In Thanks: Dr. Daniel Sundahl

One of my most favorite professors is retiring... and since I may have cried writing this e-mail/ letter to him earlier this week, I share part of it in honor of a man whose lectures had a profound influence on my life. He taught me in three classes over three years. Thanks for your 30+ years of service, Dr. Sundahl: here's to going fishing and laughing forever with Ellen!

“If you gather apples in the sunshine… and shut your eyes, you shall see the apples hanging in the bright light.” ("Intellect", Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I can still see myself in your classes, thinking more than talking; scribbling notes; absorbing. The synesthesia of education; the poetry of life. Even now, my one year old is crawling under my desk - she hands me a button. She is calling out for her Dad, whose office she just crawled from to my hole, filled with boxes of notes and old papers and letters from friends. Grace doesn’t know about weeping phoebes or Neibuhr’s “The Children of the Light and the Children of Darkness” (though she thinks it has to do with nap time), and she has yet to recognize what being American is culturally.

But I like to read her Frost’s poems as I combat the weaknesses of my own nature to feel sad. The hurt and bitterness that my baby had an unexplained stroke when she was in utero, and the want for her individuality to always define her - not her struggles. How her triumphs in crawling, pulling up, and now, beginning to try to walk come from her inner drive and potential. I thrive knowing she is part of a wider story.

When she was first diagnosed at 8 months, it was scary. She didn’t show the symptoms of a bad stroke - and I kept my fears holed up for a few months, until I began to write about them, and more about Grace, and share the grandeur of my little baby. To preserve the memories, and allow myself to feel deeply and develop my poetical consciousness in order to better tell our family’s journey through cerebral palsy, through residency, through my own teaching now (in U.S. History), and through life; “And of course there must be something wrong/ In wanting to silence any song.” ("A Minor Bird", Robert Frost)

Thank you for teaching me the importance of a story, of a song, of a poem. Thank you for being my teacher.

Five Favorites (v. 4)

I need a few of these things to make my day extra lovely:

{one}

Anthropologie monogram mugs are beautiful and functional. Most of our mugs match our dinner ware - a lovely white with a navy blue rim - but it's nice to have a mug of your own for mid-morning coffee or late night tea.

I have the "j" one from my brother's girlfriend

{two}

LaCroix sparkling water - I am constantly trying to drink more water, and my sister-in-law introduced me to LaCroix to counteract my coffee dehydration. I stopped drinking soda when I was in the eighth grade, and I adore the bubbly without the extra sweetness, calories or sodium. I love the lemon! I stock up whenever I see them on sale.

{three}

My personalized address stamp from Three Designing Women was a Christmas gift from my MIL two Christmases ago, and once we finally got settled in New Orleans, I ordered it and use it constantly for thank you notes, personal correspondence, and bills. The gift that keeps on giving - and when we move in June, I'll be able to order a new stamp for our new address and insert it into the stamp holder! The hardest part was picking only one design!

{four}

My Saints calendar and 16 month planner gives me enough space to plan articles, outings with Grace, exercise, and dinner. In return, the planner gives me a weekly saint bio, a quotation every month, and tells me what feast day it is (today is the Seven Holy Founders of the Order of Servites and St. Eulalia), as well daily prayers, patron saints, and other interesting Church tidbits.

{five}

Clementines are the fruit of the season, and they are like candy! I've been eating a lot of them lately, and they make me and my tummy very, very happy.

Join Hallie here!

What Would You Write To A Baby?

Meg at Held By His Pierced Hands wrote a fantastic note to her new baby niece, part of which is excerpted here:

 Because, sweet one, you are so loveable and you are so loved. Your parents have loved you since the moment they knew about you and maybe even longer. They have longed for you and ached for you. You are a miracle. And oh, darling girl, this life is going to be so hard on you. People will hurt you and ignore you.

You will fail in ways that seem earth-shattering. There will be days when you don't know why you bother. But I have seen through to the other side of suffering and I know that there is joy. Through the darkness of heartbreak and mourning, dawn breaks again, brighter even than before.

Hope, dear one. Trust that there is meaning in life, in suffering, even.When you can't see the purpose, step back to look at the beauty of this world. Sit in a dimly lit room with Nora Jones and a cup of peppermint tea. Keep company with Claude Monet and John Donne. Just once, climb a mountain by yourself to watch the sunset from the top. And when your heart aches beyond imagining, Rachmaninov.

