Showing Up: Santa and the Saints

TBM Topic #36: Feast Days and Holidays

Growing up, I remember Christmas Eves of past, staring out the window of my bedroom, waiting to see the silhouette of Santa and his reindeer cross over the moon. Then Christmas would happen, Santa would eat all the cookies, there would be family all around, and we'd keep the tree up for another couple weeks, until the approach of Lent shamed us into taking all the holly down.

The real fun, however, was in Advent. The grand preparations for the feast of Christ's birth as we set up the Nativity scene, lit the Advent candles, said our prayers and ate our meals. We celebrated the feast of St. Nick and read from the gospel of Luke. We fixed plates upon plates of white chocolate and festive M&Ms covered pretzels for our teachers.

After watching Bonnie's video, I realized that my holidays I had growing up were minimal on the liturgical living scale and perhaps more focused on Santa and his crew, but my parents taught me the importance of Christ's coming, the story of the Nativity, the unimportance of presents, the gift of gratitude, and a thankful heart.

Santa Does Not Take Away from Jesus

Santa Claus, whether he is in the form of St. Nick the Heresy Puncher or the Jolly Fat Man Who Delivers Gifts, is part of our culture. As Mary (our Lord's mother) is frequently a red herring for idolatry, so Santa is a red herring for a lack of reverence at Christmas. Is it Santa's fault that people sing "Here Comes Santa Claus" and not "Here Comes the Christ Child (right down Christ Child Lane)!"? Santa appeals to a wider audience because of his inherent goodness and generosity. He freely gives presents away to boys and girls of the world -- and it is us consumers who have made him an idol of the season.

As I've written before, I do not think there is a dichotomy between Santa and Jesus the Infant, because they are on two different levels of the season. Santa Claus is part of a child's imagination, the personification of goodness. Jesus Christ is love, and for those who do not know him, Santa Claus can be a gateway. Is Santa a substitute for Christ? Absolutely not. A harmless addition to a Christian feast day which has also become a cultural holiday? Yes. Let Santa be the gift-giver who keeps on giving, and share the message of Christ to help him better permeate the culture.

A Saint's Feast Day = Mini Fourth of July

Think of the holidays, as a country, we celebrate. There are three days of obligation between the start of Advent and the Epiphany: the Immaculate Conception (December 8), Christmas (December 25) and Mary, the Mother of God (January 1).

Other feast days:
December 3 - St. Francis Xavier
December 6 - St. Nicholas
December 9 - Blessed Juan Diego 
December 12 - Our Lady of Guadalupe 
December 13 - St. Lucy
December 14 - St. John of the Cross 
December 26 - St. Stephen 
December 27 - St. John the Evangelist
December 28 - The Holy Innocents 
December 30 - The Holy Family 
January 4 - St. Elizabeth Ann Seton 
January 6 - The Epiphany

First Sunday after the Epiphany - The Baptism of Our Lord (end of the Christmas season)

The saints of Advent are more brothers and sisters to invite to your holiday parties. They have awesome stories to tell, they give assistance in our times of need, and we can celebrate their lives just as we celebrate birthdays, the birth of our country, the birth of our Lord, and new years and beginnings.

The Importance of Showing Up

The shepherds came to see Jesus; the Magi came to see Jesus; the practicing and the lackadaisical go to Mass to see our Lord. And that's important. In Brene Brown's Daring Greatly, she tells the story of her daughter not wanting to swim in the heat her coach put her in; her daughter didn't think she could win, and everyone would be watching:

This was an opportunity to move the levers--to refine what's important to her. To make our family culture more influential that the swim meet, her friends, and the ultracompetitive sports culture that is rampant in our community. I looked at her and said, "You can scratch that event. I'd probably consider that option too. But what if that race isn't to win or even to get out of the water at the same time as the other girls? What if your goal is to show up and get wet? ... Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is show up."

I used to wonder at the end of Harry Potter, when J.K. Rowling wrote that Harry and Dudley sat with each other tersely every holiday, and it's beautiful. Hospitality and the opening of one's heart towards the welfare of others can only be fulfilled when another sees the good in that time spent together.

For many, when it comes to Mass and spending time with the Lord, it can be a struggle. Maybe it's boring. Maybe there's too much singing. But mostly, I suspect, the relationship is weak. We cannot expect to feel a strong connection with God if we do not show up and spend time with him; if we do not pray and talk to him; if we focus on negativity and not on the possibility of falling in love.

The opportunity to spend time with the Lord is here, and Christmas is when we celebrate his entrance into the world as a baby, completely vulnerable. Christmas is a time for us all to show up.

