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| The Bright Maidens are hosting a forum on Advent - join us! |
Chivalry is about respect. It is about not harming or hurting others, especially those who are more vulnerable than you. It is about putting other people first and serving others often in a heroic or courageous manner. It is about being polite and courteous. In other words, chivalry in the age of post-feminism is another name we give to civility. When we give up on civility, understood in this way, we can never have relationships that are as meaningful as they could be.
If women today—feminists and non-feminists alike—encouraged both men and women to adopt the principles of civil and chivalrous conduct, then the standards of behavior for the two sexes would be the same, fostering the equality that feminists desire. Moreover, the relations between the sexes would be once again based on mutual respect, as the traditionalists want. Men and women may end up being civil and well-mannered in different ways, but at least they would be civil and well-mannered, an improvement on the current situation.Read more here!
"My goodness ... an imaginative, contemplative, even daring, conservative thinker! I thought Rush Limbaugh had rounded up all you guys & had you shot & buried in a mass grave somewhere in the countryside. Maybe someday the conservative movement can look at itself in the mirror again without shame, thanks to thoughts like yours. I'm not saying I *agree* with everything you wrote, but the quality of thought is so high ... it takes me back to the '60s & '70s, when some conservatives were actually smart, & proud to be so."Not shot and dead in a mass grave, folks -- just preparing for the wedding! 11 days!
"However, writers are wrong to think this. First, language is not chaos. The language they use evolved in a spontaneous order. That language follows the rules of grammar and syntax -- a deep grammar which is instinctual and, thus, genetically inherited; an evolving surface grammar and syntax which evolves more quickly in the linguistic order."--Troy Camplin, "Creating Order, Or Working in Order?"
“Belatedly I loved thee, O Beauty so ancient and so new, belatedly I loved thee. For see, thou wast within and I was without, and I sought thee out there. Unlovely, I rushed heedlessly among the lovely things thou hast made. Thou wast with me, but I was not with thee. These things kept me far from thee; even though they were not at all unless they were in thee. Thou didst call and cry aloud, and didst force open my deafness. Thou didst gleam and shine, and didst chase away my blindness. Thou didst breathe fragrant odors and I drew in my breath; and now I pant for thee. I tasted, and now I hunger and thirst. Thou didst touch me, and I burned for thy peace.”May you seek Truth today! And not just good deals. Happy Black Friday, y'all! Hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving.
—And thanks be to God, Johnny, said Mr Dedalus, that we lived so long and did so little harm.Have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving, dear readers.
—But did so much good, Simon, said the little old man gravely. Thanks be to God we lived so long and did so much good.
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| An original proof. |
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| Who's coming to tea? |
1. Engaged? Congratulations! Start planning now. You're not early, you're late. Get started on pre-cana too; you'll be amazed how that whizzes by you! Also, NFP: learn it, love it, live it.
2. Shop around for vendors. What people say and what people do are two different things; you're paying them, so choose carefully.
3. Be flexible on the "vision" of your wedding. People love this topic of conversation. I have no idea what it means, except that your wedding might not be Pintrest-y enough, and that is okay. Save those mason jars for canning and bacon fat.
4. Every time someone sends you something or helps with your wedding, send a thank you card or just say thank you. If someone offers to help, include them. You can never be gracious enough or thankful enough that these people are supporting you as you prepare for your wedding and marriage.
5. Whenever I get stressed, B. says to me, "I think, at the end of the day, we'll be married." Does that help me with flower arrangements? Does that help me make a decision? No. But it gives me perspective, and that is worth its weight in gold! You're going to be married as well as get married. Both are important.
6. I said "okay!" to my dress. I'm feeling good about the table decorations. I'm glad the church will be decorated for Christmas and that is one less thing off my To Do list: in other words, don't let the details drag you down.
8. If you are a friend of the bride or groom, nothing is going to put them more on edge than presuming you're invited. It is a sad fact of life, but there it is. If you're invited, grand! If you're not, it is so not personal. Weddings are expensive, especially when you're from a big family.
9. Be prepared to disagree with your significant other. So far, I have vetoed "Hot in Herre" and Nickelback from our wedding reception, and B. will not be dressed in a canary yellow vest. Sometimes, I do have an opinion. A very, very strong one.