Fight for the weak (I know your daddy will teach you that), rejoice in beauty, read till your eyes hurt (Mommy will be proud), and oh, baby girl, love until you have nothing left. That's what makes life great. As you take on this world, I wish you passion and joy, a cause to fight for, and a home that comforts your weary heart. I wish you a life filled with beauty and laughter and music and simple pleasures. I wish you a love that calls you out of yourself and makes you greater. I wish you an open heart and an open mind and the wisdom to cling to what is true. I wish you strength to endure suffering and loving arms to hold you up when your strength is gone. I wish you loyal friends who challenge you. I wish you peace but never complacency, success in many things but not all, and a life of laughter tinged with tears. I wish you a road that sometimes seems too steep, sometimes too rocky, sometimes too dull, and I wish you the determination to press on. Dear heart, I wish you a wild, mixed-up, terrifying, joyful, confusing, incredible life.

Sweet girl, I love you already! I'm counting down the days. 

 I think this is a lovely idea. I only have one married friend couple whom have a baby, and then one of my best friends is preggers and skipping my wedding so she can have her peanut. I just visited the aforementioned couple last weekend, and I have until December for the second - so I think it's time to start writing letters to babies!

What would you write to a baby?

Dating with Distance

Last night, B. told me he now has to work six days a week.

As the child of two workaholics, working six days a week is not unusual. Growing up, Dad would take us to the office with him on Saturday so that we could help out or do our homework without too many distractions.

But now, I see such a schedule differently. B., for those unawares, is my boyfriend. We live two hours apart, and until I went to Asia a little over two months ago, the distance did not bother me. This summer, however, has been a busy one for both of us, especially as he is now in his rotations, which are less flexible than class and studying, since he has to actually be at the hospital. His work schedule, combined with the need to sleep and the time it takes to travel, is going to sharply cut any time we wish to spend with each other. I am, how you say? nicht sehr amusiert. (That is, "not very amused" - I'm practicing German for my upcoming trip! My accent is horrible.)

Aww, shucks

I've always considered the distance between us as a buffer; a no man's land, where one of us would cross every weekend. I'm an independent person, see. The distance provided that lovely balance of work-home-relationship. I think having distance between us has helped us advance and pace the relationship, and allows for more creative modes of communication, like sending letters, writing poems, and sharing articles.

It was B. who saw deeper into Max Lindenman's piece "On Dating Nice Catholic Girls" than any of the Bright Maidens. After reading the original article and the three responses, B. told me we had missed the subtle point.

"His problem," said B., "was not with the girls he dated; it was that he didn't feel special in the relationships."

I took the bait; I re-read the article. By golly, B. was right! Mr. Lindenman had written (and how had I missed it?):

Like the husband who suspects his wife of cheating, I began hunting for clues to confirm my fear, not trusting myself wholly to acknowledge them. Nevertheless, it became clear, a case for an emotional trade deficit could be made. Whereas I had a handful of friends and two hands full of enemies, Melissa was all chatty charity with everyone she met, from me to the cashier at Souper Salad. The same thoughts she murmured to me as we lay entwined of an evening would turn up the next morning on her LiveJournal page, edited for tense agreement. 

If Melissa made any distinction between public and private, friendship and love, my eyes were not tuned finely enough to see it.

As a writer, this passage spoke especially close to home: I'm chatty with the grocery store clerk and most people who cross my path. I talk through my thoughts with B., but also with my family, Elizabeth and Trista, and a handful of friends whose minds engage my own more broadly. This is how I was before I started dating B., and how I continue to be. Is that so wrong? Does my outreach to people and need for interaction of ideas with others lessen my attachment to my boyfriend?

I do not think so, and neither does B. (I asked.) Not feeling special is a symptom to a bigger problem, me thinks: communication. The above author and his girlfriend spent ample amount of time together, but, in the end, went separate paths because she was not ready for "the epic plunge of love" and he, from what I gathered from the re-reads, grew jealous of her indiscriminate openness. He wanted more to be sacred between them. As he wrote, almost sadly, "There's a great deal to be said for nice Catholic girls: the up-front quality, all those depths made visible, like the ocean in a color-coded map."

I'll go 360 in a minute; back to formulating my thesis. Dating with distance: it's manageable.

Sure, I miss him, hug the family dog Heidi more, play tennis because he can't (being in rotations and all), keep busy with my family, writing and reading, talk to him when possible (his bed time is now hours before mine) and [try to remember to] write letters. He's currently taunting me with another idea for a poem (he's incredibly witty).

As my Dad advised me, as in any relationship, it's all about priorities. I've found, though, it is more about patience.

(Watch it, if just for the scenery!)

I struggle with patience, but I'm starting to find the distance sanctifying, and I'm beginning to gain amazing insights into it. The distance could be worse even, and not geographically.

The tagline of The Painted Veil (one of my favorite movies) is "Sometimes the greatest distance is between two people." These two people, however, were married and lived together. B. and I are not married and do not live together. Yet, without forgetting that I am comparing my relationship to a fictional one, we have much better communication. More importantly, we have honest communication.