Gratitude and Thanks-giving

But let us not forget the presents in the midst of his Presence. Feast days and holidays are opportunities for food sharing and gift giving. There can be excess of both, and a belittlement of thoughtfulness. If we learn anything from the saints, it is the ability to accept the gifts God has given us. Be they spiritual, physical or cultivated virtues, the gifts one has should be regularly appreciated.

Nothing is guaranteed in this life, and the holidays seem to be prime ground for pettiness and poking our loved ones. Instead of reassuring one another of our love and building the walls of trust higher, we look for cracks and find reasons to grumble. Instead of replying back to a "funny joke" with a biting jab, think, "Is this the hill I wish to die on?"

One way to fight back against bitterness is to count your blessings - literally. Embrace your inner Pollyanna, smile to show your gratitude, say "thank you" often, have an accountability partner, and pray. When we start to consciously focus on the positives, the negatives fade faster and neatly away.

The reason for the season is renewal - the birth of the Lord, the bringing peace into the world. There will never be an end of conflict as sin continues to ravage this weary world, but we can love at home, as Blessed Mother Teresa said in her Nobel Peace prize acceptance speech:

"You too try to bring that presence of God in your family, for the family that prays together stays together. And I think that we in our family don't need bombs and guns, to destroy to bring peace - just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world. 

There is so much suffering, so much hatred, so much misery, and we with our prayer, with our sacrifice are beginning at home. Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do. It is to God Almighty - how much we do it does not matter, because He is infinite, but how much love we put in that action. How much we do to Him in the person that we are serving."

In perspective, whether we celebrate Santa or only discuss Christ; whether we make cookies or buy them from the store; whether we live liturgically or just try to live in imitation of Christ -- if we do not live in love, if we do not love our families, and if we do not forgive ourselves to failing to live up to our own standards, then we miss the opportunity to know Christ better, which is what every day alive is really about.

{See the FB page for more! Happy feast of the Holy Family!}

One Year Later

One year ago, I promised to love, be faithful and honor my dearest friend in this life...

We moved twice, celebrated one graduation, changed jobs, started school again, had a baby and embarked on interviews. We've laughed, I've cried, we've trusted and loved. 

It's been a wonderful year! Thankful for God's blessings and faithfulness. 

Jingle All The Way!

We've been traveling since Saturday, and we're finally at my parents' for the night before driving to my in-laws' tomorrow. Until then, we're watching Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to get a Turbo Man. 

Grace was very distracting. 

I enjoy our Christmas decorations! Here is our childhood Christmas tree:

Our tree room:

The latest addition - Grace's stocking!

It's good to be home. 

#7QT: Will, Fourth Wise Man

It's Friday, Friday... Hi to Jen and y'all!

{one}

Writing is more fun than packing. I wrote The ABCs of Gift Giving for The Imaginative Conservative and hey-o! You should check it out.

More Advent posts to come too so stay tuned... I really like this one.

{two}

I've been dressing Grace all wrong...

Will (to Grace): What are you wearing?! It looks like a kitten wearing an astronaut suit! You look ridiculous!
Julie: I think that is an owl...
Will (upon inspecting more closely): Ah yes, an owl. Still looks like a kitten in an astronaut suit.

Will: How do you like not wearing pants?
Grace:
Will: I don't like your pants. They have a reindeer on the butt, and then people look at your butt.
Grace:
Will: It's all about the precedent, Grace!

Grace is not amused.

{three}

Or have I??

Practicing kicks!

Sitting on the bed, helping me pack... or distracting me, either one

{four}

Okay, I know you've all been waiting with baited breath... our Christmas decorations:

O [first] Christmas tree!

Grace is getting her stocking for Christmas from Mimi!

Yes, Jesus is already out. 

{five}

If you're on FB, I'm sure you've seen the request to share your favorite ten books (not thinking too hard, just the ones that have really stood out to you); here are mine:

DRUM ROLL. {in alphabetical order}

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Go Down, Moses by William Faulkner
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
The End of the Affair by Graham Greene
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery
Shizuko's Daughter by Kyoko Mori
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh

{six}

December TBM Topic #36: "Feast Days and Holidays" 

Christmas is the feast day of Jesus' birth, and it's also an occasion of Santa Claus. Where does liturgical living come in - celebrating feast days as well as national holidays! How they are both important to celebrate? People do parades for Fourth of July, start playing Christmas music after Halloween -- and what about Our Lady of Guadalupe? Or the anniversary of our Baptism? Celebrating our birthday and our Confirmation saint's day! How do you see it?

