I'm a Christian and a Feminist: Come At Me, Bro.

As with any good discussion, we must agree on terms:

What is a Christian?

A follower of Jesus of Nazareth; a believer in his teachings, and a member of his church on earth. 

What is a feminist?

A person who supports women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

What does a feminist believe?

Women should be equal to men, and if they are not, action should be taken to promote equality.

What is equality?

The state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

Are we on the same page? Oh, goody. If you agree with the above, then you are a Christian and a feminist as well. If you do not think Christianity is compatible with feminism, then this is my ladysplainin' to why it's important (even if you don't identify with as a feminist, which is cool, yo).

**

To start, let's start with a brief discussion of patriarchy, defined as a group organized by men as leaders; e.g. a lineage with the father or eldest male being the head of the family.

This is a neutral term. I do not have an overall issue with patriarchy: I believe in Apostolic succession, men as priests, and hey! I took my husband's last name.

There are so many issues I want to cover, but I need to stay concise.

I have an issue with patriarchy presented as anti-feminist. Feminists are not fire-breathing dragons which chivalrous knights need to slay to protect their womenfolk. Nay! Feminists are not a one size fits all group. Their common link is an active desire for the socio-political and economic equality of women and men. This noble cause does not mean all feminists are great people; but every organization needs a few a-holes for humility purposes.

Patriarch who was pro-women? Jesus. If you're a Christian, He's the guy (God) you want to listen to on this:

"Jesus, the founder of the faith, did indeed live in a male-dominated society, but he was radical in how he rebelled against the cultural values of his age. His treatment of women pushed far beyond his society’s boundaries to love and honor women in ways never before seen. The gospels tell of his extraordinary conduct towards women, which takes on a radical nature when considered in the context of the oppressive environment for women in the Ancient Middle East. By looking at Jesus’ actions through the proper lens, I want to demonstrate that Christianity was instituted with a profoundly pro-women attitude" (CJ Curtis, "Jesus and Women: Rebelling against Misogyny", The Augustine Collective).

**

Next: we don't need feminism.

This is probably the most debatable amongst people who see more equality on a regular basis. For me, women got the right to vote less than 100 years ago. As much as we pride ourselves as progressive people, humans actually need at least 100 years for real change to occur organically - even with legislation supporting it.

My big (anecdotal) sticking point for why we need feminism is the blatant misogyny (defined as "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women") which occurs against certain types of women. For example, feminists themselves. We can't accept that they have different ideas, so we call them fat, man-hating cows because that is a scientifically proven way to change a person's mind. And what about pro-life ladies? You mean, anti-abortion, anti-women nazis? Yep. We need to change the attitude and conversation there too.

Feminists have room for improvement too. And if you want to have a conversation, you need to show that you're genuinely interested in the person, not just making a point.

I am a conservative, and it greatly me that feminism is such a derisive idea - how else can we call for the preservation of a culture without the strength of women?!?

**

The elephant in the room/ why people say Christians cannot be feminists: BUT FEMINISTS SUPPORT/ GET ABORTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Yes. And no. But yes. As a Christian, I am against abortions. As a feminist, I am against abortions. I am for preserving and protecting life at every stage - especially little women! Check out the female birth rates in China and India. Our tithing as the Baldwin family is mostly split between the church, the woman's shelter near our parish, and the homeless shelter down the street from the hospital.

Still. As a woman who has been pregnant three times... I get it. I do not agree with it, but I understand why women want other women to have access to abortions. I had three really hard pregnancies, even with all the medicine and support readily available to me. I know women deserve better. I want babies to go to loving homes. Will sees people who should not be parents have a lot of kids and the poverty cycles continue. It is truly heartbreaking. We need more empathy in the public discussion on this.

(And I'mma pause you right there if you start to move toward the comment box to mansplain or momsplain the gift of children to me. I know the beauty, and I know the sorrow, connected with my little human beings in my care. Will and I are dedicated to our children, and we're currently facing a reality that another child right now might emotionally break me because of my PPD. Unfortunately, not all women have amazing and supportive husbands like my own.)