B.'s honesty is one of his best traits, and, combined with unfailing upfrontness, we's like peas and carrots. I read recently that "honesty is very rare". So many relationships could avoid the awkward or feeling like a waiting room by a want to be honest. You have to desire honesty first, and there are plenty of ways to be tactful and polite without keeping another person wondering, especially when you're already dating that person.

Girls enjoy over-analyzing everything. I'm of the opinion that analyzing a person is not the same as getting to know them. Moreover, over-analyzation shows mistrust. It says, there is more there, and I want to know. But if you're not asking the questions to the person directly, you're not going to get the answers you so desire. I trust B., because he's honest with me when we disagree. If we had been more interested in impressing each other when we first met, we might have kept our, ahem, stronger opinions to ourselves.

Honesty isn't just bluntness; it's a desire to share the real you. This is the kind of connection distance cannot lessen. When you have a real connection with a person, three things happen:
A) You seek their thoughts, and to honestly share your own
B) You want to be a better person
C) You see opportunity in difficulty (to paraphrase Churchill)

I remember my friend Andrew, another medical student, telling me about an alcoholic who hurt his foot. He did not personally care what happened to him, but he cared about his dog, and thus sought medical care. The take-away-point was, can disease be a blessing? Andrew saw how it was a blessing for that man. It changed his whole perspective on life and the choices he was making.

B. and me!

Distance can be, and is, a blessing in my relationship with B. This does not mean the time between us is any easier or more joy-filled, but rather, the blessing B. is to me provides a pathway to offer up my current frustrations to God.

Jacob had to wrestle God till dawn before he extracted a blessing from him, and I expect these coming months will provide ample opportunity to test such enduring faithfulness. My initial unhappiness at the knowledge that I am going to see him at most one day a week (and, most likely, less some weeks) is being overcome by praying and practicing patience. If God's will be done, then these next months apart will be blips on my soul's sonar.

More on this later, but if you have any thoughts or ideas, please share them with me. On a completely unrelated note, my Catholic Sexuality series posts that were supposed to start going up today are delayed one week. Thanks for your patience!

Creative Minority Report!

In the rural hills of Tennessee, it's been raining all day, so I've been writing letters and posts, reading books, and watching the endless number of checkers games between various members of my family. (Another perk of a big family: so many contenders!)

I, of course, found a way to pick up the internetz and wandered over to my blog. Once there, I found I was getting traffic from one of my favorite blogs, Creative Minority Report. Not that I mind, but my curiosity was piqued.


Heidi says, inquiring minds want to know!


That's when I found the source of the increased traffic: CMR has picked up my blog and put it under their "Some of Our Favorites" section.

Pat and Matt, I'm geeking out. Truly honored. Thanks, guys!

And to everyone else who lists me and whom I've failed to give personal shout-out to: I know who you are, and I thank you. It's so rewarding having such great folks to write for!

Here are five more things to geek out about:

1. I'm meeting B.'s entire extended family tomorrow. On our way home from Tenneessee, we were going to stop by and have dinner with his immediate family. Now, the entire extended family is in town to visit before the end of summer/ school starts. In fairness, my immediate family about doubles his, so now it's a bit more evened out/ my family will be outnumbered for once.

2. My brother turned 19 a few days ago. There was a birthday party for a little boy at the table next to us, so after we loudly (obnoxiously) sang happy birthday to him, this older lady came over and sweetly asked who was having a birthday. Mikey said it was him, and the lady gave him two pieces of cake and a happy birthday napkin. Now, isn't that Southern hospitality!


Mike wore the napkin as a hat, obviously - what else are napkins for?


3. Fellow upholders of good grammar, behold- my friend Z. sent this to me today: "The Alot is Better Than You At Everything" by Hyperbole and a Half.



Who needs a grammar nazi when you've got an ALOT?



Lookin' good!



4. The Post Office has new American Scientist stamps. I bought two sheets and am celebrating by writing letters to friends. The stamps feature four scientists:

--Severo Ochoa (biochemist): first to synthesize RNA and complete the race to decipher the genetic code)

--Maria Goeppert Mayer (physicist): developed a theoretical model that helped explain the structure of the atomic nucleus)

--Asa Gray (botonist): one of the first professional botanists in the U.S., where he advanced the specialized field of plant geography) and

--Melvin Calvin (chemist): the first scientist to trace in detail the process of photosynthesis AND conducted pioneering reseach using plants as an alternative energy source).

I like being on vacation, I like new stamps and I like having time to write letters! I've been naughty about sending them, especially in these past two months since coming back to Asia. When's the last time you've written someone an honest-to-goodness handwritten letter? Go write one and then support another monopolistic branch of the government: they're millions of dollars of debt and only commercialized holidays and avid epistolary communication can save them now!

5. In a strange turn of events, my baby sister and I were researching chocolate and found out that chocolate was not invented in its solid form until 1847. Does anyone else remember the scene in Ever After where the prince gives the girl a piece of chocolate and said it was from monks? LIES, HOLLYWOOD. And bad history.

