of motherhood, and indeed of the whole family, as a result of which the husband suffers the loss of his wife, the children of their mother, and the home and the whole family of an ever watchful guardian. More than this, this false liberty and unnatural equality with the husband is to the detriment of the woman herself, for if the woman descends from her truly regal throne to which she has been raised within the walls of the home by means of the Gospel, she will soon be reduced to the old state of slavery (if not in appearance, certainly in reality) and become as amongst the pagans the mere instrument of man.

This is why contraception, with its outer appearance of helping women and relationships, actually does the opposite. It cheapens sex. It alleviates commitment. Contraception, like drops of water wearing down a stone, lessens the dignity of the human person when used to avoid becoming pregnant. It reduces romance and equalizes love. Even more so, the attitude of an “unwanted pregnancy” attempts to relinquish the newly created child’s dignity. But a person does not have worth because its mother wants it; as the Lord says even when your mother forsakes you, I will not.

Yes, God. I know, my rosary is getting near your ovaries! But people forget that their rights are not more important than right and wrong. People don’t want to be reminded that God’s law is eternal and, in the end, we all must answer for what we have done, and what we have failed to do. Contraception does not deliver people into more freedom, it decieves and corrupts charity.

This, I suppose, is my biggest problem with contraception: it warps people’s minds about what is life and what is not. It darkens the intellect. It takes the grave and moral matter of life and turns it into a gray matter. But anyone who has an abortion or uses contraception admits de facto that sex results in babies. Why else would they use contraception? If it’s actually a clump of cells growing rapidly, you might want to see an oncologist, not an ob/gyn.

Russell Kirk, on the object of human life, said,

Men are put into this world, he realizes, to struggle, to suffer, to contend against the evil that is in their neighbors and in themselves, and to aspire toward the triumph of Love. They are put into this world to live like men, and to die like men. He seeks to preserve a society which allows men to attain manhood, rather than keeping them within bonds of perpetual childhood. With Dante, he looks upward from this place of slime, this world of gorgons and chimeras, toward the light which gives Love to this poor earth and all the stars. And, with Burke, he knows that "they will never love where they ought to love, who do not hate where they ought to hate."

May we all look upwards, without fear, and towards hope in the Lord's already given gift of life. Happy Tuesday, y'all!

He wasn't really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame

Happy Week 14! We're finally in my favorite month of the year: March!

one

I have a huge weakness for Irish drinking songs. They make me really happy because
A) it's a kind of kinship with my dad's side, who came straight off the boat during the potato famine
B) it's a reason to drink and/ or sing
C) do you really need more reasons?

In my family, Ireland is referred to as "the Motherland." Kind of like how Jews say, "next year in Jerusalem," we're constantly promising to make the pilgrimmage back to County Cork. My sister Kato is actually traveling to Europe this summer, so she gets to see the blessed isle.

Irish drinking songs can range from sad songs like "A Pub With No Beer" to more impish woes of "Whiskey, You're the Devil."

Although, I'm a particular fan of "Whiskey in the Jar":



And "Wild Rover" is just great:



This one is more of a spoof and, for a love of all that is holy, take it with a grain of sea salt and be warned it isn't for children's ears. But for us Irish, "Another Irish Drinking Song" by Da Vinci's Notebook is just full of giggles: