Blessings in Disguise

TBM Topic #35: "How to Cultivate a (Truly) Grateful Heart"

Trista, Not A Minx
Liesl, Spiritual Workout
Amanda, Worthy of Agape

Driving to Cincinnati from Indiana on Thanksgiving, Will and I listened to NPR. The Thanksgiving special interview was John Mayer, and the big take-away was how it is hard to be patient. He talked about how one's career may seem lucrative, but no one really sees the valleys - only the peaks. Did you know John Mayer has been in Montana for the past year and a half not singing or speaking in public to recover from throat surgery?

Nor do we know about many people's struggles in life. Too often, we are drowning in our own sorrow. We are too poor, too lonely, too victimized, too ignored, too sad. We cope with this by tweeting about how lonely we are, comparing ourselves to others, wishing for another life and grumbling to anyone who will listen. Why isn't anyone listening?!

Perhaps the question we should be asking is, Are we listening?

When we are handed misfortune, is it really so bad? Or do we think it is worse because it is happening to us? What is God trying to tell us when life hands us a poor hand? That, perhaps, we still hold the trump card? Do we doubt in God's mercy? Do we trust in God's care? Do we thank him regularly, or are we enjoying our wallowing and self-pity?

Our own wretched ungratefulness is realized upon its temporary removal; when we realize that life can always be worse, and usually by our own fallibleness. Still, it is our ability to sin, our ability to be unhappy, which makes us human.

"Love is patient, love is kind" is not a cliche we should dismiss; it is a truth. We must be patient with ourselves: we are on a journey - life is not meant to be stagnant, or predictable, or a pattern. We must be kind to ourselves; we must love ourselves. We must not wish we were different. We must seek to answer the question: God made me this way - what gifts am I giving back to this world? How can I best glorify God in a way no one else can?

We are too unsatisfied with ourselves. This is not to say self-improvement should be disregarded, or that we should revert to our most base instincts, but rather that our critical natures are self-destructive and ungrateful in the sight of God, who made us in his own image.

And it is in loving ourselves - truly - and accepting ourselves the way God made us, and to not complain about all the temporal woes, but finding joy and strength in the challenge, that we become who we are, and we can be grateful for who we are.

"Whenever we take a step towards Jesus, we come to realize that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms...God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy." --Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium

To be truly happy, we must love ourselves as God loves us. We must forgive ourselves as God forgives us. And we must be grateful, truly, knee-bending grateful, for the life God has given us. It will never be perfect, but it will always be full of possibility. It is not our things or accomplishments that we take with us, but our love, our joy, and our grateful heart for all God has given us.

TGIS

It's the weekend. And what a looooovely weekend it's been too.

• My sister Katie is home from Africa today! She's also the birthday girl today. Wish her a good one.
• Carrots for Michaelmas blogger Haley's husband Daniel wrote an awesome response about kids bringing the party to church.
• Rod Dreher asked his readers to recommend 3 books about one religion, and list in order of preference. Here is Leah's response (and more background) and now, here are mine:
• An Affair to Remember by Graham Greene (fiction)
• The Imitation of Christ by St. Thomas a Kempis
• Introduction to Christianity by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI (as Joseph Ratzinger)
• Comedian vs. Smart Phone - the saga continues at TIC. 
• How do you like my new blog look? Because I am actually very happy with it... and I did it! (With a friendly thanks to my friend Kate for helping me with re-sizing the header picture.)
• Talk to me about meat for dinner. What kind of meat dishes do you like? How do you decide? Do you think it's worth buying meat at Whole Foods/Fresh Market vs. "regular" grocery stores? How much of your budget (% or $$) do you allot for meat?

Love so great for a person so small...

And now, an excerpt of a reflection by Pope Francis (as Jorge Bergoglio) on the lepers' encounter with Jesus (today's Gospel is Luke 17:11-19); as found in October's Magnificat (emphasis mine):

Everything in our life, today just as in Jesus' time, begins with an encounter. ... 

We cannot understand this dynamic of encounter which brings forth wonder and adherence if it has not been triggered...by mercy. Only someone who has encountered mercy, who has been caressed by the tenderness of mercy, is happy and comfortable with the Lord. ... 