Exactly one month till I leave for Germany with my sister Kato. Oh, another game of Crazy Eights is starting. Ciao!

Atlas Shrugged?

I don't normally share personal correspondence on my blog, but this e-mail is so well-written that I immediately texted D. to see if I could. The writer is a dear friend; a goodly Protestant with a wise mind. I am not going to supplement this with anything, because I haven't the time and I don't want to distract from his fine words. Without further adieu, my friend:

early morning
11 January, 2011
Wisconsin

Dear Julie,

Regarding your comment today (yesterday?) about individuals and uniformity I have two thoughts. I think the question was something along the lines of "why are people so caught up with being idividuals while demanding uniformity?" (actually, I know--thanks, chat logs!). Somewhere--and I cannot for the life of me remember where--I have heard a fairly good argument on this. Essentially the idea is that our modern idea of individuality is so touted and built up, but ultimately and more likely early on lacking for any individual who pursues it. But think about this a minute longer--where do the standards or credentials of 'individuality' come from? For almost every American schoolboy they come from his culture and peers or particular group. "I gotta be me" is actually a twisted form of "I gotta be cool...like him" in most cases.

Happy 2011!

Another year has come and passed, and in less than three months, I'll be 23. Great Scott!

Okay: New Years Resolutions. I don't usually make 'em. I don't like making promises I don't keep a month later, usually because of sloth. But... I was very naughty in December 2010 and bought a "few" more than usual fantastic books. Now, I don't regret buying the books, but if I want to travel more, I am going to have to curb my purchases since aggressively paying off my student loans takes a big bite out of my paycheck every month. So, here goes:

Resolution #1: Buy no more than three books a month.  

This will be difficult. Brief poll: do academic books count?

Resolution #2:  Write more letters than blog posts.

My friend Tessa and I formed the St. Francis Society (SFS) for all epistolary communication a year or so ago. I am thinking about branching out the membership. (St. Francis is the patron saint of writers, and we think letter writers should be included.) Also, I've noticed since graduating that I tend to write a huge stack of letters every few months; I think I should write less letters on a more frequent basis, like I did in college. It'll help break up stress too!

Resolution #3: Not eat meat on Fridays.

I've always admired people who sacrifice that one day. We've never done it in our family, but I know other families and friends who do. It isn't quite fasting, but it's something physical and manageable I can offer up to God, since I eat meat every day (Lent notwithstanding).

Resolution #4: Regularly review Latin vocabulary.

Latin is coming up a lot more in readings that I am doing, and it annoys me that I know the grammar syntax and construction but am becoming pretty shaky on actually translating. I intend to remedy this! I'm afraid, though, it will be another type of purgatory, those horrible character building things necessary for life, because one cannot enjoy the joy of translating at sight without the hours of dull memorizing.

What do y'all think about resolutions? Do you make them and follow them? Or do you think they're made to be broken? What are they?

Hurray for another year of life! Happy 2011! Only a few more days left in the Christmas season, so enjoy them.

Ave, Maria!

Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception! This feast day is a holy day of obligation for the Catholic Church. It is the solemnity celebrating the conception of Mary (not Jesus in Mary) because she, by the grace of God, was born without original sin so that she would be worthy of hold Jesus in her womb.

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us!

Just so we're on the same page: Roman Catholics do not worship Mary. We venerate her and seek her as an intercessor. Per Jesum ad Mariam-- to Jesus through Mary. She is worthy of our praise (not worship, she is not divine) because she is the Mother of God the Son. This is not to say that we cannot go to Jesus directly ourselves, but it is just another way of getting to know him. When you are getting to know a guy (or really, any person), don't you want to meet his family?

This is a really great video explaining the importance of Mary through Scripture:



Today is also the 30th anniversary of John Lennon getting shot and killed. I am not a huge fan of him or Yoko Ono, but The American Conservative ran an article on him today called "Stop Imagining" which is quite good.

First batch of Christmas cards were sent Monday, but the next batch will have to wait: 1031 position paper due asap, article due next Monday, the galley proofs for The Key's winter issue just arrived in my inbox and I am helping my cousin pack up her apartment this weekend. I'm also seeing Narnia with a group Saturday and taking a good friend out for a belated birthday dinner. Is it seriously the middle of the week? (The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things...!)

Oh, and James Taranto e-mailed me back. If you do not know who he is, he runs a section of the WSJ and is fantastic (he writes the best headlines too!). I enjoyed yesterday's "Birther of the Nation" so much that I sent him an e-mail telling him so, because I am a big believer in giving feedback. He e-mailed me back today. BLISS.