So! Instead of viewing these women as selfish, start viewing these women as scared human beings; start seeing that these women need support and love; start acting like you give a damn about the woman in question; and most importantly, stop blaming the woman for getting pregnant. A woman is fertile about 6-8 days/month and a man is fertile every single day. Mhm.

**

Abortion is wrong. Period. The pro-life movement tries to show that, but as I mentioned before, every movement has the a-holes which ruin the message for others. This is another reason why is it SO important for we, as Christian women and men, to stand up as feminists. We must be seen as allies, not enemies.

Feminists do not all agree. And that is okay. That is bi-partisanship. That is community. As my college friend Hannah commented on this issue,

"I'll refer you to a quote I love from Sarah Bessey's Jesus Feminist:
"As long as I know how important maternal health is to Haiti’s future, and as long as I know that women are being abused and raped, as long as I know girls are being denied life itself through selective abortion, abandonment, and abuse, as long as brave little girls in Afghanistan are attacked with acid for the crime of going to school, and until being a Christian is synonymous with doing something about these things, you can also call me a feminist.”
Because while it should be always synonymous, too often people twist Christianity to support agendas of abuse, neglect, and cruelty."

So, please. Enough with telling women that they should smile and they should radiate rainbows and never fart and look pretty and stop talking and sit down and always ask, Please, sir? Can I have another? Please. Just stop telling us what we can or cannot be. If you, dear reader, value equality, then you are not threatened by strong women. You can handle room for improvement. You encourage women in their pursuits and do not say, Thank God you are not like other women! Oh! NO. To be a woman is a far better experience than the way we dress or act or speak. The beauty of womanhood is in our sisterhood - our feminine genius, our creativity, our passion, our tribal protection of our own, our ambitions and our grit to right wrongs.

Our femininity does not detract from another's masculinity. We are not here to challenge. We are here to be ourselves and preserve ourselves. We are not here to ask permission to exist and have wants, needs and desires, or to serve. Feminism says, We can have all of these things. We can choose. We can choose to be a wife, we can choose to be a mother, we can choose to work, we can choose to travel, and our worth is not dictated by our actions or looks. We are DAUGHTERS of the Lord, and we laugh and dance because it pleases Him for us to be fully alive.

**

My "rules" for this series are short (especially before commenting): this topic is personal and I am currently living in it. This is not an abstract for a dissertation. I do not have 20/20 hindsight yet. I don't need any medical advice, as I keep in close communication with my own PA + Dr., as well as being married to one. My husband and I practice many different types of coping mechanisms as well, which I will write about too. My situation is 100 percent unique and I am writing only about myself. These posts are directed at no one, and still, I am opening myself up to share my experiences. If I can help one person, it will be worth it. Please respect this adult conversation at face value.

**

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What does a Third Babe Need? The Simple-ish Plan

I love interior design. It should be considered a hobby, considering how much time I spend perusing websites, daydreaming and planning for a day when we'll buy matching furniture... then again, matching is boring. Complementary furniture! I like!

We've been extremely lucky to be given so much when Grace was in utero, so she came into this world with a Pottery Barn crib, a lovely dresser that my SIL Ellen painted pretty, a baby swing, a rock 'n play, Aden and Anais blankets (the best, period), and lots of pretty clothes (once we knew she was a girl!). When Laura was in utero, we needed even less quantity and more bulk - she shares clothes, and got a pack 'n play, new carrier (a ring sling to join the beloved ergo), and two double strollers (one jogger, one umbrella).

Now, Bebe Baldwin - my third bambino and my first boy. What does he need?

Need: (v.) require (something) because it is essential or very important.