10. Continue to date your significant other. I can loudly say that I am more in love with B. now than when he proposed (10 months ago tomorrow!). Our communication level is possibly the most beautiful thing we have; there is nothing I cannot talk with him about. We pray nightly, support each other at work and at school, laugh a lot, and plan together. We prioritize the other, which makes wedding planning more of a joy than a burden. I am so happy to do it, as I plan for the big day, just as I plan for our marriage.
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| Us at a good friend's wedding last month |
Sarah Copeland has given readers, beginner cooks and sous chefs alike, another delicious treat. Her first book, The Newlywed Cookbook: Fresh Ideas & Modern Recipes for Cooking with and for Each Other, is a wide blend of homemade and heirloom dishes. She is motivated by the advice of her grandmother, Virginia Edwards Copeland, to "learn to make his favorite things.""There's a moment in a marriage, whether two days or two hundred and twenty-two into it, where you're standing side by side in the morning barefoot on the cool kitchen floor. Everything is quiet but the hum of him making you coffee just the way you like it, with all that frothy milk and sugar. You're stirring his favorite pancakes, sprinkling a few blueberries in the batter, and then it hits you: these simple moments are somehow the best in life. This could happen over a fork fight for the last peach in the jar, or playing rock-paper-scissors for whose turn it is to do dishes. It can happen, and will happen over and over again if you let it. That is the essence of this book."Sarah is a self-described "writer, urban gardener, passionate cook and curator of good living. She is a six year veteran of the Food Network and co-founder (and former spokesperson) for their charitable initiative, Good Food Gardens. She thrives on "homegrown veggies, stinky cheeses, chocolate cake" and her little family, made up of her husband Andras and their baby, Greta."
Sarah gives just enough instruction (though I would have preferred more in a few cases, as a novice), as well as insight into fresher ingredients, preparation advice and alternations for individual recipes. For meals, she makes specific suggestions of what to serve the dish with, be it the wine, bread, or greens.“Work is not only good in the sense that it is useful or something to enjoy; it is also good as being something worthy, that is to say, something that corresponds to man’s dignity, that expresses this dignity and increases it… Work is a good thing for man – a good thing for his humanity – because through work man not only transforms nature, adapting it to his own needs, but he also achieves fulfillment as a human being and indeed in a sense becomes ‘more of a human being.’ (Laborem Exercens #9)The Proverbs 31 woman may be tired, and she is also satisfied. She has “strength and dignity and laughs at the days to come” (Prv 31:25), which directly correlates to all the mentioned work she does. And why is that? Because she has joy in serving others; she “works with willing hands” (Prv 31:13). She is an ordinary woman who respects her husband and has his utmost trust, loves and is celebrated by her family, whom takes responsibility for the running of her household, and knows where she can be of use. She may have worries, but she “does not eat the bread of idleness” (Prv 31:27).
Because, sweet one, you are so loveable and you are so loved. Your parents have loved you since the moment they knew about you and maybe even longer. They have longed for you and ached for you. You are a miracle. And oh, darling girl, this life is going to be so hard on you. People will hurt you and ignore you.I think this is a lovely idea. I only have one married friend couple whom have a baby, and then one of my best friends is preggers and skipping my wedding so she can have her peanut. I just visited the aforementioned couple last weekend, and I have until December for the second - so I think it's time to start writing letters to babies!
You will fail in ways that seem earth-shattering. There will be days when you don't know why you bother. But I have seen through to the other side of suffering and I know that there is joy. Through the darkness of heartbreak and mourning, dawn breaks again, brighter even than before.
Hope, dear one. Trust that there is meaning in life, in suffering, even.When you can't see the purpose, step back to look at the beauty of this world. Sit in a dimly lit room with Nora Jones and a cup of peppermint tea. Keep company with Claude Monet and John Donne. Just once, climb a mountain by yourself to watch the sunset from the top. And when your heart aches beyond imagining, Rachmaninov.
Fight for the weak (I know your daddy will teach you that), rejoice in beauty, read till your eyes hurt (Mommy will be proud), and oh, baby girl, love until you have nothing left. That's what makes life great. As you take on this world, I wish you passion and joy, a cause to fight for, and a home that comforts your weary heart. I wish you a life filled with beauty and laughter and music and simple pleasures. I wish you a love that calls you out of yourself and makes you greater. I wish you an open heart and an open mind and the wisdom to cling to what is true. I wish you strength to endure suffering and loving arms to hold you up when your strength is gone. I wish you loyal friends who challenge you. I wish you peace but never complacency, success in many things but not all, and a life of laughter tinged with tears. I wish you a road that sometimes seems too steep, sometimes too rocky, sometimes too dull, and I wish you the determination to press on. Dear heart, I wish you a wild, mixed-up, terrifying, joyful, confusing, incredible life.