A final thought: My friend Joy asked in a FB status what Beowulf would say in a toast. I wrote: Beowulf's wedding toast, as translated by Julie Robison: "May your fate be better than Grendel's, and your bride a better temperment than Grendel's mother's; may your mead always be abundant and your mead hall always merry; and may you have no fear when time demands it, and courage when others need it. Here, here!"

Then that got me thinking-- if you were to give a toast (wedding or otherwise) in the voice of a literary character, whom would you imitate and what would you say? (And if you give me a good one, I'll post it in tomorrow's poem of the week post!)

Happy Wednesday! Stay warm folks!

One of the 3 Hillsdale Engagements this weekend... some things never change!

This past weekend, one of my dearest friends got engaged to Matt, one of the kindest and most awesome guys ever. To say I am excited is an understatement.

Matt, her now fiance, is from the Chicago 'burbs too. They are in the same parish, although it was more through their parents matchmaking that they got to know each other. He surprised Julia on her way to confession on late Saturday afternoon. Then they went to 5 p.m. mass together and after mass, they prayed for a while until everyone was gone from the church. Then he proposed to her in the aisle. I can't think of a more perfect place for Julia to have been proposed at, or by a better guy. Maybe in Italy or at the Vatican, but that seems a little over the top. He said he felt bad crashing our Hillsdale weekend together, but I say, the more the merrier! Especially when fantastic engagements are afoot.


Julia and I met at mass too, our sophomore year. We had both been invited to Sigma Chi's formal and of the entire formal group, but only four of us went to mass the next morning. I didn't know her before that (she is a Pi Phi and I'm a Kappa), but we became friends in Birzer's Civil War class the following semester and besties after going to Notre Dame for research purposes.


When I called my family last night on my drive home, I told my 12-year-old brother the news, and he asked, "Is he Italian? Because nothing less will do!" I laughed and said no, even better-- he's Irish! Just like us. He said that would do too. So now Matt has Julia's parents approval, my approval and my 12-year-old brother's approval. Oh, and Julia's too, which I suppose is important.


My weekend at Hillsdale was short, but really wonderful. I saw more people than I planned; it was nice that so many people were excited to see me. I have a couple friends doing an extra semester, and am pretty close with a decent number of underclassmen and Kappas, as well as former professors and their families.

I especially loved the time I spent with my former advisor's family. I went to the five-year-old's soccer game in the morning, had dinner at their house that night and sat with them at mass in the morning. I am especially popular with the 3 and 5-year old, whom I carried and held hands with going up to communion. They rotated climbing into my lap and having me hold them during mass. It was really adorable. One of the funniest parts was after mass, though, happened when I was walking with the whole family to their van and the 3-year-old wouldn't get in the car.


"If you don't get in the car," said my advisor, "Julie is going to take you back to Ohio with her."


"Okay!" he said, and wrapped his body around my leg.


The ducklings (my collective nickname for my advisor's five kids) treat me like a human jungle gym, so I am surprised my body isn't sore today from having them climb all over me. Their favorite thing to do is flips (I hold their hands and bend my knees a bit for balance, and then they "climb" up my legs toward my torso and then flip over! They love it). I also found out that my siblings taught the kids how to play Mafia at my graduation night dinner and now they're teaching their cousins how to play. Glad we've been such a good influence on them! I owe the ducklings a round of hide and seek the next time I come in town. And let me tell you: ducklings never forget promises like that.


Today I am going to finish working on my grant proposal because, once I am done, my boss says I can go. It's nice and weird at the same time. I'm really leaving. The family is coming up till this weekend to get the last of my stuff/ furniture, so I am looking forward to getting my affairs in order, writing letters to people based on who will appreciate my Sunday Funnies stamps, sleeping [more] and reading. So I am essentially receiving a short but paid vacation.


Oh, and I'm going to start writing a speech about Julia for next October, when I will be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I think I'll start by telling the story about the night before we left for the March For Life junior year, and the two bottles of wine we consumed, even though we had to be at the bus by 4:30 a.m. Or when we used to make our bananas into bananaphones. Or champagne nights in the Arb. Or our retreat in Ann Arbor with the amazing Dominican Mary, Mother of the Eucharist nuns. Or the night Bear and I met Matt for the first time in Chicago at the Elephant and Castle, and teased him the entire time. Or our epic quest for a hotdog in D.C. Or--well, I shan't spoil the all surprises. After all, what are besties for?

Poems Like This Remind Me Why I Love Calvin & Hobbes

A former teacher of mine, an Austrian economist by vocation, and I are pen-pals. I sent him a brief note and poem in June and he returned the favor in July. He sent this poem in his letter, which I received this past Tuesday.

"Leisure" by W. H. Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Over the holiday weekend, I went home and read through one of the many Calvin and Hobbes books my family owns. Calvin and Hobbes, perhaps the greatest comic strip ever drawn, chronicles six-year-old Calvin, his stuffed tiger Hobbes and his imagination. This poem, although beautiful on its own, seems to me something Bill Watterson could have synchronized into the strip in a very clever way.