Clothing, of course, is a need - but how many onesies does one really need? I bought the most adorable newborn onesies for Grace, and of course, she was a girl, so my MIL and Mom began buying her pink clothing ASAP. There is probably something to be said for gender neutral clothing and sharing it... We do have enough gender neutral clothes to get him through the first few months, so I am not even going to put clothes on my list. Plus, as soon as you have given birth, people begin sending you adorable things they find. TRUST ME ON THIS.

{one}

sleep needs

Sharing is caring

• crib
• sound machine
• muslin sleep sack

We are using our extra pack 'n play that Laura currently naps in (in the guest room), so we don't need to buy one to set up in our bedroom, and I already have an extra sound machine that I bought in panic after (temporarily) losing one. Check, check! Since Bebe will be a summer baby, he'll need a light, muslin sleep sack to keep him warm enough. We have one, and I bought him this one too.

I'm ready for my close-up... I mean, diaper change.

{two}

resting and self soothing 

• blanket(s)
• downstairs pack 'n play
• wubbanub

Grace and Laura both have a Baby Starter satin and minky blanket, which they lovelovelove. Unfortunately, they come in three colors: blue, pink and white. I am not buying Bebe (or any baby) a white blanket. Is that some sort of joke?!

I found MEG Originals on Amazon, and ordered this one. It came, beautifully wrapped in tissue paper, and is so soft and lovely. I hope Bebe just loves his new blanket! Our super durable Aden + Anais swaddle blankets are still in use (the girls wrap their baby dolls up!) buuuut maybe I need just one more new muslin swaddle blanket too? (FINE, DEFINE "NEED" AGAIN.) We have two extra wubbanubs since Laura is not taken with hers still.

{three}

storage

Things you think are safe and put away... are never. 

• Clothes storage/ organization
• cute baskets for diaper/ wipes

This is my most vague component because it requires a lot of creativity based on the situation. Remember that this is the THIRD child, but also remember that this family is moving next summer post-graduation and his parents are not super into adding more furniture to our current collection... so I found this, and we love it. Just set it up, still deciding how to organize... baskets, baskets everywhere! They're handy, I swear. I like canvas ones for storage; wicker or seagrass for everything else.

{four}

in and out needs (boring basics)

{We use...}

• Nursing pads - Lansinoh
• Diapers - Pampers 
• Wipes - Pampers
• Stain Remover* - Seventh Generation spray; Biz detergent 
• Vitamin D drops - Enfamil 
• Diaper cream - Desitin 
• Lotion - Aveeno
• Hand sanitizer - Babyganics 
• convertible car seat - Britax
• minivan** - Honda Odyssey

*because newborn baby blow-outs are very, very real

**We actually tried to buy a minivan today, which was an epic failure due to rain, traffic and GHB mysterious throwing up for the first time [during a car trip] ... so FINGERS CROSSED that we can get the papers signed tomorrow. Minivan shopping is one part research (thanks Kelley Blue Book, Car Fax and my MIL), one part budget and one part ninja. We've missed out on multiple van possibilities simply by people buying the car as we found them - but this one is secure for now. Egads! Do not recommend van shopping when you're due to have a baby sooner than later... c'est la vie.

{five}

more help!

My mom snuggling with her granddaughters! 

• Amazon Prime
• Meals
• Babysitting
• Gift cards
• Cleaning Service
• Family visits

What else? Amazon Prime means I can order almost anything from home and never leave... I've heard about grocery delivery as well, which intrigues me. Having babies so far from family and friends is definitely a sad spot for me - it was so different being part of the process whenever my mom had a baby. I try not to be jealous of not having a similar kind of supportive community here in town, but I am very human in this respect. That being said - we are so lucky to have both of our families travel extensively in these last few months (and the months to come!) to spend time with us and help out!

Yay! Aunto Kato came in town after her NYC trip!

Come back soon!

Maybe I can get baby announcements/ thank you cards out on time this third round...? (Hashtag hahahahahaha)

Bebe Baldwin, mama is waiting! I am so excited to snuggle you all summer long. Two more weeks of school - or less! If you come earlier! Wink-wink. 