In front of this merciful embrace...we feel real desire to respond, to change, to correspond; a new morality arises. ...Christian morality is simply a response. It is the heartfelt response to a surprising, unforeseeable, "unjust" mercy... The surprising, unforeseeable "unjust" mercy...of one who knows me, knows my betrayals and loves me just the same, appreciates me, embraces me, calls me again, hopes in me, and expects from me. This is why the Christian conception of morality is a revolution; it is not a never falling down but an always getting up again. ... 

Jesus is encountered, just as two thousand years ago, in a human presence, the Church, the company of those whom he assimilates to himself, his Body, the sign and sacrament of his Presence. ...It is a question of starting to say "You" to Christ, and saying it often. It is impossible to desire it without asking for it. And if someone asks for it, it is because in the depths of his being he feels attracted, called, looked at, awaited...There from the depths of my being, something attracts me toward Someone who looked for me first, is waiting for me first.

I hope you all are enjoying a blessed weekend!

#7QT: Forget Multi-Tasking!

Friday? It's Friday? Again?! (Just kidding, it's Saturday now.) Hi-ya to Jen and Co.!

ONE

I was complaining at my more recent inability to multi-task well, and Laura sent me this:

Thanks for this wisdom, Laura!

Which ties in a bit to the next few...

TWO

Okay, Syria. This has been on my heart and mind so much. Today is the a day of prayer and fasting for peace in Syria. I can't fast, but Will and I are going to confession and mass today.

There have been interesting articles posted around, explaining the conflict in Syria, and it's just tragic. But Syria is not the only place in the world when horrible crimes are being committed against its citizens, and the hubris of our government to think that they have a moral obligation to "right the wrongs" abroad when our own country is crippled by our abortion rates, the sex trafficking happening right under our noses, the ridiculous war on drugs which sounds good but is causing more violence and crime, the callousness towards anyone attempting to live in a counter-cultural way and the want to conform our country to one standard (be it in education or mores) is truly disturbing.

Syria has not attacked us. Syria's peace crisis is not going to be solved by another country attacking them and then forcing them into a peace treaty. The devastation of war in the 20th century are multiple examples of that. In the peace treaties following WWI, the humiliation of Germany (an ally, not even an aggressor) was a direct contributor and catalyst to the renewal of pride in being German, the so many closed eyes to wrongs done by the National Socialist Party and its leaders, and the death of millions of innocent people across the European and Pacific theaters.

Hubris can be a greater evil if we allow pride to dictate our power over others.

THREE

The USCCB has written to the President and Congress, following Pope Francis' call for peace. I haven't yet, but I'll be writing too. Pro-life means valuing ALL LIVES. War is not the answer. The end does not beget the means.

Contact your Congressmen. Let's really start keeping people accountable.

FOUR

Okay, fluffy part now. I am in love with Shutterfly. Huggies gave me a "free book" for being a "new mommy" so I made a wedding book, because the offer expires on September 28, and the baby is due on September 24. No way I could make a baby book before then, and I reeeeally wanted to make a wedding book before the deluge of baby pictures come rolling in.

It came last night.

I texted this to my sister last night. 

I love it so much.

My favorite page with my sister's MOH speech.

She's fuuuuuunny.

They're having another general deal for the end of summer - one free 8x8 book with the code "SUMMERBOOK" - hop on it, y'all!

FIVE

I am a list girl. Before Baby arrives, I want to have my chore list established and my pantry list in working order, as well as our finances and passwords in one location so Will can contribute to the process. On a larger scale, I think this is going to be a big step for me in not micro-managing.

My current list!

Also, on a personal question level, does one ever get used to taking care of the majority of the housework, cleaning, errands?! Will helps out when I ask, but I have to be specific because I don't think he notices a majority of the messes I am obsessing over... Maybe that's why I fit this job description better.

{He can also memorize a ridiculous amount of information and comprehends it all - which I really only benefit from when I have a pregnancy woe or when we're watching a t.v. show and someone has the flu, and the doctor says they're running low on antibiotics, or something like that. Laugh laugh laugh - the flu is a virus! You can't cure it with an antibiotic!}

Another question: I know chores is a constant adaptation to one's surroundings, but how does you stick to your goals? I tend to get side-tracked by other jobs (which perhaps ties into the first part - struggling with multi-tasking!)...