I love pie!

Have I ever mentioned my huge weakness for pie? Huge. Specifically fruit pies: apple, cherry, peach, blackberry and even blueberry--oh, and cobbler. Cobbler is also delectable.

Today is my 3 day mark of working in the real world. I've survived my new job 3 days. I have 2 more days and then I will have survived a week.

That is why I am eating pie. Well, that, and my Aunt Nancy makes the best fruit pies ever. They're also healthy, due to a sufficient lack of over-sugarizing it, so the guilt-factor is way, way down.

I don't have a lot to say on the subject of work, seeing as I've only had 3 days of it, but it is going to be hard and a lot of work and I think I'm going to like it a lot. One of my first assignments includes interviewing every member of the Ohio Statehouse legislature (99 Reps, 33 Senators), all of whom are up for re-election in the fall minus half the Senate, as well as the Governor. Next year is a Budget year too, so this is going to be a ruthless next few months.

I'm staying with my cousin and her family this week until I move into my apartment this weekend. I get to play with her 7 month baby, which makes me so happy. I love babies. I helped raise all my siblings, spent the last 3 years with the 5 Siegels kids and now I'm going to feel baby deprived for a while since my cousins are moving to GA in 3 weeks, where my cousin's husband is going to practice medicine (he specializes in ENT). I'm reading 3 books right now, which is a little naughty, only because I am trying to read sequentially, but I think multi-reading (a form of multi-tasking) is a habit I picked up in college, and not easily broken. I haven't been writing as much as I've wanted, but I only graduated 3 weeks ago and they've all been a blur. I have been writing letters, though, and thank you notes. I do love writing letters and look forward to writing lots this summer.

My June is booked, as of today. My cousins are coming to Columbus the first weekend; I go to training for Buckeye with Laura (the other journalist hired) the second week with the other reporters from the other 49 state-based think tanks; Michigan the third week for a Hillsdale friend's wedding (Cara, who used to coach soccer with me!); home the fourth week for Muff's Shakespeare performance on Friday and a triple party on Saturday (Mike's high school graduation party, my graduation party and my parents' 25th wedding anniversary party).

I went to a luncheon today where my boss was the keynote speaker and all I can think about is how much work I'm going to be doing and how needed my work is to help turn around Ohio. Perhaps that over exaggerates my importance in the scheme of things, but I like knowing I'll be helping contribute to an accountability in government and a chipping away at an ignorance too many constituents (myself readily included) have about state and local politics, as well as help make much needed reformations. If Ohio does not increase anything in the budget next year, for example, at this point, we'll still be 8 million dollars in debt even before we've started spending more money. That makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Here's to eating pie!

though we do not speak often/ still I write you letters by the thousands in my mind

"Elegy for the Personal Letter" by Allison Joseph

I miss the rumpled corners of correspondence,
the ink blots and crossouts that show
someone lives on the other end, a person
whose hands make errors, leave traces.
I miss fine stationary, its raised elegant
lettering prominent on creamy shades of ivory
or pearl grey. I even miss hasty notes
dashed off on notebook paper, edges
ragged as their scribbled messages—
can't much write now—thinking of you.
When letters come now, they are formatted
by some distant computer, addressed
to Occupant or To the family living at—
meager greetings at best,
salutations made by committee.
Among the glossy catalogs
and one time only offers
the bills and invoices,
letters arrive so rarely now that I drop
all other mail to the floor when
an envelope arrives and the handwriting
is actual handwriting, the return address
somewhere I can locate on any map.
So seldom is it that letters come
That I stop everything else
to identify the scrawl that has come this far—
the twist and the whirl of the letters,
the loops of the numerals. I open
those envelopes first, forgetting
the claim of any other mail,
hoping for news I could not read
in any other way but this.

Stationary Saturday

Today will be mostly writing letters and working on my thesis. Let me know if you want one (a letter, not a thesis) and I shall certainly oblige you.

Song of the day:


Also, two more favorites, compliments of The Killers:


Heather calls this "the cowboy video":

“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.” -C&H

Rachel, I thought you would like to see this snap of Bid Night, when Vivy had the flag and I was at a pause in leading cheers up the hill. I was absolutely hoarse the next day, but that didn't stop me from teaching the new members "Rah Rah for Kappa Kappa Gamma" later that night, of course. Kappa toughens you up. :)

Today, my friends, is full: thesis meeting-dinner crew with Vivy-chapter meeting-reading till bed (and try to sleep since I have an 8 a.m. on Tuesday-Thursdays). I've already gone to class, written 3 letters and talked to a source for my thesis. I have to go meet Dr. Carlson soon and will attempt to re-establish order (i.e. clean) in KKG 11. My sister called me before her 1 o'clock and told me a story, the funniest part being “I paid four bucks for a shot and it was gone in like, a minute. What a rip-off!”