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30 Days Later: How to Survive a (Hard) Residency Rotation

Saturday was the last day of MICU and, of course, it was the weekend, so Will was the only resident covering multiple floors. He has nurses and an attending too, so it's not like he's all alone - it's just a lot of work for a moderate-high census. Bonus: no admissions!

MICU (medical intensive care unit) is a hard rotation; the hours are long, patient loads are heavy and require a lot of decisions to be made, and oftentimes, people die. So, you can't be mad that he's working late because he's talking to a grieving family. Their whole world is upside down.

For the family waiting at home, the hours feel longer (time moves faster at the hospital when you're so busy!), the routine misses a crucial element and we generally are just trying [to eat well, get the toddler to whine less, get work done, watch less Daniel Tiger, whatever].

Here's how we cope/ survive/ love each other:

{one}

Long Live Routine

OB appointments are typically on Mondays. Therapy is Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Class is Monday through Thursday. Grading and class prep on Friday. Grocery shopping is on the weekend. Laundry is weekend. Mass on Sunday. Because when you have things to do, time passes because it must. It's certainly not living life to the fullest, but we're in survival mode during these long work months since I solo-parent for most of the day/week.

The second part of routine is never letting "us" be taken for granted. It's saying goodbye at 5:30 a.m. and Will fixing enough coffee for both of us every morning so I don't have to do it. It's texting him updates on our day and pictures, so he feels included and keeps up with the girls. I don't expect responses too often - in the morning, he's rounding, and then the day rushes by; but he reaches out when he can to check in with me. It's a big hug and kiss when he comes home, and giving him a little space; it's the girls climbing all over him, even while he falls asleep on the floor during their bedtime routine. For half the month, he was home for bedtime, which was a definite silver lining.

{two}

Let It Go

For me, it means laundry once a week, max. And maybe not even put it away until Will helps me. I'm growing a baby, wrangling two little ladies, and keeping our family functioning. Laundry is not a priority.

Still a clean freak who can't concentrate well when the house is a wreck? Turn cleaning into a game. I feel like this is a the real secret of life.

{three}

Visit the hospital

The best part of this is how excited they were to see him, and how much they did not want to stay still for a picture!

This is one of our most favorite things to do- dropping off a coffee or coke or phone charger... we're lucky to live so close to Will's work, so hopping over briefly isn't a huge issue. It's a big production considering we see him for maybe four minutes max, but some days, it feels worth it. We mostly did this while he was on overnights/ 24+ hour shifts. Some days, it just felt like a game changer. We were all together for a few minutes and that mattered.

{four}

Extra Help

If your budget lets you hire a cleaning service, do it. If your budget means you hire extra babysitters, do it. If family members can swing it, invite them to come help for a week. If friends want to help, let them. Let your tribe help you. Let strangers help you. We're all human!

Special shout-out to my MIL for the week she spent with us, and all her help, which included grocery shopping, toddler wrangling, crisis control with our water heater's sudden clanking, and the fact that she's continuing to minivan shop for us since we can't find anything in our area.

Another reason I need extra help is to help manage my anxiety. I've never had this kind of stress before, and pregnancy has certainly acerbated it. I cry over things I could normally handle, and I'm very sensitive to ... anything. I'm just trying right now. My best support are all far away, so I am grateful for modern technology. It's hard being away from family and friends during times like this.

(It goes without saying, of course, that Will is my total rock. So having him on NICU for the past two days actually feels like a vacation - as a comparison between MICU! I'd also like to add that Grace's six therapists are truly amazing and took time this past month to ask me how I'm doing, check in on us, and even offered to pick up groceries, etc. if need be - we are so lucky to have these women love Grace and us!)

{five}

Have fun!!

Seriously: just do what needs to get done (feed children, pay bills, nap, therapy, class, get outside...) and keep a sense of humor. Some nights, we watched TV for two hours. Some days, we played outside. Always, we rolled with the punches. I learned to cope with a lot of whining ("use your words!") and clingy children who have recently decided that of all their stuffed animals, they BOTH love Cat Cat best. Flexibility is the key to surviving this residency anyways, I think.