Join us!

{seven}

Staring contest. Anddddd go!

Pals!

Happy days, y'all!

Two Month Check-Up: Four Vaccines

Today, Grace is two months and thirteen days old, and had her third doctor's visit. We practiced tummy time in the waiting room...

And in the patient room! Everyone agrees that Grace is beautiful and a tummy time rock star.

Look at that form!

Then, to show off to the attending, she attempted to roll over. That was impressive to the doctor and less thrilling for me. Stay still! No mobility yet, please!

Grace had one oral vaccine and three shots in her thighs. She turned very red, and cried a bit, and I cooed at her how brave she was. It wasn't hard for me to see her cry or get shots - I was there to comfort her, and I know they are for the best for the long term. 

Then, I nursed her, she passed out, and we went home. 

zzzzzzzzz

It's one of those days where it's grand being a mom. I feel so much responsibility: yes, this is my daughter; yes, that is her rash; yes, these are her achievements; yes, she is peeing all over the table (if you're wondering about the change of clothes).

{Please say a prayer for Grace's doctor too -- 30 weeks preggo, third pregnancy, first one to go past 8 weeks!}

Later, we picked up Will from the airport, and now we're settling in for a couple days of 50 degree weather before returning to the Land of Snow Days.

I'm also burning all the Advent candles down, down, down.

buuuuuurn baby buuurn!

Zoink!

Off to find batteries for Grace's swing so I can keep typing with two hands...

Do You Try Too?

From Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury (Douglas' best friend has just moved away): 

"Tom," said Douglas, "just promise me one thing, okay?"
"It's a promise. What?"
"You may be my brother and maybe I hate you sometimes, but stick around, all right?"
"You mean you'll let me follow you and the older guys when you go on hikes?"
"Well... sure... even that. What I mean is, don't go away, huh? Don't let any cars run over you or fall off a cliff."
"I should say not! Whatta you think I am, anyway?"

"'Cause if worst comes to worst, and both of us are real old - say
forty or forty-five some day - we can own a gold mine out West and sit
there smoking corn silk and growing beards."
"Growing beards! Boy!"
"Like I say, you stick around and don't let nothing happen."
"You can depend on me," said Tom.
"It's not you I worry about," said Douglas. "It's the way God runs the world."
Tom thought about this for a moment.
"He's all right, Doug," said Tom. "He tries."

Grace Harriet's Baptism

Grace Harriet was baptized on November 30 at 11 a.m. in Our Lord Christ the King Catholic Church, the same church Will and I were married in, and by the same priest, Fr. Ed Smith. (It was so lovely having her baptized at home, surrounded by our large family!)

Almost everyone was there to celebrate! (Grace's godmother, my dear friend Heather, is currently studying art history in Scotland. My sister Marianne was her proxy.)

My brother John is her godfather.

"Grace Harriet Baldwin, the Christian community welcomes you with great joy. In its name I claim you for Christ our Savior by the sign of his cross. I now trace the cross on your forehead, and invite your parents and godparents to do the same."
(The Rite of Baptism)

"God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person." (Catechism of the Catholic Church #2158)

"Receive the light of Christ! Parents and godparents, this light is entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly. This child of yours has been enlightened by Christ. She is to walk always as a child of the light. May she keep the flame of faith alive in her heart. When the Lord comes, may she go out to meet him with all the saints in the heavenly kingdom."
(The Rite of Baptism)

"See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is."
(1 John 3:1-2)

"When words are inadequate, people speak in gestures and signs: a hug, a touch, a gift.The language of ritual enables people to share events words cannot express. 

God's action is no more limited to sacramental actions than the whole of married love is lived out in the marriage bed. But the sacraments, like lovemaking, are moments of intensified encounter. 

In any such exchange, the more expressive the gestures and symbols, the more eloquent the communication. The More meaning you intend a gift to convey, the more carefully you choose or make it. 

Baptism speaks with water and light, oil and white garment, song, and sometimes even welcoming applause. The ride can speak as expressively as a tender embrace or as perfunctiorialy as a routine good-bye peck. Routine and tender moments both nourish love, but not the same way. One speaks of minimums, the other of possibilities. The options offered in the Rite of Baptism let you express the meanings you have discovered in the sacraments in a very personal way."  -- Carol Luebering, Handing on the Faith

Welcome, Grace Harriet!

#7QT: Just Jogging in Sperry's, Y'all!

