Valentine's Day Plans Gone Wild: Going Forward

This past weekend, a friend was supposed to come visit, and I imagined she would bake us 6 million gazillion delicious things. Instead, the girls and I battled the flu, and I couldn't taste my first coffee back so... still a ways to go on Love Day.

These roses - the "least sad looking ones" from the hospital; and you know? All I noticed is that they are the happiest color. Thanks, babe. 

Will fixed me coffee, just the way I like it, which makes me a little sad that I couldn't really taste it due to total clogging of the sinuses. One of the hardest parts of having the flu is his lack of flexibility. Residency means long hours taking care of someone else, and that's just part of his education. It can't be skipped. Even if he was sick, he would probably keep working. (ED doctors, I've noticed, have a very high standard for what is considered "dire" and what is considered "deal with it"!) But he's the guy coming home from late shifts, taking Laura's temperature rectally without a second thought, and multiplying all these numbers in his head for correct dosage via her weight (I just look at the package like a math slacker).

Valentine's Day is a mixed bag for me. I'm not into big gestures and I don't need to go out to eat, but I like celebrating little moments - and this is the kind of holiday I want someone else to plan something for me. I wrote about this last year; the 10 ways to celebrate Valentine's Day (which starts with accepting your loved one for exactly who they are).

And maybe that's what I really want for Valentine's Day, anyways. My husband (bless his heart) is not a gift giving person, but he is the gift that keeps giving. He texts me to remind me to shower, calls me with an order to drink more cranberry juice, gets out of bed because I forgot my tylenol and benedryl before I climbed under the covers, refills my humidifier, and helps monitor our little fevered daughters during this time of rare illness. He worked 10-8 on Sunday and I'll spent the day - more or less - catching up with a few animated favorites (Tangled, Mulan and The Emperor's New Groove), Grace and Laura. (I think Daniel Tiger showed up later again, as usual.)

 Hey Dad, can I eat your soup with you? 

What a guy, my valentine.

It's a kind of love language I'm still learning - I'm the one who likes to buy balloons for the girls, dress them special outfits and fix holiday-centric meals. He's the one who's always up for playtime with the girls, gets us cleaning the downstairs before bed because I love waking up to a clean house, and readily collapses next to me in bed or on the couch, studying for his in-service exam with his iPad so we can "hang out" for a bit. We splurged time-wise by watching the entirety of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and laughing together.

I like nurturing; he likes doing. What are your love languages? How do they work with others?

For this post-Valentine's Day week, I'd like to...

• fix these one bowl chocolate cupcakes with the girls... because Will is going to be on night shift half the week, and they look delicious. 
• go to a craft store (or maybe just Amazon Prime, per usual) and make these flamingo handprints for the girls's room. (Well, we'll see how well they tolerate paint on their hands!)
• start to plan Laura's first birthday party!!! {pink and gold seem the most appropriate colors}
• take it easy... classes, therapies and grading. Done. Rest is best, rest is best.  

More exciting than Valentine's Day, however, is happening in five weeks: Will and I are going on our FIRST RESIDENCY VACATION SANS KIDS!!! Just us. No littles. We only mention it every other day to each other. If you've ever been to Baltimore, have any suggestions? I'm enjoying doing research too. It's going to be a fun trip.

**

Our Baldwin Valentine's Day looked like...

More poor sick Laura. She didn't like being put down, ever. 

Fortunately! She responded well to her medicines. What a sweetheart. 

This girl took a four and a half hour nap (unusual in one session), so that meant the girls enjoyed me in shifts. 

Perking up enough to eat a few blueberries... then a few more...

My darling GHB looking especially darling on Valentine's Day, complete with runny nose. We learned to say "mama! nose!" or "mama! tissue!" or "nose! help!" instead of the perpetual sleeve wiping I battled.

So, we're (FINALLY) officially over the flu around here and just enjoying the residual symptoms. What does your week look like?

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When You're Sick

Rest is best, rest is best! - Daniel Tiger

Today is Day 5 of the sickness; I started this post on Day 1. 

The day started okay; I tried to teach Laura how to use a spoon. 

Then, my head started pounding, nose running, throat scratchy, body and cough hurt, so I retreated to the couch. Grace ran around with her and Laura's Valentine's Day balloons. 

She's moving so fast, you can only see a blur! 