It's all pretty overwhelming. Every day was the day I tackled. I didn't make plans. I kept to the schedule and I moved on. And when it was all over, we danced.

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How It Feels: 40 Weeks, 5 Days Pregnant

Well, it feels a bit larger, to start.

Then, it feels like a pain.

A pain here, and a pain there... I've had the lower back pains, the round ligament pains, the tightness across my abdomen, mini contractions (I dislike the term false labor, as if I am imagining all of this)... Plus, I am not breathing well at night, reflux, small appetite and bladder, and have a need to flip over like a pancake every few hours while sleeping when I can (+seriously loving on my body pillow)...

I do not want to rush this pregnancy (Bebe Deux, I get it! It's cold outside!), but today is my second day of maternity leave... and I am using it to work on more power points for my March classes, instead of caring for a newborn. Frankly, it is nice having this time off because I am so burned out and tired. But but but...

I really want to hold my baby.

Will was able to take four days off - today is his last day. He has a big EM test tomorrow, then back to work. I am trying to enjoy today and not sigh a lot. Or get more stressed - we already had our few days of me sulking and crying. Husband is, of course, the best (taking care of me and studying hard? Total rock star.).

Still, we have our good times:

My in-laws are here too!

But more on that later, because they are super awesome and deserve a whole post of praise.

So yes: radio silence, sadly, does not mean I am currently in labor. I am reminding myself that my baby is healthy, growing, and safe. I am cherishing this time with sweet baby Grace. I am (better) learning patience, contentment and perseverance. I am really loving the family time, and increased nap time.

How is your week going?

How It Feels: 39 Weeks Pregnant

So, wicked back pain since last night. Aches all over. I have a hard time breathing only when I am attempting to go to sleep. Oo! Reflux too. Never fails. I feel like a pancake, always needing to be flipped over after a few minutes on each side...

Fortunately, my MIL is here! I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow morning (one day early). Bebe Deux is due on Thursday. I am finishing up a lecture on The Great Depression for my younger kids. It's also inspired me to write a treatise called "The Gold Standard: A Guide For Middle Schoolers Who Want The Simple Complicated Answer"... because, seriously. Raise your hand if you want to read this book.

My appetite is small and my baby is active. I love the end of pregnancy, but I'm very excited to meet my second daughter and hold her close. I've been scrolling through memory lane, looking at all the pictures I took of Grace when she was a neonate. I can't believe how little she was, and what a precious gift I've been given - now, twice!

Bedtime snuggles - I am really savoring these:

GHB is wearing pajamas her Robison aunts + uncles all wore, her mama included!

Will has a big test coming up on February 25, so he is taking vacation February 20-24 to study and spend time with his little girl. I hope she comes earlier to maximize her Dad time! That will be a very precious commodity come March when he's in the SICU.

The unromantic part of this pregnancy is my overwhelming tiredness, especially as I rush to finish prep work/ complete more grading. My brain is not cooperating quickly. Other than that, we're celebrating Mardi Gras up here in the snow drifts!

Celebrate good times, y'all!

In One Month

This weekend, my friend Liesl visited from the D.C. area. It was a good vegging weekend combined with a lot of grading and school prep, and a good friend who enjoys GHB time almost as much as me.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, another day of school, and one month till my due date. Yep, ONE MONTH. I checked in at the hospital and the OB nurse who processed my papers remembered Will as "the skinny resident who brought his own media" ... yes! That's my guy.

I asked for an epidural, skin-to-skin with my Bebe and to preferably not have a room near the nurses' station, since I am a light sleeper and the 36 hours I was in the hospital with Grace was way too much awake time.

Whaaaaaat? Sleeep?! {Days old Grace gets it.}

The one month before Grace was born, I wrote this {previously unpublished} post:

Sometimes, I wonder how I get to each new day. This weekend, I went to bed earlier than usual and I took my Tylenol PM as a pre-caution against being too awake while being overly-tired. 

