You've Got Style (Choices!)

As I was showing my husband Will an adorable picture (a friend just had another baby!), he replies, "Why is the husband wearing khakis and a button-up in the hospital? That looks so uncomfortable."



 I replied, "It looks so handsome and put together!" Which is true, but did not faze my husband. He is the King of Casual. He tells people he picked emergency medicine as a profession so he could wear pajamas (read: scrubs) to work. I can pick out a button-up, khakis (and maybe a tie!) for church or weddings or certain family events, but casual khaki wear is not for him.

Our daughter, 18+ months, will stuff her feet into shoes too small if she wants to - specifically the silver boots-with-the-fur she found at Old Navy last winter. They're soft and now the sides don't velcro together, but she loves them stuffs her feet into them every so often, even though she has new, cute, correctly fitting shoes available.

Which makes me wonder: what influences style?

Style is "a manner of doing something." If Aristotle thought that virtue becomes a habit by constantly choosing so, then surely fashion style and sense come out of the same practice. Will and I are not naturally stylish. At our best, we dress in a classic manner. At our laziest, we are grasping for clean clothes. Style, I think, is in the middle: it's the every day dressage - the choices we make.

 We both grew up wearing uniforms. His go-to was athletic wear: shorts and a tee-shirt. Mine was always nicer wear: polo shirts, skirts, jeans and pearls. College meant shorts year-round for him, and ballet flats with everything with me.

Why? Comfort.

Not only with the individual pieces of clothing, but the style - what your clothes project to the world, as well as their function. I'm more into scoop neck shirts than polos now; I love mocs and flats; button-up cardigans are my jam; I love fitted pant and shorts in solid colors, and patterned A-line skirts; button-ups do not work for me or my body type.



I love the concept of a uniform - and no matter what our style, we all create a kind of uniform: those favorite, comfortable pieces to wear again and again. But once you've picked out your favorite pieces, is there still room to expand? I hope so - a scarf, necklace, glasses or other kind of statement piece can really create a beautiful image of self. (And one day, maybe, casual khakis for all!)

A lot of my current wardrobe is transferring from third trimester maternity (winter) into breastfeeding postpartum (spring with a dash of snow). I'm finding myself wanting to do a major overhaul of my wardrobe because there are simply too many items that do not fit into this season of my life.

Am I keeping this shirt because I love how it fits, or because I want to wear it eventually? Too often, it is the latter. I'm also finding my style is changing. Sure, I'll love cardigans and headbands forever. But maybe I don't need to still have cardigans from high school and college?

 I am currently reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo and I am most struck by her insistence to only keep things you love; things that move you - not things you want to love. Isn't that a trap too many of us fall in?

I have at least eight pairs of non-maternity jeans, and I realized last night that only one brand fits me well: and still, I keep all the other pairs "just in case"... in case of what?? If disaster hits, the last thing I need is a pair of ill-fitting jeans.

  This weekend, I am re-claiming my style. Here's what is on my mind:

1. Keep clothes that fit well (not "good enough" fittings)
2. Ask myself, Do I feel lovely in this piece?
3. Is it worth wearing? Sure, have a few around the house pieces - but keep clothes that make you feel good and look good!
4. Don't forget accessories!

Style takes time and practice: by knowing what I like, which pieces are versatile, and thinking of needs v. use. It also takes a certain amount of bravery to admit what works, what doesn't, what you like and how you'll proceed once you know (or think you do!). But fashion isn't final, and we should try to allow ourselves to experiment in colors, fabrics, and - of course - different styles.

How have you developed your own style, readers?

{Originally posted at The Mirror Magazine}

Emptying My Closet

As my wedding in 70+ days, I've started packing.

First, my papers. Papers from grade school. Papers from high school. Papers from college. Newspapers I've been published in and edited. Post-it notes. Letters. Spirals full of notes. Journals full of memories. Three garbage bags and many, many boxes from The Container Store later, they were packed and placed in the basement.

Next, my books. When B. and I were first discussing moving, he looked around my room and asked, "Are all these books coming with us?"
I started at him. What's wrong with five bookcase packed full and spilling over into different stacking styles with lovely books?
"Yes!" I told him, incredulous he would ask such a question.

Well, that is no longer true. I decided to be the bigger person and go through all my books and really discern which ones should come and which should stay and keep some soul in my to-be old room. I'm not saying I wept to leave a few books behind, but... books are like friends, right? Six boxes packed, four or five to go.

Now, clothes. This is a more serious problem. I realized that I have a lot of old t-shirts. So does B. They have more sentimental value than anything else; if they were a plain shirt, they'd be tossed in a minute.

My question is this: How do you get rid of clothes you've had forever? What kind of basics should I start looking into to buy for B. and me/ make sure we have? We both have a lot of clothes but... we're grown-ups now. I don't think I should keep my old lacrosse and sorority t-shirts around forever...