Then, momentarily side-tracked by Tangled. Laura attempts to take her balloon back...

Laura even read me a story. 

After first nap, we had a picnic lunch upstairs in their room.

Grace continued her diva ways, which I allowed because she practiced putting her right hand up.

We ended the night in a stylish viewing of Daniel Tiger. 

This has possibly been one of the hardest illnesses for me; I've taken the week off of school, my awesome MIL came out to help, and both girls are also running fevers around the clock. My poor bebes. Will knows what to do, but he's at work for most of the day. He did take Laura after he got home from his shift (2 am or so) till the morning. It's just a long time to feel the worst. 

Happy Ash Wednesday!

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Sometimes the Parents Get Sick

It was ten till nine o'clock at night - a perfectly respectable time for Grace to be sleeping, but she was awake and screaming (she went to bed after 7:30 p.m.), and as both her parents are sick and not feeling great, we decided to invite Grace to our work-on-the-bed party. I had prep to do for my AP class, and Will is reading for journal club tomorrow.

Too excited to be up to stay still for a picture!

"Do you know what you need Grace? A hamster wheel. For your next birthday, I am giving you a toddler sized hamster wheel." - Will

My highlighter?

"For someone so small, you take up a lot of space," Will said to Grace. She was definitely marking her territory on the bed.

I am holding onto her sleep sack to keep her from face planting off the bed.

45 minutes later, she is back in her crib: not crying, just rubbing her eyes and snuggling back into her blankets. I'm done with my work, and typing up this quick post about a tough part about parenting without support nearby. My in-laws left yesterday, and I am already mourning the loss of familial help and support. 

But I have Will, and I would never wish to underplay the importance of our life together: as we work together, and struggle together, and appreciate each other. There are plenty of good days, and some times there are awful days. Today, I was not alone: Will and I worked through today together. He went to work way too early; Grace and I had two OT sessions today; I taught class; Will studied for his advanced trauma life support test later this week; I let him nap in the late afternoon, he fixed dinner while I fed and then played with Grace, and he took care of me later in the evening when I was too sick to get off the couch.

For better and for worse, for sickness and in health. I appreciate and feel strength in those vows we took, especially tonight.

Then, there is Grace.

Those beautiful eyes.

Grace made us parents. She helps us get out of the "this is what I want" routine of life, and she brings us so much joy. Even when I'm trying not to cry because my throat hurts so badly, she is so cute and amusing when she flops from Will and I, basking in our love of her. She trusts us and loves us, and sometimes, she cries because she wants to be with us. Can we blame the girl?

I love us too, Grace. Now go to sleep. Your parents need their rest.

We Few, We Happy Few

Happy St. Crispin's Day!



H/T Why I Am Catholic

Then, the famous speech of course:



[The text of the speech]

A New Center for Natural Law by Hadley Arkes

SlutWalkers, Occupiers, and Idiots by Tim Mulroon

Under the weather, which makes no sense today because the sun is shining outside. Still, sleeping, drinking water and off to get some applesauce and more medicine too.

Happy Tuesday!

Ready to Run

Yesterday I got back from my run and felt sick. It was my own fault. I hadn't eaten anything that day besides an apple for breakfast and when Vivy stopped by KKG 11 right before lunch and asked me if I wanted to go for a lunch-time run, I pushed up my run by 3 hours and set off in the snow towards the gym, even though my stomach was gurgling for food.

I pushed myself hard. I hadn't been entirely consistent with my workout this week, so I have a tendency to go harder because I know I can. My competitiveness manifests itself in many different forms, and running is one them. I race people even without them knowing sometimes, and this includes in the gym, when I'm running on the treadmill like a hamster. Like a karma cleansing exercise, I ran until I knew I had emptied my body. Afterwards, I stretched my legs and arms, twisting my torso, ignoring the bad feelings bubbling in my stomach, keeping my body moving as Vivy finished up too and then we headed back.

Back at Kappa, I rinsed, ate the best, most delicious post-run meal (salmon, pasta, tomatoes), drank cups upon cups of water, and popped two aspirins. I was going to read but still felt sick and did something I haven't done since Christmas break: I watched a movie. I got into my bed and watched Without Limits, a movie about Steve Prefontaine (thus, quite appropriate to watch after running). It's definitely in my top 10 favorite movies.