An hour went by. 

Another hour went by. 

Will fell asleep 5 minutes after we said night prayers, and stayed asleep till around 6:30 a.m. I tried to keep sleeping; at least I was comfortable, wedged between three pillows. But I also knew I couldn’t stay in bed long before my stomach would start rumbling, hurting, demanding food. Or I would have to use the bathroom, again. 

This past week was a breakthrough for me. I talked to Will about my child birth fears. My rational, knowledgeable doctor-husband talked me through worst-case-scenarios (that’s where my mind always goes). I’m a big proponent of modern medicine, but I’ve also never been in the hospital myself. I’ve been there to volunteer, I’ve been there to see my mom after her baby deliveries, I’ve been there to see my mom at work, I’ve been there to visit people, and I’ve been there (well, the medical office building) for check-ups. 

I’m quite healthy. My fertility is healthy too. Will and I had our first meeting with our new Marquette teacher this past week. We’re switching from Creighton to Marquette for post-partum, and I’m excited for this new venture in fertility awareness. I’m lucky. I have no reasons to be nervous. 

My Bambino Baldwin is active to the point that I am convinced he/she is going to join the circus post-delivery. I’m about to start the job of a lifetime; a job I can never quit, a job I’ll find purpose in every day. Even if that purpose is making sure I drink at least one cup of coffee so I can pursue my passions, or whatever laundry needs folding, or just enjoying my baby.

It's very different knowing that Bebe Deux is a girl. It's very different bringing another baby into our family with both parents working, another baby already present to continue care for, and a non-warm climate. It's been a different pregnancy since I'm technically high risk. I did not attend birth class this time around, and my support person is just Will (no doula - even though I really loved having one!).

I have a lot of work to get done for school, and I'm trying to remain semi-optimistic about residency life even though this rotation is the worst, and Will's going to be on a similar one in March, a.k.a. 1-2 weeks after Bebe Deux comes out. (I WILL SURVIVE!)

Survival mode, however, is really where I see my strength come through. I do what has to be done. I ignore what can be ignored. I eat, love and pray to God that I get through till Will gets home, and then I allow myself to collapse. I sat on the bed a few days ago, overwhelmed by my day and Grace's clinging and thought, How will I manage with two?!

Waking up is hard sometimes...

I know I'll manage. I'll manage because I have to: because I'll have two little girls who depend on me, and a husband who needs me. I'll lean back on him (because I need him too), and kiss my little girls for smiles and good days and tears and bad days.

Snuggles make the world go 'round.

I'm not thinking worst-case scenarios this day. I'm not thinking messy, even though life is messy. I'm thinking joy. I'm thinking anticipation of meeting someone who is going to change my life. Change my life the way Will changes my life, the way Grace changes my life, the way Christ changes my life. The radical love of motherhood and calling and purpose and being and doing.

Grace "drinking coffee" and then smacking her lips after...

One month.

My View (vol. 25)

What I am reading: a lot of essays by students (end of quarter approaches!!); Sharing the Faith with Your Child (from birth to age six): A Handbook for Catholic Parents by Phyllis Chandler with Joan Burney

Last Sunday... just the Baldwin babes!

What I am eating: Boosken cookies my mama sent me. The taste of home is so sweet!

Meal Planning: Last week was mostly chicken and sweet potatoes/spaghetti and meatballs/ sides of  steamed green beans and broccoli/ eating fruit + cool whip for dessert. Grace enjoyed her first mandarin orange last night! She definitely preferred the cool whip. (And the Busken cookies that arrived yesterday!)

But this week!!! I am fixing lentil soup (plus ham for Will) of dinner tonight and tomorrow. We'll have spaghetti and meatballs again because Grace will eat meatballs (yay! more solids!), lots of tilapia, cornbread muffins, rice and/or potatoes, and I'll more than likely buy chicken drumsticks for Will. Vegetables too!