It's between 12 a.m. and 2 a.m. and I have a Grace Harriet on my chest, bobbing her head... so let's get our link-up groove on with Jen & co.!

ONE

The most important thing: I woke up to this face yesterday morning.

I know. She's fabulous.

TWO

The second most important piece of business is the Liturgical Living: Advent link-up I am doing. Why? Because you should join in! I'm dying for insights into the holy season and how to make it more festive. Like, feast days: talk to me. Which ones do y'all celebrate? How do you celebrate? What about caritas in this giving season? And decorating. Please. In the mean time, it's raining/ misting down here in New Orleans. I thought hurricane season was over? Maybe this is what winter looks like.

So join in! You know you want to participate.  Will and I watched Christmas Vacation tonight; now that movie is full of good cheer! We love the neighbors.

THREE

On Tuesday, I had Will do Xtend Barre with me. Since it's pilates + ballet, I think he thought it would be "easy"... and he was wrong. Feel the burn, darling. For me, however, what hurt more was what we did Wednesday.

I put our mail on hold three weeks ago, before I went home with my Dad and Grace, since Will would be gone most of the week on interviews. I asked Will to meet me downtown so we could get the mail together (I can't carry a box of mail and push Grace in the stroller). First post office gave us a package but says our mail is at the other downtown location.

Well. My car was getting an oil change, but Will's car only had a half hour on the meter. So he pushed Grace and walked so fast that I had to jog to keep up. Jogging in Sperry's on the unforgiving pavement of downtown New Orleans - 10+ minutes there, and another 10ish minutes back - is the best way to bring your shin splint pains back. In case you have plans to mimic my exercise style(s).

And no, we didn't get our mail, since you are wondering. Yes, I filled out the yellow slip. (The man at the other post office remembers!) Thank you, post lady, for giving us two names and phone numbers and telling us not to mention you by name. Another day then? Retrieving one's mail is top secret business down here... Aaaaand we're jogging again.

FOUR

It feels really good to be home, and by home, I mean our townhouse in New Orleans. It's a mess right now, as I get to sort through a large stack of papers I left for "later", writing more thank you notes (a wonderful blessing!!), my organization binder is in chaos, and there is always more laundry and cleaning to be done. Still - it's my work, it's my home, and it's my responsibility. That feels really good.

I feel a steep learning curve in decorating my own home. I'm glad Grace won't remember this Christmas, and a little disappointed she doesn't see how cute her binky looks sitting in her tiny shoe for St. Nick's feast day! We head back up north in less than two weeks... hard to believe! Will took an exam today, and has more, plus a couple of interviews before we drive north for another one and Christmas break. It's exhausting seeing people and sharing Grace, and so thrilling at the same time.

FIVE

Most surreal part of my week? A recommendation which lead to a phone interview that resulted in a job offer. I'm going to teach AP and regular US history, y'all! For a classical school online! More on that later.

SIX

I like this article by Mary:

Pioneer and medieval women spent a lot of time sewing and cooking, sure, but that can't have been so much more boring than the plowing and animal-feeding the men were doing. Those same women spent a lot of time pregnant (earlier marriages, no modern means to postpone/avoid pregnancy, etc.), which was probably about as risky as fixing the roof or going to war, and probably seen as a good thing if for no other reason than that more kids meant more hands to help run the farm. 

This division of labor seems more sensible than sexist: if you're breastfeeding, you should be where the babies are, and if you're pregnant, you should do less heavy lifting. So it makes sense that the never-pregnant men would do the heavier work and the frequently-pregnant women would do the lighter -- but equally demanding and equally important -- work. In the days before Hot Pockets and Ann Taylor, someone had to cook and sew or the family wouldn't be fed and clothed. 

(Mary C. Tillotson, "Redeeming 'Women's Studies'", The Mirror Magazine)

SEVEN

Thursday Thrills: Will is re-reading Mockingjay. Grace is less enthusiastic.

"What's in this for me?"

Happy Friday, all!

Liturgical Living: Advent 2013 Link-Up

This is my first Baldwin family Advent and Christmas... and a few days in, I realized I wasn't remotely aware of it. Back in New Orleans, I'm back in short sleeves and shorts. Christmas time usually means I am bundled up and craving hot chocolate. There are palm trees outside, and there was a slight rain earlier. Yesterday's first reading was Isaiah 11:1-10; the last verse reads:

On that day,
The root of Jesse,
set up as a signal for the nations,
The Gentiles shall seek out,
for his dwelling shall be glorious.