I mention it not only because it's a great movie, but because there is a scene where Steve asks Mary, his future girlfriend, if she is Catholic. She says she is, plenty of people are. No, Steve says, lots of people say they are. But you actually are, I can tell. Mary doesn't know how to take this, but Steve clarifies by saying it's a good thing. He says, "It's the hardest thing in the world to believe in something, if you do it's a miracle."

Going to a school like Hillsdale, where most of the people here are some sect of Christianity and one of the biggest student organizations is Students for Life, I think it is sometimes easy to believe in God. The fellowship here is amazing and very supportive. I know how much my faith in God has been strengthened and my Catholic faith reaffirmed. This is a cloistered environment, though. God is a priority here. Religious beliefs matter. Elsewhere? Eh. Even at religiously-affiliated high schools and colleges, I know too many people leaving and not knowing basic tenets of their faith, let alone acting as a witness.

When I was in NYC, I met three CN girls who were also Catholic. We had really great conversations, many of which discussed our faith and how it affects our lives. Another girl came into our conversation and, though she was also cradle Catholic, she clearly had no clue what she was talking about, although she had many opinions. She thought the Church was stagnant and not creative enough. She didn't understand why we said the Nicene Creed at every mass, why it was necessary to publicly reaffirm what we believe. She was a Libertarian; she therefore equated the Church to the State. She didn't agree with me that it's good that people go to mass every week, even if they don't feel like it, that faith isn't a feeling, the possibility of final grace, et cetera.

I enjoyed talking to her, I really did. I enjoy witnessing for the faith, because it pushes me to know the Church even better and, ergo, know Jesus better. Every person we meet is a different facet of God. Everyone we meet is somehow searching for Him. The important thing to remember in these discussions that the ultimate focus is to discover Truth, not prove our own point. As a Catholic, we are especially humbled by the fact that we accept the Magisterium of the Catholic Church and therefore, our personal opinion does not trump the teachings of the Church.

Oprah just had Dominican nuns from Mary, Mother of the Eucharist convent in Ann Arbor on her show. I went on a retreat there almost a year ago, and it was an amazing experience. They are so on fire for the Lord. It was funny hearing the way Oprah and Lisa Ling asked them questions and described what they did. It's important to remember that religious people are fallen too, but have chosen to dedicate themselves to God. When Lisa asked the postulates about sex, I thought it was hilarious because that's such a minuscule part of one's decision to become a nun. When you're that in love with God, you want to give yourself to Him wholly, which means no sex with anyone. It's part of one's self-sacrifice to God when one is not married, even though American culture may not see it as such.

Then again, not all religious are as faithful. I follow a blog of a priest who has many good things to say, but recently baffled me with his public admission that he is pro-choice (discussion was on the Tim Tebow ad controversy, not the amazing witnessing). I do not think a person can be pro-choice and Catholic because God's law says 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' quite clearly. I am fully on board that the State should not be dictating a lot of things, but we as Americans are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Besides, if the State isn't allowed to tell a woman what she can do with her body, we should start opening up discussions for the legalization of prostitution. (St. Thomas Aquinas was for it, actually! See his 'Summa Theologica' for his reasons why. Absolutely fascinating argument.)

I find it so incredibly wimpy for people in positions of influence to espouse the laws of God and then saying they are personally against it. I had an ethics teacher in high school who was like this. She said the Church is against abortion and birth control, but she is not. How is that proper witnesses for the faith? How is that leading by example?

CCC: "In the moral order, [the Church] bears a mission distinct from that of political authorities: the Church is concerned with the temporal aspects of the common good because they are ordered to the sovereign good, our ultimate end. She strives to inspire right attitudes with respect to earthly goods and in socio-economic relationships."

Maybe Prefontaine had a point. Maybe it is a miracle people believe in anything. This world is horrible and depraved and fallen. People are losing their faith in God because men do acts of evil, and then people wonder why God didn't intercede. I see God as the ultimate Libertarian: he lets people have free will. They may voluntarily associate with Him if they want. He continues to play a role in their life, but he doesn't dictate so. He does have rules, though, if you do voluntarily associate: you have to follow His laws, His 10 commandments. If you don't follow it, that's your choice, but if you do, salvation in Heaven is waiting.

