What the Opposite of Insomnia? Zombie Land.

When I was pregnant with Grace, I had insomnia, even while taking sleep medications. It was positively horrible. I was so tired that I couldn't do anything but think about how tired I was. I would try to pray the rosary, but forget where I was (usually counted on my fingers) or how to say the prayers. I would get up to work, bur be too tired to read or write. It was a fate worse than death - tired and unproductive by day and night.

So, pretty much preparing me for a normal life post-Grace.

Monday: Grace was awake between 2-4 a.m. As I fed her and burped her and changed her diaper (twice) and paced around the six steps between our bedroom door and the outside wall), I wondered, Why you were still awake?

Wednesday: Grace cried for 3-4 hours for seemingly no reason. Fortunately, before bed. 

No! Not my gum drop buttons!

Friday: We're having another crying day. She cried with her Dad. She cried with her Mom. She cried in the 10 minute drive to pick up Will from class, only to promptly fall asleep for the next two hours. After dinner, Miss Fussykins and I walked to Wal-Mart to look for a new day planner (no success, but Christmas decorations are out!), and she fell asleep. She's awake again, so this post will be short.

Her, earlier. I'm savoring that moment.

The opening to this morning's Psalm was Isaiah 28:8 - The Lord God will wipe away/ the tears from all faces. I laughed when I read that - thank you Lord! I need a good wiping too!

Grace is officially 15 days old today. She's expanded our hearts in so many ways, and stretched me further than I thought I could handle. When I was asked today "what I do all day", I said that my day starts around 3 a.m., when I feed Grace and change her diaper. Back to sleep. Then 6 a.m., when I feed Grace and change her diaper. Maybe sleep? (Will gets up around then; I'm toying with daily mass in the morning vs. before lunch.) Same for 9 a.m., etc. and all the way till the evening, when she goes to sleep for a few hours before her 3 a.m. wake-up call.

My mom left this morning, so this week will be our first alone - just Will, Grace and me. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law will be down in a week or so, but I already miss my mom (and not just because she fixed me an omlette every morning, made sure I ate plenty of vegetables, and believes strongly in dessert). She reminded me to nap and to suppress my "busy bee gene". She helped me not feel overwhelmed when Grace refused to be soothed. She carried Grace, changed her diapers, gave her baths, showered Grace with love, and introduced her to the "No Such Thing As Too Many Pictures" family motto.

Okay, you caught me. Binky to the rescue!

I'm so tired now. I can fall asleep and stay asleep. Tonight, on our quest for a new day planner, I could have sat down and snoozed for a few minutes. I walked around in a daze, jealous of Grace sleeping while being cuddled in the baby snuggly.

And it is such a good tired. The kind of tired after a good work-out; the kind of tired when you know you're doing a job well done. I'm tired, and I've never felt so fulfilled day after day. It really is amazing. I'm not totally organized - I did two loads of laundry and folded one - I did not make it to the grocery store - I'm still writing out thank you cards - I'm hopelessly behind on my real writing projects - I am content.

This evening's verse before the Canticle of Mary prayer is Acts 3:6 - Peter said, 'I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, [rise and] walk.'

The beauty of living out one's purpose, one's vocation, is that one's soul is happy. The work load may be heavy or tedious or crabby, but the reasons for your work is in its fruits. I still can't believe how blessed I am to be married to Will and doubly blessed with our daughter. God is so good, and works through all the cracks of our flaws and failures to lead us on the path of salvation.

I fully admit that I'm a bit terrified of being a stay-at-home mom. I'll still be writing and editing, but even that has taken a backseat through my rough pregnancy and now recovering postpartum time. My mom worked outside the home while I was growing up (her vocation is in medicine as well as being a mom!), so my main influence has been a work-home balance. Fortunately, most of my mom's side as well as my mother-in-law stayed home with her kids, so I'll have many sounding boards.

Friends, how do you walk in this life? Is there a hop in your step or do you drag your heels? Do you consider your job part of your vocation or more of a career which will you will gladly relinquish one day?

Annnnnnnnd she's asleep (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). And so I adieu, adieu, to you, and you, and you! This zombie needs to re-charge her batteries.

I'm Gonna Scream! And Shout! And Let It All Out!

One week ago, I was in the worst pain EVAH. I was having contractions and was up to six cm. The epidural was coming soon...

BUT WAIT! This ain't no birth story. (I'll write one soon.) This is a birth announcement!

On September 26, 2013 at 1:29 a.m., my sweet baby Grace was born.

Right after they handed her to me

Grace and her Dad

Grace is the prettiest baby you ever did see!

Sorry for the radio silence - we've been enjoying our newest addition to the family.

Happiness.

Sleepy time

Grace Harriet Baldwin

To be continued!

Ain't No Party Like A Due Date Party

Greetings from Chez Baldwin! I'm fixing pancakes because, heck, why not. We're having a due date party! Minus Bebe.

Look! I'm full-term!

Baby, you don't know the party you're missing! Please come soon!

Hi from us!

What I did today: cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry, paid bills, updated our expenses, took a nap, watched Monk, did some editing and writing, and updated everyone on baby's lack of arrival.

"The Lord is good/ a refuge on the day of distress;/ He takes care of those who have recourse to him." (Nahum 1:7)

#7QT: Kill with Kindness

Four days till my due date... and that's all the baby news I have. Holla back to Jen!

{one}

Pope Francis and his awesome interview - my thoughts here at Ignitum Today, "Whom Would Kindness Kill More: Them or You?" on the interview and the spiritual work of mercy of comforting the afflicted.