Okay God, I get it. Jesus is coming! And a Jesse tree or a Christmas tree is in order in our dwelling. (We have neither right now.) This got me thinking about the family I worked for who celebrated Christmas. They were not religious and their home was devoid of any kind of religious symbols, but they still had rituals: putting up the Christmas tree, decorating the house, cookie decorating with the cousins.

And now, in my own home with my husband and child, I am faced with the decisions of how we are going to celebrate and live our lives gloriously in preparation of the coming of the Christ child. It'll be an evolving process, a steep learning curve (I need to let myself get more creative), and I hope you'll share your own Advent adventures below!

Advent wreath

I bought four little votive candles tonight - we'll only be here for another two weeks, but we can at least light the purple ones! No wreath yet... on the to-buy list. Any suggestions?

Books

The Christmas Mystery by Jostein Gaarder is my favorite, hands down. It tells the story of a little girl who chases a little lamb back before the birth of Christ, and then makes an amazing journey with the wise men, shepherds and angels to Jesus - as told to a little boy reading a homemade Advent calendar.

The Word Made Flesh: The Meaning of the Christmas Season by Pope John Paul II (as Karol Wojtyla) is a collection of homilies from between 1959 and 1978. Just lovely.

Decorations

I currently have... nothing. But!!!! I've been dreaming of garland and I spotted a cute and affordable Christmas tree at Wal-Mart across the way, and we're going to buy it this week and then decorate it. {Perk of being married a few days before Christmas... ornaments were a popular gift!!} Then, after the tree is up, and I light the holiday scented candle and pour the wine, I might just be content... but garland. We need garland. And maybe a strand of twinkle lights. [Pictures to come, promises!]

Christmas at home, circa 2009

We also have the stockings my parents gave us last Christmas... and I just realized Grace now needs one too! We'll hang them by the staircase with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be there!

Oh, and forget Pintrest: Katie did a link-up of Christmas decorations last year!

Favorite Movies and Music

The Muppets' Christmas Carol
It's A Wonderful Life
A Charlie Brown Christmas
A Year Without a Santa Claus
Miracle on 34th Street (ft. Natalie Wood!)
The Holiday (mostly the Arthur-Kate Winslet-Jack Black story line)

Christmas Carols station on Pandora
A Laurie Berkner Christmas album
The Muppets' 12 Days of Christmas



Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You"
Barenaked Ladies' "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/ We Three Kings"

Favorite Advent song: O Come, O Come Emmanuel! (Leah's too!)

Feast Days

There are a lot of feast days during Advent... we never celebrated any growing up, but we may start with Our Lady of Guadalupe. We're new to intentionally living liturgically!

Giving Back

One of the best parts of the season is the active giving unto others in society. Will and I have felt really called to help the homeless in New Orleans, and I am currently reading up on the best kind of care packages to make for them.

There's also this!!!!!

The Nativity

We have a little Holy Family Fontanini collection given to us as a wedding gift - I am excited to set it out, and watch the collection grow over the years! Maybe we'll have a manager soon! And a couple animals!

St. Nick and Santa Claus

My family mostly did St. Nick growing up (if my mom remembered!), and I'd love to teach the kids more about the man, the saint, the heretic face puncher. (Tis the season to be jolly!)

Will and I are split on perpetuating Santa... I'm on Team Virginia, and Will looks forward to surprising the kids when they're naughty by saying "Santa Claus isn't real!" I like (okay, lovelovelove) this approach - reasonable, fair, fun! Just spreading the Christmas cheer, y'all.

Spiritual Preparations

Meg of Held by His Pierced Hands put together an Advent Boot Camp... check it out. I'm doing it, plus a rosary a day. May try for more daily mass too.

Traditions

Lighting the candles each night before dinner while reading the daily reflection...
Fulfilling presents from the Giving Tree at church...
Volunteering to help at a local charity...
Decorating the house and tree...
The Luminaria...

Treats

Hot chocolate and marshmallows, white chocolate covered pretzels, green and red M&Ms? These are a few of my favorite things! Not to mention the sugar cookies... Yum. I believe rum cake will be entered into the season this year too!

Weather

New Orleans is quite balmy, but we'll be heading back to the Midwest for half of December and half of January.  Brrrrrrr.

For those looking to unplug this Advent season, Haley writes on what she is doing to focus better on the season. And if you're looking for a Christmas present... her e-book looks rad!

As we enter into this season, I think it is important to prepare our homes as well as our hearts, as a means to more intimately know God and show his love for us. Let us gloriously prepare his coming!

Happy Liturgical New Year!