When I run, I find joy in each stride. When I hurt, I remember He suffered more than I could possibly imagine. People, even people at Hillsdale, have tried to belittle my beliefs and weaken my Catholicism, but they miss the point. I'm not defending something I created in my head but passed down to me, something universal and oftentimes bigger than human understanding. There is a mystery to God's glory and love only He knows and can perceive. I am merely one leading others to the steam.

This semester has already shown me so many things about people, about my future vocation(s), about God, and it's only February. Less than a month till my 22nd birthday! I can only imagine what else will be known, be it possible jobs or otherwise. My friend Tom came back to campus two days ago and we briefly discussed the difficulties of being Catholic and American. I do think it is possible, despite Tom's misgivings (he is living in D.C. right now, that could have something to do with it). I think it's a challenge worth honoring and worth pursuing. I am not ready to graduate, but I am ready to start contributing more to American social thought. I think this country needs more of a Christian conscience, and I'm ready to run with it, with a smile on my face and giving the glory to Him most deserving.

"There's a man in the room!"

Today, I sound like a man. My voice is low and wispy (i.e. I sound like I'm whispering all the time) because I got sick on Saturday with a horrible sore throat (and a fever/ chills/ aches/ headache/ etc.) and now I can barely talk. It doesn't hurt too much, but that is mainly because I am taking ibuprofen on a very regular basis. On the plus side, this weekend brought many things to me, particularly an excuse to eat popsicles and nap. Not that I need one, but I felt justified in semi-wasting my time.

I did not go to work on Monday (was still not feeling well), but I came in today and copy edited 6 book reviews straight off. For lunch I went to IHOP with Aaron, where we ate too much and had great conversation. Aaron wants to go there every week, which sounds fun, but I am so full at this point that I think I won't be eating till next week anyways. I think I might try to go home early, because I am still not feeling too swell. I was supposed to go to a Hillsdale event this morning with Liz Cheney, but the metro took twice as long as usual and by the time I got there, I would have been a few minutes late and I decided that I would rather read Graham Greene at the metro station (almost done with the book) than walk in late. Not that my fellow Hillsdalians would be surprised if I was tardy, but I think it would be disrespectful and not be a good reflection of Hillsdale, so I chose to skip it.

In sad news, I found out that Mary Lou Forbes died. She won't be given huge press coverage, but she was a Pulitzer-prize winning writer and the Opinions Editor of TWT. She died on Saturday. Here's an article written by one of my favorite editorial writers Quinn. Mary Lou was a great lady, and I always enjoyed being around her. She had quite the mouth, was smart as a whip, and always let me borrow her scissors. She will be dearly, dearly missed.

I have absolutely no Fourth of July plans and I honestly do not want any. I know I shall end up doing something with the Hillsdale kids, but I can think of nothing more lovely than hanging out with Amanda during the day (preferably in the sunshine), and vegging at night. Maybe it is the semi-sick/sleepy Julie who is literally daydreaming about going to bed while typing this speaking, but I do not find the thought of fighting the mass crowds at the Mall appealing. Matt, Zach, and I had to deal with them on Saturday when we were at the Mall (Matt and I went to museums and then met up with Zach later on--before I took a nap and woke up sick, of course). I think I'm also moping because the last time I talked to Davey on the phone, he kept saying I should come home for the Fourth, and I kept telling him it was too far. I'm sure it sounded like bogus to him since he'll be traveling from St. Louis to Cincy, but it would be too much traveling.

Also, the Waxman-Markey Bill passed because the members of Congress actually hate the people of the United States and want them to suffer for the sake of the environment, which really won't be impacted that much. What's going to happen is 2-3 million jobs will most likely be lost (during a recession, nice) and energy bills are going to skyrocket for average Americans (yeah! double nice!). If you are interested in reading the bill (because if you have something to say about something, you should read the original source, not another's opinion or perception on it), here it it.

Need to start looking more seriously for airline tickets to Wisconsin for Marisa's wedding; also to Chicago, for Pitchfork Music Fest with Claire and Frank and hopefully seeing Julia as well. The wedding is in less than 3 weeks, believe it or not...this summer is going way, way too fast.

The letters editor was nice and answered the phone for me since I would have whispered into it, but it's okay because he owes me for all the times I've picked it up for him haha.

And finally, Happy Tuesday:
"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
-House at Pooh Corner