Bring Sexy Back? Never!

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder."

-- Emma Watson

Day One of Suiting Up

When I was in the sixth grade, I bought my first J.Crew skirt. It was beautiful- navy with swirly cream designs. It made me feel oh so chic and I liked to practice my French while wearing it.

Fast forward to this past Sunday: I was visiting friends and I mention I need new jeans. I've needed them for a few months, actually, but I hardly go shopping because, well, it's boring. I only go shopping if I need something, like jeans.

Oh, and suits.

This One is for Rachel

[This post is dedicated to my sister-friend whom I lived with last summer in Old Town. She is classy and sweet, and quite stylish. I always loved seeing what she wore to work every day, a combination of feminine and practical pieces.]

I am currently in Washington, D.C. for a conference. The dress code is business casual and I admit I spent about 10 minutes packing. It's not that I don't care about what I wear, per se, it's more that my work attire falls into predictable and classic patterns.

Today, for example, I am wearing an oxford, a salmon-colored cardigan with a knee-length black pencil skirt and flats. Basic, yes, but outfits can always be spruced up by shoes, jewelry and hairstyle. I know this still sounds like a boring topic to blog on, but patience grasshopper. With business attire, I think it is much better to be understated than too loud and edgy. This post is a result of me recently witnessing the latter. The hotel is currently hosting three conferences: the journalism one (mine), a government security one and a leadership one.

The journalism one is filled 2/3 with men in oxfords or polos and 1/3 of the attendants are women in nice skirt or pants outfits. The government one is filled with people in their official uniforms, which I find really cool. The leadership one is more of a range. The men were all dressed vaguely the same, but the women went from practical and comfortable to shorter dresses and very high heels.

I suppose I should caveat that I've never thought of myself as a stickler for dress attire. I think one should dress appropriately and for the occasion, but outside those two mandates, I think people should be able to dress themselves. I’m partial to and think a person can't go wrong with the classics (clothes, books, languages, etc.), but different people can pull off different styles and fashions.

My beloved uniform!

In high school, for example, I wore a uniform. I always love when people argue that uniformity squelches individuality. True, every girl's daily outfit on the base level consisted of the school's name embroidered on a white or forest green polo and the beloved wool plaid skirt. (Truly, I miss my uniform!)

Outside that, there were rules about what one could and could not wear, but those kinds of rules were made to be broken. For example, the rest of my outfit usually broke at least one rule. I wore shorts underneath my skirt, but they were usually soccer shorts and they showed. That, technically, wasn't allowed. My entire junior year, I wore my Birkenstocks every day to school. Why? Why not is the better question; they are comfortable and no-back shoes weren't allowed. I only got called out once by the sports director and I talked my way out of a demerit.

The same went for Kappa in college. During recruitment, we were supposed to wear very specific things and I mostly followed the rules, but the Devil is in the details. For example, we were required to wear black shoes. Traditionally, everyone wore black pointy heels. I wore my black loafers. I don’t think the comfort level is even comparable and my loafers are darn cute. Nevertheless, future generations of Kappas can thank me for the specific rule and requirement now in place that every Kappa has to wear black pointy heels during recruitment events.

The examples abound!

I like military uniforms because it is the same level of professionalism. Journalists are usually dressed well in a nonchalant way so we’re presentable when we show up at the Statehouse or a business. But business people have a different standard. I used to be okay with leniency, but I have been so surprised by people’s selection in professional clothing of late that I am now converted to the idea of the necessity of a suit for low and high brand professionals. Here’s a few reasons why I now believe this:

First of all, modesty. Women wonder why men don’t take them seriously in the workplace, but if they’re dressed in lower tops and shorter skirts, they’re not projecting a serious person. Double-standards? Discrimination? I don’t think so. I haven’t seen men wearing open shirts and shorts in business settings and certainly do not want to. The same goes for women. Work is for work and clothing is part of the working environment.

Secondly, selection. Some pieces of clothing are just not appropriate for work. Examples: anything with rhinestones or sparkles, anything overly flashy or metallic, and strappy high heels. I am mentioning actual clothing selections I have seen in the past two days. All offices I’ve worked for has never had these types of problems.

Thirdly, practicality. This does not mean frumpy. A person can dress well and comfortably. They are not disparate.

Thanks to my sister for my introduction to this great video, an ode to suits:

Washington, D.C. is great, by the way. Really great, actually; I didn’t realize how much I miss it until I got here and I helped an older couple buy their metro passes. I don’t regret turning down my other post-college offer which would have put me in the District, but I do want to move to a bigger city in the next few years. There’s an energy I love with hundreds and thousands of people constantly around and doing something.

The current speaker said at the beginning of his talk, "I'll be here all week. If you need me, I'll be at the bar." Gee whiz I love journalists!