SIX

One perk of an OB's office are all the adorable baby announcements one gets to look at while waiting for the doctor to come in the room. Since my baby is due in 17 days, I've been thinking more seriously on this. I also don't want to wait to see if it's going to be a boy or girl when deciding... I've been thinking of a New Orleans onesie!

I found this one at a local store, Fleurty Girl:

Thoughts? I'll probably keep looking around, and buy one by next weekend.

SEVEN

Fun links:

• Performing Shakespeare’s plays with their original English accent - um, very cool.
• 10 Things I Love About Flannery O’Connor - hearts, glitter and puffy paint galore! Me too, Haley.
• Cormac McCarthy's words matched with music at Literary JukeBox - a side project of BrainPickings; love.

Happy weekend!

#7QT: How To Survive Pregnancy Edition

Happy Friday, one and all! Linking up with Jen and the gang for kicks and giggles.

ONE

I am two months away from my due date, and so continues my saga of roughin' it. Have you ever seen What To Expect When You're Expecting? Hilarious film. All stereotypes, of course, but I really sympathized with the one who got all the symptoms because, you know, I have not had a magical pregnancy.

TWO/ THREE/ FOUR

Now, perhaps you're thinking - no pregnancy is magical! So let me break it down for all the people out there who need to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

First trimester 

Tummy: You're not reeeeally showing. Sowwy.

Feelings: Why do I want to die right now? Or take a nap. A nap sounds good. Bebe, I'm so happy you're being created into a person shape with organs and ears and fingernails, but dang, my body is tired. I am worshiping at the alter of Zofran, anti-nausea medicine, and Preggie Pops - yum.

If you exercise, you will feel better: No, I do not want to exercise. Maybe a walk.

Food: Cream of wheat, plain greek yogurt, steamed vegetables, citrus-y fruit. I lose a lot of weight; my OB is not pleased.

Perks: I can sleep on my stomach!

Second trimester

Tummy: Showing-ish, and then showing some more. Weight stabilizes, though I still weigh less than when I got preggo.

Feelings: Okay, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. (Said ever since my Zofran dosage was increased.)

If you exercise, you will feel better: I tried, and it was horrible. I'll stick with walking and lifting small children.

Food: Lots of fruits and vegetables; still struggling with meat so I am eating my way through Greek yogurt containers. I cannot abide anything baked in cheese or heavy on spices. This makes eating out more difficult than necessary. Pickles are pretty delicious, though.

Perks: I can still sleep comfortably, but not so much on my stomach. I'm actually showing, which I appreciate. It's fun looking pregnant after being pregnant for so many months.

Third trimester

Tummy: Showing!!!!!!!!!!!!! My weight gain is up.

Feelings: HOLY GYMBOREE, BATMAN! My Bebe is moving and grooving inside me. My stomach often looks asymetrical as the baby prefers the right side of the uterus. It is surreal being able to to feel the baby cha-cha, and I am getting more excited for Bebe to be here. Not for the labor part, but we'll deal with details as they get closer. I'm an emotional roller coaster too, but that might have to do with moving away from my family.

If you exercise, you will feel better: Still walking, although it looks more like waddling. Swimming laps, too, like Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea. I sleep better at night.

Food: Fortunately, I'm back on the protein train. Unfortunately, I'm starting to crave sweets. Fortunately, I do not allow myself to eat too many of them. Unfortunately, I had this decision after I consumed a box of doughnuts. C'est la vie. Lots of fruits of vegetables, inhaling Greek yogurt, trying out cottage cheese on my baked potato, and continuing my relationship with bagels/ English muffins/ ciabatta bread. Some days I have to force myself to eat; other days I am ravenous. Weight steady.

Perks: My belly button sticks out like a party hat.