{two}

This week I made two larger meals out of the ground beef we bought. One was spaghetti and meatballs, the other was a casserole. Will does not like cooked vegetables, which is a good reminder to me to think more before I make a big meal of foods I like, because then I have to finish them. Since we don't eat meat on Fridays, this pushes leftovers back even further. Sadly, I am already over both these meals (and ground beef) and onto my next culinary adventure dreams...

Crock pot time!

Will requested a rump roast, and I found this recipe for Pioneer Woman’s Perfect Pot Roast; its only flaw is that it lacks potatoes, though, which we have an abundance of - it seems like I could add more vegetables too (for my own benefit).

Natalie of The Busy Budgeting Mama posted Round 3 of her freezer crock pot meals, and they look delicious. She also posted the recipes + grocery list, because she is an angel.

I also found this recipe for balsamic vinaigrette, Will's favorite dressing, so we can eat happy salad this week. BOOM. VEGETABLES.

Do y'all have any favorite crock pot or make ahead meals?

{three}

The Myers-Briggs test - have you ever had yourself personality tested? Will and I took it at our pre-cana retreat, and I'm glad I wrote it down for reference! I am an ISFJ (married to a ESTP! Which, I was thrilled to read later, is the natural pair to my personality - isn't that fascinating?).

I mention it because Jen asked in her 7QT, if our personality was a song, what would it be?

I've picked Natalie Merchant's "Wonder":



What is your personality type?! What is your song? (It's subjective - just pick one!)

{four}

The coolest part of reading my personality "portrait" were my different career starting points:

ISFJs have two basic traits which help define their best career direction: 1) they are extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling, and 2) they enjoy creating structure and order, and are extremely good at it. Ideally, the ISFJ will choose a career in which they can use their exceptional people-observation skills to determine what people want or need, and then use their excellent organizational abilities to create a structured plan or environment for achieving what people want.

One of my possible career paths is child care, and as silly as it sounds, it was exactly what I needed to read today. Nannying for almost two years was my most favorite job - more than writing, more than editing. I have high hopes for this mommy job!

{five}

Here is a just found picture from my MIL's camera! Will and I where we got engaged, 6 months into our marriage, right before we moved to NOLA.

{six}

Okay people, taking a poll about my bloggy-blog. I'm thinking of changing the name to "The Julie View" (same as my Twitter handle) from "The Corner with a View" (for simplicity's sake). I'm not in the mood to start a new blog, just fixin' up the original for now. May even add a tagline... and an actual, personalized header!

{seven}

I miss my family! But they're having a good time anyways.

Four of the six of us

The dogs in my sister's high school uniform shirts

Oh hey, E!

Happy Friday, everybody!!

The Need for Self-Care

Originally published at The Mirror Magazine

Last Sunday, I drove two and a half hours to a beach in Alabama with my husband and a friend, chatting and laughing and singing along to the radio and our CD collection. A couple hours later, we were driving back to New Orleans, with white sand stuck to all the crevices and skin (and in our hair), sunburns, and conversations that would dwindle off as a favorite song came into play.

Once we crossed back over the border into Louisiana, I asked my husband to drive because I was so tired. The waves had been strong and full, white-capping and carrying our bodies forward and onward. It takes strength to stand up against the tide, even when you dig your feet into the sand and swear you shan't move. But moving isn't the problem - it's where you end up. Let yourself get swayed, and you'll end up 20 feet down the beach. But maybe that's where the adventure starts? As I sat on the sand in the late afternoon and watched the sand crabs dive into their holes, I thought: this is self-care.

Self-care "refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development." Self-care starts with self-awareness.

What are you able to do? What do you want to do? Why are you feeling this way?

My husband likes reading on the beach between swims, and our friend took at least one nap on her towel, but as I was less than two weeks away from my due date (a week now!), I cannot lie on a towel without needing Will to physically help me up again or sit comfortably near the hot sand for so long. So, I thought, what do I want to do? And it was a wonderful feeling. I went and sat on the lower part of the beach, and let the waves wash over my legs and my belly, where my baby pokes me and teases me.

It's taken me nine months to get to the point where I can sit in the sand. I've never taken leisure time very seriously. There was work time, vacation time, quality time (with friends and/or family), chore time and productive time. Even sleep time got the short end of the stick, more often than not.

Leisure is not the same as self-care, but it can feel that way to me. Instead of being optional, however, self-care is possibly one of the most important things a person can do for herself. Self-care is a recognition of your limitations, a want to improve, and a desire for sanity. If a person does not relax, their body will become ragged and force rest upon them in forms of sickness or exhaustion, mental and physical.

Source

Self-care can come from necessity - my pregnancy forced me to re-evaluate how I never took time to rest. Self-care must become a habit, verses a special occasion.

I've focused my self-care on four areas: daily prayer, daily exercise, daily writing, and naps.

I've taken small steps - morning prayer, and daily mass once a week. Exercise for 30 minutes. Writing without publishing.

I learned to nap. I learned to sit down and watch. I learned that it was okay being passive, as long as you didn't get stuck there. I learned that it was okay to let people help you, and admit that you can't handle a work load.

This week, I think I'll paint my nails. I've organized the closets and re-written the chore and grocery list, for my own peace of mind. Now, to finish a few bigger projects and book reviews!

How do you self-care, reader? Do you self-care? Why or why not? What is holding you back if you're not?