Sweet girl, I love you already! I'm counting down the days.
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| Fiance and me |
Women Defy “We Are Women” Rally Claims; Say Let Women Speak For Themselves
Washington DC, August 18—As some women gather at the Nation’s Capitol today for the “We Are Women” rally, members of the advocacy group, Women Speak For Themselves (WSFT; womenspeakforthemselves.com) are making their own voices heard. WSFT began with an open letter to the White House, Congress and Secretary Sebelius in February 2012, demanding respect both for religious freedom and for an understanding of woman’s freedom and equality that goes beyond “free contraception.” It now has over 31 thousand signatories from every state.
“It defies reason that a few groups could speak for all women on issues of life, family, sex and religion,” said WSFT founder, Helen Alvaré.
“The 31,000 plus women who have signed onto our open letter will no longer sit silently by while a few political figures and their allies insist that religious freedom has to bow to the theory, the ideology really, that the centerpiece of women’s freedom is sexual expression without commitment,” continued Alvaré.
Catherine, a woman in her twenties living in New York City and a signatory, wrote to WSFT: “Out of respect for themselves and others, many women choose to live a life of sexual integrity…Many of my girlfriends and I have found this approach to our sexuality to be freeing, empowering, and constitutive of a deep sense of happiness.”
“I’m a pro-choice woman who respects the rights of other women to hold different views,” wrote another WSFT member Carol, from Vermont. “More specifically I expect the government, in compliance with the Constitution, to protect every person from being coerced into acting in a manner contrary to his or her conscience. The HHS mandates are a fundamental violation of our rights to free speech and religion.”
Hundreds more women wrote to WSFT to express their strong opposition to the message of the Saturday rally.
“Our women come from diverse political, ideological and religious backgrounds,” Alvaré explained. “But they are united in their opposition to a ‘one size fits all’ version of what women really want, particularly a version contradicted by decades of data and women’s experience in the new sex, dating and marriage markets formed by the idea that contraception, with abortion as the backup, is the sum and substance of women’s equality."
Jennifer from Indiana, for example, a signatory to the WSFT letter says: ”Women and reproduction are not things that need to be fixed, medicated, sterilized. To equate women’s rights and health to these things is to do an incredible disservice to the rights and health issues that women do face today.”
“An honest ‘We Are Women’ rally would acknowledge the diverse views held by women. It would acknowledge the science about the decline in women’s well-being associated with the world view this rally represents.” Alvaré says. “No one speaks for all women on these issues. Let women speak for themselves.”They're on Facebook and Twitter, y'all. All I'm sayin'.
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| Does it look like I have a problem speaking for myself? |
1) I'm getting married;Where does one even begin??
2) my betrothed is still in school;
3) I will be the only bread winner for the first half of our first year;
4) Our finances and budgeting are going to have to adjust over marriage, moving and any other life changing events that start to come our way.
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| My parents and their greatest assets! |
From fellow director Peter Bogdanovich:"My own favorite memory of Hitchcock comes from an incident at the St. Regis Hotel in New York in 1964. After some frozen daiquiris had left me a bit tipsy and Hitch quite red-faced and cheerful, we got on the elevator at the 25th floor and rode in silence to the 19th, where, when three people dressed for the evening entered, he suddenly turned to me and said, ''Well, it was quite shocking, I must say there was blood everywhere!''
I was confused, thinking that because of the daiquiris I'd missed something, but he just went right on: ''There was a stream of blood coming from his ear and another from his mouth.'' Of course, everyone in the elevator had recognized him but no one looked over. Two more people from the 19th floor entered as he continued: ''Of course, there was a huge pool of blood on the floor and his clothes were splattered with it. Oh! It was a horrible mess. Well, you can imagine...''
It felt as if no one in the elevator, including me, was breathing. He now glanced at me, I nodded dumbly, and he resumed: ''Blood all around! Well, I looked at the poor fellow and I said, 'Good God, man, what's happened to you?'' And then, just as the elevator doors opened onto the lobby, Hitchcock said, ''And do you know what he told me?'' and paused. With reluctance, the passengers now all moved out of the elevator and looked anxiously at the director as we passed them in silence.