Advent begins! 

O come, o come Emmanuel!

Blessings in Disguise

TBM Topic #35: "How to Cultivate a (Truly) Grateful Heart"

Trista, Not A Minx
Liesl, Spiritual Workout
Amanda, Worthy of Agape

Driving to Cincinnati from Indiana on Thanksgiving, Will and I listened to NPR. The Thanksgiving special interview was John Mayer, and the big take-away was how it is hard to be patient. He talked about how one's career may seem lucrative, but no one really sees the valleys - only the peaks. Did you know John Mayer has been in Montana for the past year and a half not singing or speaking in public to recover from throat surgery?

Nor do we know about many people's struggles in life. Too often, we are drowning in our own sorrow. We are too poor, too lonely, too victimized, too ignored, too sad. We cope with this by tweeting about how lonely we are, comparing ourselves to others, wishing for another life and grumbling to anyone who will listen. Why isn't anyone listening?!

Perhaps the question we should be asking is, Are we listening?

When we are handed misfortune, is it really so bad? Or do we think it is worse because it is happening to us? What is God trying to tell us when life hands us a poor hand? That, perhaps, we still hold the trump card? Do we doubt in God's mercy? Do we trust in God's care? Do we thank him regularly, or are we enjoying our wallowing and self-pity?

Our own wretched ungratefulness is realized upon its temporary removal; when we realize that life can always be worse, and usually by our own fallibleness. Still, it is our ability to sin, our ability to be unhappy, which makes us human.

"Love is patient, love is kind" is not a cliche we should dismiss; it is a truth. We must be patient with ourselves: we are on a journey - life is not meant to be stagnant, or predictable, or a pattern. We must be kind to ourselves; we must love ourselves. We must not wish we were different. We must seek to answer the question: God made me this way - what gifts am I giving back to this world? How can I best glorify God in a way no one else can?

We are too unsatisfied with ourselves. This is not to say self-improvement should be disregarded, or that we should revert to our most base instincts, but rather that our critical natures are self-destructive and ungrateful in the sight of God, who made us in his own image.

And it is in loving ourselves - truly - and accepting ourselves the way God made us, and to not complain about all the temporal woes, but finding joy and strength in the challenge, that we become who we are, and we can be grateful for who we are.

"Whenever we take a step towards Jesus, we come to realize that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms...God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy." --Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium

To be truly happy, we must love ourselves as God loves us. We must forgive ourselves as God forgives us. And we must be grateful, truly, knee-bending grateful, for the life God has given us. It will never be perfect, but it will always be full of possibility. It is not our things or accomplishments that we take with us, but our love, our joy, and our grateful heart for all God has given us.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I am afraid of water I cannot see in; I am afraid of spiders (and the cockroach that climbed up the drain in our old apartment while I was taking a shower); I am afraid of falling from great heights; I am afraid of confrontation; I am afraid of never being enough.

Some of these things are reasonable; others, understandable. I've faced most of these fears, which lessens the brunt but does not take away the fear. These fears help make me more compassionate, more empathetic, more human.

Fear is the first noticeably personality trait in my seven week old daughter. She is afraid of the dark. In our bedroom in New Orleans, the city's street lamps are a couple feet from our windows, providing large dulled orange night lights. Back in Cincinnati, the guest room is so dark that I cannot see Grace's eyes staring back at me when I pick her up from her bassinet. She falls back asleep with the lights on, cries when she opens her eyes again and cannot see her little hands which reach upwards.

So, I bought her a Finding Nemo soother: lights, ocean wave music, and a friendly fish to say hello. It helped her, and being able to comfort her after I put her to bed that brought me comfort. I imagine God feels this way too -- in our moments of doubt, our moments of blindness, our moments of loneliness, He loves us and reaches out to us, gives us light.

When we belittle another's fear, we cannot help them. If a person feels unlovable, mocking their fear of being alone is only going to drive them more inward. If we push a self-conscious person to speak in front of the class, the anxiety is only going to rise. If we dismiss another's worries, we cannot see the motivating force of their actions.

Fear can, and should, be channeled. Fear is not an end point. Fear is an obstacle. There is always a way around it, always a way to overcome it (even if the fear persists). Fear is also a gift, if we so choose to accept it, in our journey - our fear of the Lord, our awe of his majesty. We see our limitations in fear, but we learn that they are opportunities, "for God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7).

In my fears, I see myself. In my fears, I seek God. In my fears, I know God, who never departs from me; because even when the dark overwhelms, I know there is light.