Breakfast usually looks like a scrambled egg with cheddar cheese and an english muffin or a bowl of cereal if it is an early therapy morning, plus milk and coffee. Grace always eats oatmeal, yogurt, milk and almost-always a scrambled egg + cheese. Lunch is a smorgasbord of leftovers, yogurt, and lately, pb&jam. Gracie is still into Earth's Best baby food, a colby jack cheese stick, a few slices of my daily apple and milk.

Not totally convinced over the meatball...

{This just in! I read Nell at Whole Parenting, and she is doing a link-up for meal planning! In case any of you need more recipes... because around here, y'all I'm all about the bass- the bass- the basics. My family recipes include: Put rice and water in rice cooker; press "on". Put chicken on tray; bake for 45 min-1 hour at 375 degrees. Cut up broccoli and put into bowl + 2-3 Tb of water - place plate on top and microwave for 3-4 minutes ... yeah: boss.}

A lot of grading to complete this week (my 6-8 graders are turning in their War of 1812 essays on Monday, just in time for me to finish grading their Bill of Rights essay); simple meals, simply delicious!

This week in history: We had visitors!

Trista and Bryan stopped by after a wedding for lunch! Such good conversation - AND they are moving closer to us in the next few months!! {Under 2 hours counts, right??}

Julie, Trista, Bryan

Trista has one of the most beautiful hearts! So blessed in her friendship

My wonderful college friend Tom, his wife Nicole and their sweet daughters stopped by one afternoon on their way home from New York!

The girls were not into more pictures, but we loved it!

My MIL and SIL Ellen were here of course, which was beyond delightful.

Snuggles!

Ellen and I got to consignment shop, and my MIL helped take me care of everything - from putting plastic on the windows to help keep the chill out of our rental, getting rid of meal moths who came to stay last week, taking care of poor Will (who got sick, again - fortunately just for the weekend!) - and still creaming us all in Hearts. Ellen also finished painting Grace's dresser! Isn't just divine?!

Will finished out his last week of OB/GYN on night shift and delivering a couple more babies. I continue to prep for class, nap when Grace naps, grade, try to write, teach presidents three through seven (Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Quincy Adams, Jackson) and keeping the house clean-er. Failed on finishing thank you notes but... I napped and had minimal nausea (taking more medicine these days).

Grace started drawing/ coloring too!

My favorite day of the week was Halloween - Will woke up after his night shift, we dressed Grace up like a pumpkin, ordered pizza, watched Harry Potter (cleaned the house, la la la), and enjoyed spending more than 45 minutes a day with each other!

Getting ready to watch Harry Potter!

Daddy snuggles are the best

Prayers:  My parents flew to Italy yesterday! Prayers for their safe travels over the next two weeks. Prayers for the lonely and broken-hearted; prayers for the financially stressed; prayers for the faith seekers; prayers for the persecuted.

Special prayers for a few pieces I am writing, specifically on children with special needs. It's easy to say, "Grace is going to do great!" (and I firmly believe that- every day, she just wows us with her awesomeness!), but the attitude towards any type of disability is just so disheartening for me.

Especially being pregnant again and now being a high-risk pregnancy because my first pregnancy included a stroke - it is just a different world, and if you ever wanted to really freak a non-educated mom out about her fetus, talk to her as a high-risk patient. My frustration level brings me to tears some days, and as much as I love feeling my baby move inside me, I dread going to the OB office more and more. I have no health problems, I exercise, I eat well, I sleep, I drink water, I take my prenatal vitamins every day and I feel completely patronized every time I go into the office. I am not sure what to do; I've already talked to the office manager.

Next week I am going to: Get my grading done. Not miss my OB appointment. Take an actual belly bump picture!

I hope you're all having a good weekend! I see it is snowing back home... just rainy and cold here! Entertaining ourselves, nonetheless...

Oh, just playing with Dad's phone instead my toys...