After a few foggy moments, I asked, ''So what did he say?''
And Hitch smiled beatifically and answered, ''Oh, nothing -- that's just my elevator story.''(H/T to my good friend Anna)
There aren't many directors one can identify simply by looking at a brief clip of his or her work. Alfred Hitchcock comes to mind; so do Michelangelo Antonioni and Jean-Luc Godard. Their films, constructed wholly on their own terms, create singular, unmistakable worlds. In America today, there is at least one director who does this too: Wes Anderson.
Whether Anderson is telling the story of a family struggling with ghosts of its past and future (The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited), portraying the absurdist adventures of a Cousteau-like adventurer (The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou), or, as in his new film, Moonrise Kingdom, presenting a tale of twisted innocence, his work is impossible to mistake. His signature is apparent even in commercials—from his classic self-parody for American Express to recent ads for the Korean automobile company Hyundai. Anderson doesn't pander or create market-tested characters; nor does he see the point in cleaning up reality. (Warping it is a different story.)
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| Today's sunset! |
None of this should suggest, however, that all Americans held anti-Catholic views. Some of the most prominent Americans held absolutely no tolerance for intolerance. The most important was George Washington who accepted, without reservation, Catholics and Jews as fully republican citizens. In a March 1790 address to the Roman Catholics in the United States, he stated:From The Imaginative Conservative, "Americana Res Publica: No Revolution":
"As mankind become more liberal they will be more apt to allow that all those who conduct themselves as worthy members of the community are equally entitled to the protection of civil government. I hope ever to see America among the foremost nations in examples of justice and liberality. And I presume that your fellow-citizens will not forget the patriotic part which you took in the accomplishment of their Revolution, and the establishment of their government; or the important assistance which they received from a nation in which the Roman Catholic faith is professed. . . . And may the members of your society in America, animated alone by the pure spirit of Christianity, and still conducting themselves as the faithful subjects of our free government, enjoy every temporal and spiritual felicity."
Another critic of anti-Catholicism was one of the least religious of the founders, Ben Franklin. In the spring of 1776, Franklin, Charles Carroll of Carrollton, and Jacky Carroll (Charles’s cousin and close friend) traveled to Canada in a failed mission to convince the Canadians to join the American cause. Along the way, Franklin and the two Carrolls struck up a strong friendship. After the success of the American war for Independence, the Vatican decided it was time to name a bishop in North America. No bishop, not even Anglican/Episcopalian bishops, had ever stepped foot in the thirteen colonies (or, states, after 1776). Hoping not to offend republican sensibilities, the Vatican contacted Franklin through two agents. Franklin said the man for the job was Jacky, and the Vatican consequently appointed John Carroll as the first archbishop in the United States.
Constitution Convention with George Washington
Despite our post-modern tendency to distort and mock the true meanings of words, America never has been, nor really can it be, a democracy. Indeed, as several founders made clear, democracy was a great evil, necessary perhaps in some manifestation, but not as the ruling element of a balanced government or a stable society. In the opening days of the Constitutional Convention in the summer of 1787, several participants described the havoc caused by too much democracy.
Gerry of Massachusetts lamented,
The evils we experience flow from the excess of democracy. The people do not want virtue; but are the dupes of pretended patriots [“demagogues” in the original; later corrected].
And, Randolph of Virginia proclaimed
the general object was to provide a cure for the evils under which the U.S. laboured; that in tracing these evils to their origin every man had found it in the turbulence and follies of democracy.
My favorite quote, though, comes from Fisher Ames, 1806:
Our disease is democracy. It is not the skin that festers--our very bones are carious, and their marrow blackens with gangrene. Which rogues shall be first, is of no moment--our republicanism must die, and I am sorry for it. But why should we care what sexton happens to be in office at our funeral? Nevertheless, though I indulge no hopes, I derive much entertainment from the squabbles in Madam Liberty’s family. After so many liberties have been taken with her, I presume she is not longer a miss and a virgin, though she may still be a goddess.
Poor Columbia.
And yet, as many Jacksonians wished it to be, the Republic was neither purely a commercial nor libertarian one. Indeed, the American founders crafted not a commercial republic, but a virtuous republic, allowing for commerce and liberty to serve as a means by which man could use each of his gifts wisely and for the common good (the good thing; the res publica).