**
Follow me on Twitter: @thejulieview

Love as Warm as Tears

"Love's as Warm as Tears" by C. S. Lewis

Love's as warm as tears,
Love is tears:
Pressure within the brain,
Tension at the throat,
Deluge, weeks of rain,
Haystacks afloat,
Featureless seas between
Hedges, where once was green.

Love's as fierce as fire,
Love is fire:
All sorts - infernal heat
Clinkered with greed and pride,
Lyric desire, sharp-sweet,
Laughing, even when denied,
And that empyreal flame
Whence all loves came.

Love's as fresh as spring,
Love is spring:
Bird-song hung in the air,
Cool smells in a wood,
Whispering, "Dare! Dare!"
To sap, to blood,
Telling "Ease, safety, rest,
Are good; not best."

Love's as hard as nails,
Love is nails:
Blunt, thick, hammered through
The medial nerves of One
Who, having made us, knew
The thing He had done,
Seeing (with all that is)
Our cross, and His.

C.S. Lewis passed into the next life on this day 50 years ago; may his soul find peace and rest in God.

I Feel Home

This morning, Dad, Grace and I left New Orleans... 

And flew home to Cincinnati! Where Grace met Aunt Katie,

Uncle Mikey,

Aunt Marianne,

Uncle John (to-be godfather!),

and Aunt Megan!

Mimi was there to greet her too!

It's so good to be home. 

The Idolatry of Perfect

When I was a nanny, I listened to a lot of Laurie Berkner, a fantastic children's song writer and singer. There is a song called "I'm Not Perfect" that I would sing along with the five year old, and the first stanza goes:

I'm not perfect, no I'm not
I'm not perfect
But I've got what I've got
I do my very best, I do my very best
I do my very best each day
But I'm not perfect
And I hope you like me that way.

Growing up, I really struggled with my imperfections: my stutter, my glasses, my introvert self that is shy of too much attention. As a result, I grew up feeling inadequate. I hid my imperfections and my struggles, thinking that if people knew, they wouldn't like me. I dreaded going to school - grade school is a land of active and passive bullies. Boys who teased the stutterer, girls who wouldn't want to be paired with you. Talking in class was my worst nightmare - the more pressure I felt, the worse I stuttered. I only had one teacher who would let me do my presentations in front of her, alone, and another teacher who encouraged me in my writing, never forcing me to read my work aloud. She did, though, and I would blush with pleasure.

I am lucky to have two wonderful parents who love me. Growing up, though, I was especially close to my father. My Dad was (is!) my #1 supporter - he is a real friend to me (I only had a few), he praises my good qualities, he always tells me the truth, he always listens.

He continually tells me to banish those feelings of inadequacy, and that the Devil is speaking in my ear when I think I am not worth it. He reminds me of my self-worth, that I am loved, that God made me exactly who I am for a reason and to want to be someone - or something else - is a slap in God's face. It is up to me (Dad says) to discover and spread God's love, and to use the talents God has given me for his greater glory, rather than focusing on the pebbles of my own smallishness.

I've grown so much since the days I stuttered every sentence, and cried after school, and retreated even more into myself because I was imperfect. And I am still imperfect, but those imperfections have led to virtues - I've learned to stick up for myself and others; I've learned to laugh at myself; I've learned that people who hurt others are hiding their own hurt; I've learned to be brave; I've learned that crying isn't weak; I've learned that even when I don't feel lovable, I am loved - and to say otherwise is a slap in God's face. I stare at a crucifix when I feel this way, and pray, and ask God to forgive me. Christ suffered death for me, and would suffer it again, just for me.

I still struggle with this today. I fixed cornbread two weeks ago and it turned out horribly - like freeze-dried astronaut food. Will came into the kitchen and tried it.

"No! It's horrible!" I protested.
"Yes," he laughed. "It really is!"
We laughed about it and then I said, "Ug, I'm a horrible wife."
"Why would you say that? Who says that?"
"Because I am! I can't even make corn bread."
"Is being a good wife contingent on making corn bread?"
"I'm just trying to make you happy!"
"You do! I am happy! You make me happy!"

The problem is always perception. We think we know what people want -- and if we give them what they want, maybe they'll hire us or be friends with us or they'll date us or even marry us. But it does not work that way. Sure, perhaps initially. But will it last? Is that perception reality?

For example, Will didn't even ask me to make corn bread. I made it because I know he likes it. Then I messed up - he didn't care. I cared. It felt like the oven had a vendetta against me. Or maybe I made a mistake mixing the ingredients. Either way, personal failure is something I am learning to laugh about as I continue to lessons in the kitchen. It was my first time fixing cornbread from scratch - my second time was much more edible, and I have higher hopes for the third.