Happy Saturday! Happy All Saints' Day today, and All Souls' Day tomorrow! We're going to the cemetery once it warms up to pray for the deceased.

Handling It

If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be my over commitment compulsion. I am constantly saying "YES!" when I should be saying "another time" or "no thank you!"

This has led to happiness, and defeat. For me, it currently leads to stress headaches.

I'm not going to say that's okay, but it is my life right now, and I accept the responsibilities. God gives you what you can handle... And you ladle on the extra gravy. It's human nature, y'all. Never satisfied; just one more bite!

Will tells me to focus on one thing: I'm perpetually scatter minded, or maybe I am just trying to multi-task poorly. So before I go back to dancing with GHB (she's self-feeding more breakfast to the tunes of Taylor Swift) or another load of laundry or prepping for class and whatever else I have to do this morning, I'm going to write about how I "handle it" because, frankly, sometimes I don't.

Life is never going to be easy. Let's just accept this fact right now. It's not going to be easy to make friends, meet people, be successful, feel financially set, be caught up on your work load, get enough sleep, find time for X, Y, or Z. Exercise? It's not easy. It's hard. And it's important for a healthy life. You make time for the things that matter, and you handle the rest.

Do you feel like you're on a hamster wheel? Do you feel bored or lonely? Take an honest look at your life. What concrete changes could you make (and control) to make life more fulfilling?

My biggest stumbling block right now is my nausea and overwhelming tiredness, but I also procrastinate on everything. Not feeling well only enables that. So, while picking up printer ink and paper at Staples this week, I found a ready-made To-Do list notepad. Unnecessary and super awesome purchase for $1.49. On one side, I write down the immediate must-dos. These include taking a shower, drinking coffee, prepping for class. On the other side, I write the day's goals: vacuum, clear off the downstairs radiators, empty and load the dishwasher, make the beds.

I have bigger goals too, like put Grace's 0-9 month clothes in the new plastic bin, and put away my own warm weather, non-maternity clothes away in the second new plastic bin. My office needs serious hours put in so that it is functional more than a very large storage room, and the laundry room needs help too. And even bigger goals! Like finishing all my readings for my classes! Finishing multiple articles I have started! But those are not for today.

Today started when Grace woke up around 2:48 a.m. I went in to nurse her, and normally, she goes right back to bed, but since my supply has tanked, she cried ferociously instead until Will was the Hero and took her for the rest of the night/ morning, because I was so tired, I could hardly open my eyes, let alone take her downstairs to feed her two more jars of baby food.

Will is going to be gone all day - grand rounds, then a shift in the ER till 9 p.m. Today is a day I have to handle it. I have to get Grace to therapy, I have to teach two classes, I have to make sure I eat, and taking care of GHB. I am not thinking about the right side of my to-do list because it can overwhelm me, so I focus on one thing at a time. Right now, I am focusing on actually finishing a blog post, which I have failed the do the past few days.

Married folks, in-between people, and single ladies and lads, I am a full believer in living up and appreciating your current vocation. Don't accept that hardships are your lot. Don't depend on other people to make you happy or engage your mind - but don't push people away either.

Cultivate a community. They may not be your best friends (not everyone can be!), but find people you can depend on, and people you can ask for help. Be there for others in their time of need. Listen to others more. Volunteer your time, if you do have it -- there are so many more people who are desperate for the kind of help many of us take for granted.

I am going to keep today's responsorial Psalm close to my heart this day:

R. (1) Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his mercy endures forever.
Let the house of Israel say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
R. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
“The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
the right hand of the LORD has struck with power.”
I shall not die, but live,
and declare the works of the LORD.
R. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
You are my God, and I give thanks to you;
O my God, I extol you.
R. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

Whatever your troubles are - be they too much time or not enough time - may you find solace in your human purpose and propensity for good, and may you spread love and laughter to those around you. Keep your blessings close and your problems in perspective. Whatever you need to do, you can do it. You can handle this life - and enjoy it too.