Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Oh, It's Love

I heard Train's "If It's Love" on the radio yesterday while driving home from work and have since decided that this is the most realistically pro-family, pro-marriage, pro-real love song currently in mainstream music. Don't believe me? Listen to it!

And here's a few favorite stanzas, just for kicks:

"I confess you are the best thing in my life/ But I'm afraid when I hear stories/ About a husband and wife/ There's no happy endings/ No Henry Lee/ But you are the greatest thing about me"

Chorus: "If it's love/ And we decide that it's forever/ No one else could do it better/ If it's love/ And we're two birds of a feather/ Then the rest is just whenever/ And if I'm addicted to loving you/ And you're addicted to my love too/ We can be them two birds of a feather/ That flock together/ Love, love/ Got to have something to keep us together/ Love, Love/ That's enough for me"

"We can travel to Spain where the rain falls/ Mainly on the plain side and sing/ sounds insane 'cause it is/ we can laugh, we can sing/ Have ten kids and give them everything"

Living with my family again makes me appreciate realistic and traditional relationships like my parents' (who celebrated their 25th anniversary this past summer) in these times when people attempt to re-define marriage without any regard to gender and the role it plays in society or consequences of actions. 

Life has not been rainbows and bunnies, but it has been the good life. My dad does his utmost best for my mom and us kids. My mom turned down med school on her own volition because she wanted to raise a lot of kids (she still works, still has the white lab coat- just an alternate role). My parents are very different people, but they have a solid working relationship, keep the faith, and put their kids first. I'm definitely lucky; there is a comfort in knowing my parents will never separate, even when issues arise, and that has taught me a lot.

My family in Michigan, Summer 2007
People who do not have many kids are really missing out. I mean that. Having a big family is hard, fun, challenging and provides more unconditional love than I know what to do with. My siblings and I joke about how we can always tell when people are only children. They might as well have a neon sign over their head, because their interrelating skills makes them a prime example of why people having more kids really would make this world a better place.*

My big family (nuclear and extended) makes me think about others and focus my energy on giving to them as they give to me. Relationships are a lot about compromise and so is love. Not compromising values, but priorities- I'd rather read a book than empty the dishwasher, for example, or sleep in than take a sibling to school early in the morning, but the latters help the family and the formers help me.

A lot of my friends have moved out of town and are having adventures elsewhere. They don't know if they'll come back. My college friends are dispersing too. But, like my mom, I made a choice too. I've moved back to my hometown. Life is a series of choices and consequences. I was offered a fellowship in DC for post-college employment, but when I got the phone call, I saw my future life flash before my eyes: I would work all the time. I would be paid to write about politics. Life would seriously be the bomb-diggity. I wouldn't know how to leave.

That's when it hit me. I didn't want that life. My former boss told a co-worker and I once that we shouldn't have kids until much later in life because our life would stop. All we'd do is take care of the kids. We wouldn't be able to travel or have any fun anymore, essentially. 

I completely disagree. People who don't think kids are fun are bores. Kids will put their little bodies in sleeping bags and propel themselves down steep steps. Kids can color for hours. Kids make intricate plots involving the same Barbies/ Play mobiles/ Legos and use different voices for different characters to boot. Kids are little sponges and actually want to learn and grow into little humans. At least, that's what my experience has been, and was my childhood.

Your mother probably warned you about us.
Today is an exciting day! First off, today is Founders Day for my sorority, which was founded 140 years ago today. Secondly, it is Margaret Thatcher's 85th birthday. Finally and most importantly, it is my sister's 21st birthday! Yes, she is still this cool:

Have a great day!

*Trent posted an article from the Weekly Standard entitled "America's One-Child Policy" that is worth a read.


  1. 10 Kids!!! That's like my family. I am going to have to play this for my parents who are going to celebrate 40 years next year. I can't wait. I am trying to send them to Austria for two weeks!!! I want a big family too. But not 10. It's hard with ten. My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary along with the high school graduation of their last child. That's a little much I think, although I sure am grateful for their work and their efforts with each of us. I think 5 is good. But then again, it's not really just up to me is it. Just not three. I will tell you later if you want to know, but I refuse to have three children. Have a great Thursday, Julie! Happy Birthday to your sister too!!! Take her to the Hofbrau house when you get a chance!

  2. I am guessing it has something to do with being uneven... but nice idea about the Hofbrau House! I love that place!