While not all of the founders belonged to orthodox Christian denominations or even subscribed to Jewish or Christian orthodoxy, they each accepted most of what the Judeo-Christian context and heritage had bequeathed to them. Their understanding of liberty was not the collectivist or primivist liberty of Rousseau or the atheistic and abstract liberty of Locke, but the liberty of St. Paul as described in his letter to the Galatian Christian community, the freedom to do what one ought to do.
For most patriots, one could find the best definition of liberty in the prophetic writings of Micah (4:4), as our own John Willson has reminded us many times. “But they shall sit every man under his vine and fig tree, and none shall make them afraid,” the Jewish prophet had written.
In these understandings, rooted in the classical as well as the Judeo-Christian, the founders wanted to emulate Republican Rome, not Carthage, as another one of us, Gleaves Whitney, has poignantly argued.(Both of the above articles were written by a great American and man, Brad Birzer.)
Your Majesties, Your Imperial Highness, Your Royal Highnesses, Excellences, ladies and gentlemen, dear family and friends, dear Victoria…
Crown Princess Victoria. Princess of Sweden. Princess of my heart. Nine years ago I had the privilege to get to know a young woman with a great sense of humor and a great sense of duty and who was very, very intelligent. We became friends. The more I got to know her, the more irresistible she became. These couple of years with you, Victoria, have gone by in a wink and have been the best years of my life.
There have been times when Victoria’s official duties have separated us. Often taking her to far away countries and continents. I will never forget some years ago when she left for one of her many trips. This time to China. We were going to be apart for a whole month. The night before she left, she got home late after an official engagement and she had many preparations to make for the long month of duties ahead. Instead of getting some valuable sleep, she stayed up the whole night…writing. In the morning after she had gone, I found a box, and in that box, I found 30 beautiful letters addressed to me. One for every day she would be away. This romantic gesture is typical of you, Victoria. It says everything about the loving person you are.
Once upon a time, the young man was perhaps not a frog in the beginning of the fairytale as in the story first told by the Grimm Brothers, but he was certainly not a prince. The first kiss did not change that. His transformation was not possible without the support of the wise King and Queen who had ruled the kingdom for many years and who were full of wisdom, experience, and had good hearts. They knew what was best and guided the young couple with a gentle hand, generously sharing all their valuable experience.
I feel the greatest gratitude towards Your Majesties, the King and the Queen, for your support and for the way you have received me into your family. I think, of course, also of my own family; my mother and father and my sister and her daughters. Mum and Dad, while growing up, you have always given me your unconditional love. You have helped me through wisdom and you’ve helped me gain a strong self-esteem and security with your good values that have guided me during my life.
Today, when we were driven through the streets of Stockholm, we received unbelievable joy and warmth. It is a memory that we will forever keep deep in our hearts. During the years Victoria and I spent together, I have felt a great support from the people I’ve met. It has been very important to me. Thank you.
I have the deepest respect towards my upcoming tasks. Without a doubt it will be a great challenge. I will do my utmost to live up to the expectations that will be placed upon me. I will do my utmost to support my wife, Crown Princess of Sweden, in her important work.
My darling Victoria. I’m so proud of what we have together. I’m so happy to now be your husband. I will do all that I can to keep you as happy as you are today. Victoria, the greatest thing is love. I love you so much.
I would like you all to join me in a toast to my wonderful wife.
The old man swung his head back and forth. The way of the transgressor is hard. God made this world, but he didnt make it to suit everbody, did he?
I don't believe he much had me in mind.
Aye, said the old man. But where does a man come by his notions. What world's he seen that he liked better?
I can think of better places and better ways.
Can ye make it be?
No.
No. It's a mystery. A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not to look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?
I don't know.
Believe that.
--Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian(I do so enjoy that passage. Hat tip to my Southern Lit. prof, Dr. Sommerville!)
Frankly, I’d never encountered a mind like [Neil] Peart’s. In my world, only Tolkien and Bradbury rivaled Peart’s intelligence and intellect. He had seemingly read everything (and, I still don’t doubt this), and his music touched upon all the major themes that meant something deep and profound for me. He knew mythology, he knew fantasy (Tolkien, Bradbury, and others) and dystopian literature, and he knew the great authors of the past several centuries. The world of his characters always seemed very real to me.
