Live Lent: A Challenge In Itself

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Today, at Ash Wednesday mass, I cried. A lot. My husband asked me what was wrong and I shooed away his concerns. Some times, when you feel repentant and the force of God's mercy and grace in your life, you just need to express those feelings. So I did, and took five tissues down with me.

I've been carrying a lot of weight on my shoulders lately. I'm tired. For all the blessings I am thankful for, I often finding myself begging God for a little reprieve.



Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 RSV).

And frankly, during the "Jesus, Remember Me in Your Kingdom" sing-a-long after Holy Communion, I almost lost it. Fortunately, B. was there to hold my hand and keep singing. I am continually reminded how truly blessed I am to be married to him.

I have a feeling this Lent is not going to be an easy one for me. For one thing, work is going to be more intense for the next three weeks, and that is surely not a coincidence.

Therefore, this Lent, I am doing three things:

Lent 2013: It's All About Attitude

Praying the Rosary every night with my husband, in addition to night prayers.

Offering up my bitterness toward people who inadvertently upset me, and praying for them instead. (E.g. the woman who came to mass with the flu; the woman who drove into the crosswalk so as to cut off 2 seconds before the next stop light 15 feet later while the 2 y.o. and I were out walking; etc. ... as my husband says, it sounds like I am still working on this one. I am. All 40 days.)

I am not biting off more than I can chew this Lenten season. The power of "NO" or "NOT NOW" - I must find it! I do this all the time, which is often the reason I am tired. Just one more... article... or... well... what am I writing about again? It's also the reason one table at our apartment is completely covered in organized piles of "stuff" which I shall truly organize once I publish this post.

The priest at mass today reminded us that penance is necessary, even though people are essentially good, because we could all be better. Even though I am not making it a Lenten promise, I'll be returning more frequently to the sacrament of Reconciliation this Lent, and I hope you'll join me in a renewal of our soul, mind and commitment to following Christ.

I'd also love to pray for you! Anything. Nothing is too silly to pray about it. Let me know.

If you're on Twitter, join #ashtag to share you and your ashes! You can also e-mail the USCCB, who is collecting pictures of people with their ashes. My ashes are hard to see today.

All glory to God in the highest!

Death & Love

"Death & Love" by Rita A. Simmonds

Is it possible to love to the point of death,
Willingly, I say willingly?

No healthy balance.
No give and take.
But death --
One's final breath?

I do not talk of suicide,
an act of hate
that sees nothing
and cannot wait.
Nor Romeo
who couldn't see
that death was not love's enemy.
I talk of death
love's secret lover,
who reveals the essence of the other.
A grain of wheat,
small, separated, fallen, alone,
that hits the ground without a sound
can remain consoled
knowing what it carries,
why it fell,
and when it's buried
what it still carries --
(and years from now
the field's glory
that sways the story
will want to know and tell).

But if we see no resurrection,
no golden field above the ground,
how do we die now?
And how can we say we will it so
when death is no true lover's goal?
Yet have we seen a heart let go
if love is what it holds?

From Magnificat's 2011 Lenten companion book 


Happy Ash Wednesday, friends.

Dust Thou Art, and Unto Dust Shalt Thou Return

Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite days of the entire year. Yes, so it's a day of fasting, but I look forward to the service and the mass. It's a wonderful way to start the Lenten season. I love getting the little black cross on my forehead.

Ash Wednesday is not a Holy Day of Obligation, but it is highly encouraged to go. During the service, the priest puts ashes on the foreheads of the congregation in the sign of the cross as a visible sign of repentance, saying "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return." The ashes come from the previous year's palms from Palm Sunday, which I think is neat. It is like completing the cycle. It's always interesting gauging the reactions from non-Catholics and witnessing for the faith on campus and off (like last year, when I was traveling to DC; very interesting having my bold, black ashes in the airport).

"Repent, and believe in the Gospel." -Mark 1:15

T.S. Eliot's Ash Wednesday is a wonderful read.

"This Time of Forty Days" is pretty funny, Catholic humor-wise...



Blessings on your day, and peace on your mind.