Monday, October 22, 2012

A Fool's Guide To Weddings

I interrupt all debate chatter to discuss a much more exciting happening in my life. Today, I received my first wedding present and it is divine. The first of my wedding china.

Who's coming to tea?
I almost did not put wedding china on my registry. B. didn't want most of the things we have on our registry for practical reasons. I didn't want to have to eat off plastic plates. That wouldn't feel "married"; that would feel like we were roommates in college.

Today is 60 days till the wedding. Yesterday was the two month mark. I think I am still in elation at the thought of marrying B. and denial that I've been wedding planning for the past ten months (not going into event planning in the near or far future, that is for sure) and once I send out those wedding invitations, bam! It's really-really-really happening!

Wedding planning is possibly one of the hardest things I've ever done. To say it's time consuming is an understatement. If you dislike being put on the spot or making huge decisions based on personal preference like I do, this is not the activity for you. If you are addicted to Pintrest, this is not for you either.

Fortunately, I've been blessed with a Type A mother, three sisters, a beyond helpful future mother-in-law, obliging vendors and a need to plan, plan, plan!

Here's what I've learned, and so, without much further adieu, A Fool's Guide To Weddings:
1. Engaged? Congratulations! Start planning now. You're not early, you're late. Get started on pre-cana too; you'll be amazed how that whizzes by you! Also, NFP: learn it, love it, live it. 
2. Shop around for vendors. What people say and what people do are two different things; you're paying them, so choose carefully. 
3. Be flexible on the "vision" of your wedding. People love this topic of conversation. I have no idea what it means, except that your wedding might not be Pintrest-y enough, and that is okay. Save those mason jars for canning and bacon fat. 
4. Every time someone sends you something or helps with your wedding, send a thank you card or just say thank you. If someone offers to help, include them. You can never be gracious enough or thankful enough that these people are supporting you as you prepare for your wedding and marriage.
5. Whenever I get stressed, B. says to me, "I think, at the end of the day, we'll be married." Does that help me with flower arrangements? Does that help me make a decision? No. But it gives me perspective, and that is worth its weight in gold! You're going to be married as well as get married. Both are important. 
6. I said "okay!" to my dress. I'm feeling good about the table decorations. I'm glad the church will be decorated for Christmas and that is one less thing off my To Do list: in other words, don't let the details drag you down
8. If you are a friend of the bride or groom, nothing is going to put them more on edge than presuming you're invited. It is a sad fact of life, but there it is. If you're invited, grand! If you're not, it is so not personal. Weddings are expensive, especially when you're from a big family. 
9. Be prepared to disagree with your significant other. So far, I have vetoed "Hot in Herre" and Nickelback from our wedding reception, and B. will not be dressed in a canary yellow vest. Sometimes, I do have an opinion. A very, very strong one. 
10. Continue to date your significant other. I can loudly say that I am more in love with B. now than when he proposed (10 months ago tomorrow!). Our communication level is possibly the most beautiful thing we have; there is nothing I cannot talk with him about. We pray nightly, support each other at work and at school, laugh a lot, and plan together. We prioritize the other, which makes wedding planning more of a joy than a burden. I am so happy to do it, as I plan for the big day, just as I plan for our marriage.

Us at a good friend's wedding last month

It is thus with a good conscience that I celebrate my wedding china; it is more than a pretty pattern. It is will be used to celebrate holidays and birthdays and days we like to remind our children that they are so important to us that we use the nice plates just because. It is a collection I may one day pass down to a daughter or granddaughter.

They are beautiful, and fragile, and they are ours.


  1. Do you remember what I said (well, shouted, really, and repeatedly) to Sally G about Initiation? "The point is to initiate them. The little things that go wrong? I know the details are important and I'll work to make them perfect but at the end of the day, they're new Kappas anyway." That philosophy has made life so much clearer and it's so lovely to hear your same conclusion in better words! =)

  2. Ah, you had me giggling about the things you've vetoed!! Sorry, B.