FIVE

Pope Francis, at World Youth Day, on grandparents:

Speaking about family life, I would like to say one thing: today, as Brazil and the Church around the world celebrate this feast of Saints Joachim and Anne, Grandparents Day is also being celebrated. How important grandparents are for family life, for passing on the human and religious heritage which is so essential for each and every society! How important it is to have intergenerational exchanges and dialogue, especially within the context of the family. The Aparecida Document says, “Children and the elderly build the future of peoples: children because they lead history forward, the elderly because they transmit the experience and wisdom of their lives” (No. 447). This relationship and this dialogue between generations is a treasure to be preserved and strengthened! In this World Youth Day, young people wish to acknowledge and honour their grandparents. They salute them with great affection and they thank them for the ongoing witness of their wisdom.

I love our pope! And cheers to my grandparents!

SIX

What is everyone reading lately? I want to get back into Laura Ingalls Wilder books (plus book reviews, yada yada), and maybe Maud Heart's Betsy, Tacy and Tib series! I'm in a nostalgic book mood, so a thousandth reading of Ella Enchanted may need to be in the line up too.

SEVEN

I am posting late, but I am back from eating delicious cajun food at Mulate's with Will and these three awesome high school friends visiting for the weekend!

Happy Friday, y'all!

Post of Shame

Last Sunday, my husband asked me if I was still doing 7 Quick Takes... which shamed me into not waiting till the last minute to blog, per my usual route.

This one is for all my fellow slackers! (Thanks to Jen for hosting!) Some awesome reads:

ONE

"When you're born, you don't really know what you're getting into," a resident of mine observed. "I'm not sure how I would have reacted if I had known I would be a 98-year-old old maid in a nursing home."
I knew what she meant. "Yeah," I said, "If I had known what I was getting into, I would have quit then and there."
"Don't quit!" Eula suddenly responded, "If you quit, who will help me get into bed?"
Somehow those unexpected words--spoken in a state of mild confusion--cut me to the quick.

Bethanie Ryan at Sacred Dignity, "Don't Quit!"

TWO

But Jesus in the confessional is not a dry cleaner: it is an encounter with Jesus, but with this Jesus who waits for us, who waits for us just as we are. “But, Lord, look ... this is how I am”, we are often ashamed to tell the truth: 'I did this, I thought this'. But shame is a true Christian virtue, and even human ... the ability to be ashamed: I do not know if there is a similar saying in Italian, but in our country to those who are never ashamed are called “sin vergüenza’: this means ‘the unashamed ', because they are people who do not have the ability to be ashamed and to be ashamed is a virtue of the humble, of the man and the woman who are humble.

Pope Francis, as reported by Vatican Radio - "Pope: Shame is a true Christian virtue"

THREE

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

The quote on the left is from President Obama's address to this year's graduates at OSU... as telling as when he told the press (at the White House Correspondents' Dinner) that he prefers to get his news from whitehouse.gov! Which, as we all know, is as trust-worthy as Jay Carney himself.

FOUR

We live in a country where if a six-months-pregnant woman started downing shots of vodka in a bar or lit up a cigarette, people might want her arrested. But that same woman could walk into an abortion clinic, no questions asked, and be injected with a drug that would stop her baby’s heart. 

I’ll put my cards on the table: I think life begins at conception and would love to live in a world where no women ever felt she needed to get an abortion. However, I know enough people who are pro-abortion rights—indeed, I was one of them for most of my life—to know that reasonable and sincere people can disagree about when meaningful life begins. They also can disagree about how to weigh that moral uncertainty against a woman’s right to control her body—and her own life. I have only ever voted for Democrats, so overturning Roe v. Wade is not one of my priorities. I never want to return to the days of gruesome back-alley abortions. 

But medical advances since Roe v. Wade have made it clear to me that late-term abortion is not a moral gray area, and we need to stop pretending it is. No six-months-pregnant woman is picking out names for her “fetus.” It’s a baby. Let’s stop playing Orwellian word games. We are talking about human beings here. 

How is this OK? Even liberal Europe gets this. In France, Germany, Italy, and Norway, abortion is illegal after 12 weeks. In addition to the life-of-mother exception, they provide narrow health exceptions that require approval from multiple doctors or in some cases going before a board. In the U.S., if you suggest such stringent regulation and oversight of later-term abortions, you are tarred within seconds by the abortion rights movement as a misogynist who doesn’t “trust women.”

