Thursday, May 1, 2014

O Lord, More Sleep Please: National Day of Prayer Edition

Today, I felt like an Easter person. A person who celebrates Easter in her heart and not just her head. I really feel the power of new life and second chances upon me.

It started so early Monday morning, when I thought we were going to miss my 6 am flight because I forgot about the Jazz Festers needing to head home, and in prayed fervently to Mama Mary to help me reach the plane in time. She delivered, understanding the extra stress it would have been since I carried my seven month old in her baby ergo and a bag with only 4 diapers.

I pray for my sanity.

We made our flight and Grace charmed all of our seat mates with her impeccable behavior, smiles, eyes, and winsome attitude. I felt very proud to be her mother.

I pray for Grace: her safety, her happiness, her life, her soul.

We flew to Philadelphia, where we met my mother-in-law and drove to Bethlehem, PA: home of the Peeps manufacturers (my favorite Easter treat) and our future home in a month and a half. Will stayed behind to go to class and gave me the task of finding our new home and prepping for our next step, which I accepted with glee.

I pray for Will and his time in residency: that is be fruitful and amazing learning experience.

At first, I was excited because I am ready for more SPACE. I feel cramped in our townhouse, and I don't want to hear the neighbors. I want Grace to have a play area, Will to have a man cave/dark room to sleep during the day, and I would love an office- and maybe double all those rooms as guest areas. More storage space too, please.

I pray our application is accepted, and for our new landlord. I pray we are safe and protected in this next home. I pray in thanksgiving for our current living arrangement and for our awesome realtor.

Last Sunday, after the last our house guests left, and the house returned to that comfortable quiet I feel when it's just the three of us, living and breathing and enjoying each other, the conversation turned to Baldwin Bebe #2 and speculation on when he or she would join us. And it really wasn't until Monday, sitting on an airplane, holding my baby, that I realized what a marvelous gift this next child would be, and for all my stressing, another baby sounds like the most delightful plan I can think of - and yes, Grace is teething right now.

Two weeks after we conceived Grace, I went to one of our parish priests to discuss my possible pregnancy (a test had not yet been taken) and he told me it was okay to feel anxiety, excitement and wonder. Will and I wanted to have kids right away... but this seemed fast? It was a new understanding of "in God's time" with our active participation. He told me that Mary felt the same way when the angel came to her, and what really matters was her yes, her fiat.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you...

I'll never stop writing or cooking or having to do laundry, but by jingo! What's the point of being so happily married if we don't invite a few more characters on stage?

Lord, when it is time, we are ready. I pray you stay close to us in our marriage and in parenthood, and that our lives will glorify you.

Life never gets simple. People who are bored are missing the chances to find new hobbies, get to know themselves better, seek out interests and interesting people. If I had one prayer, it would be in thanksgiving for coffee. I had the worst sleep habits before my baby. I still have them, but reasons change for why I've changed them (necessity for my own sanity). I overuse the word "yes" and Grace has given me new reasons to indulge her rather than myself. I like the shift in scenery.

So, I write to you today to share the fear that has been lifted from my heart. The fear of the unknown and inexperienced: because our second baby is going to be just as awesome as Grace, and stretch our hearts further and wider.

Jesus suffered death for me; I can suffer suspense and a little sleep deprivation for the sake of the Kingdom.

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

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