Tuesday, March 25, 2014

A Happy Birthday Ode to Will

Happy birthday, dear husband! It seems so long ago that we first started dating, and we threw you a 24th birthday party!

You're a little less tan (our Pensacola trip will fix that!), and you've got a girl on each arm now:

Lauren at The Loveliest Hour wrote a wonderful piece, "Marriage and the Grand Deception", which I highly recommend. It makes me even more grateful for a husband who keeps his cool under all kinds of pressure, communicates well and first, and loves me even when I'm sulking.

SEVEN THINGS WILL HAS TAUGHT ME {during our marriage}:
  • Fun is fun is fun. Have I ever told you how fun Will is? Way more fun than me. He plays games, he tells jokes, he's super active... and I am the snail coming in last place with a huge grin on my face. He loves that I participate. He loves that I like trying new things. He comes along with me to museums and parades. He helps me indulge when I think I should clean instead - and I appreciate that he embraces the lighter side of life.
  • Vulnerability. When Will's upset, he tells me. When I'm upset, he asks me what is wrong. He doesn't expect a "fine" answer - he wants to know because he cares. I'm learning to be a lot more brave with my emotions because of my husband's healthy attitude towards honesty, acceptance and truth.
  • Cleaning till it's good enough. I don't happen to agree with this, but I appreciate it and I am working on accepting it. When I was pregnant, I went through a CLEAN ALL THE THINGS stage. Then, I had Grace, and that became an Olympic feat. I take a more moderate approach now - one big sweeping clean after dinner, and then I retire until the next day. Wa-la! 
  • Intellectual honesty. Will is straight-forward and unflinching. He knows his strengths and his weaknesses. He is the master of Socratic method discussion and I love picking his brain with philosophical questions and hypothetical situations.
  • Let it go, let it go. Will is not easily ruffled, whereas I can be Sensitive Sally. He asks me, Is it worth it? The answer is usually a resounding no. His perspective is gentle and calming, and firm.
  • He encourages me. Will is all about being hands-on and doing; I am contemplative about everything, including that pile of laundry that needs to be folded. He could eat the same meal every day and not complain, and yet he encourages me in all my cooking ventures (even if that means eating something else later). He watches Grace so I can run by myself for 30 minutes, or write a blog post, or just drink my cup of coffee without two little feet kicking me. He encourages me to seek what I am interested in, and explore it, even if/when I baby step towards it
  • Sex matters. There is so much talk and visual exposure to sex today that its real attraction is being lost: intimate moments between two people. Moments of real connection and passion. Not actors - people in love with each other; people who marry in the hopes of a long life with the other.The intimacy of married life is nothing compared to what Will and I felt before our wedding; and, being with only Will was and is worth it - worth all the waiting. Looks are deceiving, charm is fleeting; people will tempt you, and you'll have conflicted feelings, but sex is so much more than the physical action. The emotional connection of trust, knowing the other person is there for you always, accepting the other person as exactly who they are (combined with the possibility of children), is a true grace from God. It's beautiful and it is special, and the person worth sharing it with you is the one who mutually pledges their life to yours.
Windy day and a walk with Dad

I know Grace; your Dad is 27!

Telling Grace that rum cake is for later in life...
Will, you really are the best. I can't believe how blessed I am. Happy birthday!

1 comment:

  1. Such a lovely post on the birthday party. My son turned 18thin the last month and even I hosted a wonderful party at the local event space Chicago. He loves golf so it was a golf themed party which I hosted at the outdoor garden party venue. It turned out to be just fabulous.