When we focus on our short-comings, we lose sight of our blessings. When we covet what another has, be it their (perceived) happiness or their job or their life, we miss out on having our own adventures. Our story is individually written - no one repeats it, and no one's is perfect. Matthew 5:48 says, "You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Is that perfect at fixing cornbread?
Is that being a perfect friend, student, worker or significant other?
Is that being a perfect Christian?

No. Perfection supersedes all of that. It is loving God above all. It is loving your neighbor as yourself - yes, the neighbor who cuts you off in busy traffic or makes fun of you or hurts your feelings. It is striving for Heaven with all of your faults. It is about changing our human perceptions. We worship ourselves when we lament our faults. We worship perfection, an ideal, when we cannot forgive ourselves for being sinners or less than what we desire. We cannot be perfect like God is we deny the gifts and challenges he has given us.

Does this mean it's time to stop trying? Of course not. But understand what your goals are - be kind to yourself. This fallen world is beautiful, you are beautiful. Beauty is not a magazine cover - beauty is goodness, a ready smile, a willingness to take advantage of this life and not waste the gifts, small as they may be.

Sometimes, I don't want to write posts because I haven't time to think them through. Like this one. I fought myself over writing it. I knew it wasn't going to be exactly how I wanted it to turn out, and it isn't. It isn't perfect. But does that mean I shouldn't write it? Should I stop blogging?

As seen in Boston - "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." 

The quest for perfection is usually the quest for happiness - if all is perfect, all is well. But this is not so - this is life! Messy, unorganized, full of mistakes and the ability to fix them. Happiness is a willingness to try, and be yourself, feelings and all. As the end of the Laurie Berkner song goes,

You're not perfect, no you're not.
You're not perfect
But you've got what you've got
You do your very best, you do your very best
You do your very best each day
But you're not perfect
And you know,
I love you that way.

**
Follow me on Twitter: @thejulieview

#7QT: The Music In Our Heads

Join Jen and friends here!

ONE

When my baby sleeps, her arms go up and her hands flick, like she's conducting a great orchestra invisible to the rest of us. I'm currently playing Appalachian Journey for us to keep tempo while she naps/ stares off into space and I write. For the past few days, as we've been driving east, then north, then south, and then back home west, it was a lot of RUSH, classic radio hits, and, sometimes, her wails synchronizing with the car speeding along the highway. And after the wails come the coos, the mouth noises, and a mama singing the "Grace-Grace-GraceGrace" song.

I like to imagine Grace has classical music swirling around in her head, something dramatic and exciting and beautiful, but I imagine it's something more like this:



"Mama, Dada, boop-boop, shoo-wawa!"

TWO

Bright Maidens are at it again! Join us for our November prompt - "How To Cultivate A (Truly) Grateful Heart"!

Write up a piece on your blog and share it on our FB page; we'll share it at-large. At the end of the month, we'll put all the pieces into one post and share them again for all to enjoy!

We're officially over 700 likes by this past weekend - do you like us too?

THREE

Want to know what your body goes through when you've run a marathon? Wonder if you're up for it today? Here, wonder no more! Pretty sweet infographic, I must say. I'm not one of those people who wants to run a marathon (although rumor has it that child birth is like it, but longer), but I used to run for fun and sports, so the concept still intrigues me. 5ks sound fun to me! Do they have baby harnesses for runners or is that what strollers are for? (Says the lady who was just cleared for exercise.)

FOUR

"I Learned Everything I Needed to Know About Marriage From Pride and Prejudice", The Atlantic Monthly
"Men Without Hearts" The American Conservative
"An Interview with Simcha Fisher, Author of A Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning", Ignitum Today

FIVE

" 'Too many Christians... have a tendency to make an ideology, an abstraction, out of Christianity. And abstractions have no need of a mother.' Here again what is said of Mary applies to the Church. The motherhood of the Church no longer means anything to our systems - but we, in order to free ourselves from their abstraction, need to return to our mother." -Henri de Lubac, Motherhood of the Church

(H/T Christine! A very cool lady and one of my favorite blogs.)

SIX

Grace is modeling the newest gift - a bib (and onesie, which is currently too big) from my high school alma mater! It's currently almost as long as her, but it should last her for a long time!

Future Lion?

SEVEN

Sneak peek into life right now... off to eat lunch before going on a walk with Will!

Happy weekend!