Kirsten Powers at The Daily Beast, "Abortion Rights Community Has Become the NRA of the Left"

FIVE

My "baby" sister's May Crowning was this past Tuesday! I just love these songs:



"Oh Mary, we crown thee with blossoms today! Queen of the angels! Queen of the May!"


"You were chosen by the Father. You were chosen for the Son. You were chosen from all women, and for woman shining one... Teach us wisdom, teach us love."

SIX

For everyone having a tough day, week, month, year...

SEVEN

My bebe is gettin' so big!

13.6 cm and 12 oz.!

Happy Friday y'all!!! I hope you enjoy it and all of life's little blessings -- in disguise and otherwise!

Good Intentions Pave the Road

Yes, it really is Friday. And the last one in April, to boot!

Thanks for hosting Jen!

ONE

My awesome editor at Ignitum Today, Stacy "The Boss" Trasancos, is the best. These past few months for me have been trying, especially from the personal stand point that I've hardly had time to edit/ publish my scribblings - particularly ones I've been asked to do, like book reviews.

She's given this piece of advice so many times, it almost hit me in the head once I realized it applied to me too: whenever one of the writers freaks out because deadline is looming and something else has come up, she tells them,

Don't worry. Life and family comes first.

Huh. That certainly isn't rocket science. (Her Ph.D. is in Chemistry, anyways.)

But when I was feeling bogged down by work and pregnancy nausea and trying to support my husband while we lived an hour and a half apart most of the week, I remembered what she said and decided to give my two weeks notice at my part-time job. It's the first time I've put my new family before any sort of job before (in a big way, at least), and it feels really right. Begone stress!

TWO

Do you follow Pope Francis on Twitter? WHY NOT?! The man is our spiritual leader, and gives us daily tidbits (in multiple languages too!). Today's tweet is: Dear young people, do not bury your talents, the gifts God has given you! Do not be afraid to dream of great things!

Oh, and THIS: 

Totes does: https://www.facebook.com/CatholicMemebase

THREE

Did I say "pregnancy nausea"? Whoops. Nausea so bad I've been on medicine, naps and 64 oz of water a day since February? Okay, yes. I am pregnant!! Here's a picture of me at 17 weeks:

Baby bumpin'.

You can't tell -- as much -- when I'm with all my siblings:

What a good looking bunch!

FOUR

Looking for a super awesome cookbook to use? I highly recommend Cheap. Fast. Good. by Beverly Mills and Alicia Ross. My mom bought it for me when I was first living on my own as a statehouse reporter, but I've really put it to use in married life. The recipes are delicious, they use every day ingredients plus tell you how much it will cost to make per serving, and the authors give tons of newbie advice, especially great for those new-ish to navigating the grocery store on a budget (but also for people in general!).

FIVE

I'm also reading Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman. No, I'm not a Francophile - but neither is the author, which is what makes the book work so well. She was a WSJ journalist who met her English husband on assignment, stopped working for the paper, moved to France and married her beau, and - lo and behold! - had herself some bebes. This book is creative nonfiction and a fascinating study of French parenting. The biggest thing I've taken away is that I will also teach my bebe to sleep through the night by four months, and I can eat sushi and brie if I'm really careful. Yes, my stomach is reading this book too. I really recommend it; read with a grain of sea salt... what am I saying. Read it while eating a baguette!

SIX

That book is also encouraging my love of cheese.

Oui-oui, s'il vous plait!

SEVEN

Reminder that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month! I'll be publishing something by the end of the month, and if any of you have a story or post, please share it with us on the Bright Maidens FB page. Four days left!

Have a wonderful Friday, y'all! I'm finishing up my part-time job work and then I start a weekend babysitting job tomorrow at 8 a.m. The fun don't stop!!

Viva il Papa!

CatholicVote put together this wonderful, short montage of Pope Francis's election. It made me cry tears of happiness, watching my fellow Catholics cheer at "Habemus Papam!" I was receiving text messages from friends all day at work in anticipation of our new pope, and I feel so blessed that our cardinals picked such a wonderful, holy and humble new pontiff.


God bless you, Pope Francis! I am praying for you. I am praying for the world.

In other news, help us trend #lovehimalready on Twitter!