Things I like: watching ducks, Calvin & Hobbes comics, dance parties with Heather in our room

Things I dislike: people who play with their gum, rudeness, when my coffee tastes like coffee

Things I love: walking Heidi while the neighbors sleep, saying "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed" during mass, phone calls from my far-away family

Things I abhor: the word "hate," smallish minds, lima beans

Happy Monday! Don't catch a case of it.

just Heidi and me: a few thoughts to end the year

It's late. I'm sitting with my dog on the couch. Tonight Mom came home from a meeting and came bearing the mail, specifically Christmas cards. I think that is one of my favorite parts of the season: opening and reading the Christmas cards. I still need to send a few out. Tonight we got one from my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Craig, which was cute because their two daughters are so small. We got another one from England, from our former nanny Liz. I wrote her a letter earlier this year, which she responded to months later, but it was nice to hear her mention it in the note. I'll have to write her another.

Another came from a nurse Mom used to work with at Jewish Hospital. The picture is usually of her, her husband, and their dog. This year it was just her and a new dog. It turns out they got divorced after 18 years of marriage. 18 years with someone and then, it's gone. From the way the letter was phrased, it sounded like the marriage had been on the downfall for a few years now. It's very sad. Dad made some comment about how this is why kids are necessary in marriage, how having kids taught him how to Love different ways, how kids were the best and hardest part of marriage. I hope I have a huge family; it's definitely not for everyone, but I think it is the best way to raise a family. ("The more, the merrier!" as Dad always likes to say.)

Sitting with Heidi (my doggie dear), I wonder if my future family will have such a wonderful pet. We had mostly hamsters growing up, pre-Heidi. I think Heidi is a perfect example of an unplanned addition to the family: she was abandoned, found in a public restroom by the dog park during one of the hottest summers. She was only 3 months old and the vet said that if we hadn't taken her in, she would have died. From the first day, though, her presence in the family was felt and embraced. It was like she had always been with us; she had always been a Robison. I remember my grandfather suggested we get rid of Heidi because he was allergic to her hair. The kids went in an uproar and protested. Heidi is obviously still around, but the experience certainly proved her unifying powers and the strong attachment and love we all feel for her. I might grumble over the Heidi hair on my clothes, but it can be quite comforting to find at school when I've been gone a while.

This will most likely be my last post of the year, unless I feel the need to share more about my Christmas break at home. Cousins party tomorrow, Reconciliation Wednesday night, Christmas Eve at my Uncle Mark's house with my dad's side, Christmas at my maternal grandparents' house with my mom's side, leave for Florida Saturday till early January. In between, I'll be running, reading, spending time with the siblings, taking Heidi on walks, working on applications, larding, working on my thesis and potentially seeing friends. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't bring myself to leave the house. I normally see people within hours of being home. It's been almost 3 days now. It's not that I don't want to see people; I would just rather be with my family. I saw a lot of people over Fall break and Thanksgiving break. I think I'm starting to pull away from my home friends, as much as I love them. I'm not going to stop being friends with them (no one gets off the hook that easily!), but I am prioritizing my family over them, which is something I should have done more over past breaks. I think it's the growing up in me. I'm preparing myself for a whole wide unknown and at the end of the day, I'd like to know I was a good big sister for the little kids, Katie through Megan.

I should go to bed soon; I went on a long run today and I am going to feel it tomorrow. Trevor wants to go to mass (non-Catholic friend who likes going to mass, so we go together), I need to work on Christmas presents and my thesis outline, as well as go to the library to find two books to review for next semester, so tomorrow will be busy, busy, busy!

Heidi is twitching a little--that means she is dreaming :) Happy holidays, friends! Enjoy home.

This song is stuck in my head:

Blizzard Aftermath

Up the hill! A glimpse of the quad from outside Lane. There was a huge snowball fight up there last night, when the snow was really great packing consistency. Now it's more rainy snow. If you look carefully, you can see the salt scattered like birdseed. People were around and hurrying to class, but they were passing me on the right and therefore not pictured. I snapped this right before my Frost seminar.

Front of Kappa this morning! The snow is at least half of what it was last night. Not pictured: now lopsided snowman built by three KKGs last night.

Editing Hf pages tonight, going to press tomorrow! Finally!

Currently looking for good F. O'Connor letter to share with epistolary seminar--we have our last meeting today! Matt wanted to eat lunch at Saga today, but Dr. Wenzel is buying our lunch from Oakley's (a really good local sandwich shop, which I like despite my overall unfondness for sandwiches), so I had to take a rain-check. I'm finishing up my personal letters now; I'm mailing eight today! To keep my mind working this weekend even when I was starting to get burned out, I would write a letter to a friend. I love writing letters, even brief ones, to drop people a line and friendly "hello."

Lacking sleep, but doing well. I think my body and mind are simply resigned to this week being over-worked. In Frost, we got a handout and when I passed it to Heather, she said "You taint these by your cheerfulness." I know she was teasing me, but I think it's rude when people take out their bad sleeping habits on other people by being crabby. When I do get crabby, I prefer avoiding people and sleeping, running, reading or praying off my irritability. I believe it's important to keep a genuinely happy exterior--you may make someone else's day better, which is more satisfying than being like Melville's Ishmael, bringing up the rear of funeral processions and methodically knocking people's hats off when I'm having a "damp, drizzly November in my soul."

I'm particularly enjoying "Christmas Carols Radio" on Pandora, but am feeling nostalgic for home of late and therefore have been intermittently listening to the Clancy Brothers as well. Nothing like Irish ballads to lift the spirits! I hope my wake is just as fun as Tim Finnegan's--no crying now; wakes are for remembering the good times and funerals for praying for the soul. Tears should be saved for scraped knees and broken hearts, not death. Death should be laughed at, since people don't really die, whether or not you believe in a Christian afterlife. A good reading of Dante's three-volumes of the Divine Comedy gives one a nice perspective on that topic.



The Gospel reading today is from Matthew. Quite appropriate, I think:
"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." -MT 11:28-30

Happy Wednesday! Snow flurries are picking up again.

I advise you not to mess with anyone who has "the Great" added behind his name

Believe it or not, I'm blogging as a stress reliever. I'm in Lane, studying and reading excerpts from "The World's Greatest Letters" for my seminar class tomorrow. We're focusing on historical letters for tomorrow's class. I've finished the readings for Robert Frost and Journalism. I don't think I'll ever be done with the reading for Founding, but it is certainly something to aspire to. After I type this up, I'll be back to notes and reviewing for classes tomorrow...

My favorite letter exchange is between the then-20ish year old Alexander the Great and his elder King Darius. Alexander is encroaching on Darius's land and so Darius is not too pleased, and thus sends him a letter starting like this:
"From the capital of the kings of the world: As long as the sun shines on the head of Iskander [Alexander] the robber, etc. etc., let him know that the King of Heaven has bestowed on me the dominion of the earth, and that the Almighty has granted to me the surface of the four quarters. Providence has also eminently distinguished me with glory, exaltation, majesty, and with multitudes of devoted champions and confederates."

And ends like this:
"Behold! I send you a coffer full of gold, and an assload of sesame, to give you by these two objects an idea of the extent of my wealth and powers. I also send you a scourage and a ball: the latter, that you may amuse yourself with a diversion suitable to your age; the former, to serve for your chastisement."

You may imagine that Alexander does not take this well. He's going to kill the messengers, but they beg for mercy and he writes a letter in return instead, addressing it "to him who pretends to be king of kings" and then challenges him to battle, saying:
"Lo! I have resolved to meet you in battle, and therefore march towards your realms. I profess myself the weak and humble servant of God, to whom I address my prayers and look for victory and triumph, and whom I adore."

He ends the letter by saying (sorry for the length, but necessary for full effect):
"In return I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory. And whereas through presumption you have exalted yourself, and have become proud through the grandeur of your kingdom, and pretend to be a Divinity on earth, and have even raised to the heavens this standard I truly am your supreme lord; and although by the enumerations of your numbers, preparations, and might you have endeavored to alarm me; yet I confidently trust in the interposition of Divine Providence, that it will please the Almighty to make thy boasting attended by the reproach of mankind; and that in the same proportion as you have magnified yourself He may bring on you humiliation and grant me victory over you. My trust and reliance are in the Lord. And so farewell."

Needless to say, Alexander won and thus wrote another letter to Darius later, telling him that "In the meantime, whenever you shall have occasion to write Alexander, remember you write to him not only as a king, but also your king."

The first two words that came to my mind were "oh snap!" I would love to see world leaders have this type of rhetoric and "diplomacy" today haha.

You might think this is a lame way to de-stress, but hopefully I entertained you with these excerpts. I had to get out of my studying room but I'm avoiding people because, if I do not, we will inevitable get into talking for hours and tonight is not the night :)

Also, I like this one a lot too. This quote was not in a letter, but in the historical afterward note concerning the fall of Rome:
"Tell this tale to those that come after, so that they may know that even in the midst of swords and deserts and wild beasts virtue is never made a captive, and that he who has surrendered himself to Christ may be slain but cannot be conquered." -from "The Story of Melchus" by St. Jerome

best parts of today include (and in no particular order)
--talking to my little sister Megan on the phone
--voicemail from my cousin Sarah telling me she was just calling to tell me she loves me
--the hilarious e-mail/ office story from Rach

I'll be writing more letters to people I know soon, so get excited!